babyharpseal

babyharpseal

Member
Jun 15, 2024
46
i used to have a closest friend. we didnt have many interests in common, but we always happily listened to each other ramble, cheered on each others art, gave advice and comfort, and hung out irl watching movies n stuff. they told me once i was the most important person to them. then they started disappearing on me. at first theyd go offline for a week or two at a time, then that became more n more frequent, they were gone for longer periods, until eventually they stopped messaging me at all. even if i sent them dms, theyd never reply. they didnt even respond when i invited them to my bday

i asked them multiple times what was up, and if theyd said "oh im rly busy with xyz" or "im having mental health issues n its hard to talk much", i wouldve understood, but they never gave any reasons. the most they ever said was theyre just the kind of person who tends to disappear sometimes. maybe bc i never pestered them when they were gone, they figured i was fine with it, and kept ignoring me for longer n longer until they didnt bother with me at all. i did tell them i wanted to talk more, i missed talking, and it made me feel bad when they didnt reply to my messages. and they acknowledged it and would talk more for a bit but then inevitably went away again

i just dont fucking understand how they could do this to me if they apparently cared so much. we used to talk for hours every day n share everything. now i feel so isolated, noone wants to talk abt my interests w me and i have noone to hang out with. in fact the 1.5 friends i have now actually dislike my interests, and at best will humour me by listening to me talk, but i dont want to talk w them bc ill know its just annoying them. ive tried making new friends by joining tons of different discord servers but literally noone will talk to me, everyone just posts their own things n ignores everyone else except their own friends. but if my former friend contacted me and wanted to get back in touch, idk if i'd even want them anymore, im too hurt and dont trust them to be around anymore
 
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Reactions: murmur
murmur

murmur

cage
Dec 11, 2022
129
In the same boat, best not to assume too much, but if you cant help it like me, I'm thinking it's likely that they spent the capacity they had for the friendship on something/someone else, and you know it's their life to dictate, yeah its a pain, specially when you don't get the memo, you never know though I guess, sometimes shit gets real and you've got to put everything down, might not be as easy to pick up where you left off. At least they probably don't mean to hurt your feelings
 

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