Happy or Sad? What should we feel for someone who has CTB'd

[sometimesoon]

not sure - happy for them or sad for them

 

[willitpass]

It's not a single answer. You can be happy that they are no longer suffering while being sad that life was so unfair to them that they felt the need to leave. You can be happy they got what they hoped for and sad for those who loved and cared for them and whom they loved and cared for that are now left in the aftermath. There are many, many sad parts of death regardless of the cause, but suicides are especially messy. Of course you can be glad they are no longer stuck in a life they didn't want, but you can also acknowledge that it is a terrible thing to have had happened. No one deserves a life that is so awful that suicide is a reasonable option, but unfortunately it happens far too often, and if it was well thought out and they truly wanted it, then I am happy they are free even if it's hard to think about.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

IRL, before I joined SaSu, I would only have said sad.
But since joining, I definitely think you need a third option for "both".
I have felt completely devastated by people who have succeeded here but also so, so pleased for them - it's what they wanted. And it's what I want, so I can't be a hypocrite. It's a very strange feeling to feel both at the same time - it's not like anything I've ever experienced before. And selfishly, it gives me hope that if they've succeeded, maybe I can too. I would've seriously judged someone for these thoughts before joining SaSu & they're not thoughts I'd admit publicly - just hopefully here is a safe enough space to be completely honest, even when it's not pretty.

 

[Yoñlü×]

No, the suicide means that the society continues trash, so, the suffer of the suicides is sad, but is good that they have peace finally.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

"Should" does not go with the word "feel".

 

[landslide2]

May they rest in peace. I do not see the point of asking if we should feel 'happy' for them and feel it's disrespectful. Someone's suffering has ended but so has their life.

 

[avalonisburning]

The only thing we should do is what the rest of society couldn't: bless and release them.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

It depends on the person and on the circumstances. Here are a few exapmples:

1. Happy and sad: If someone suffers from chronic pain and they successfully manage to die after genuinely wanting to for some time, then I think we can feel both happy and sad for the person. Happy because they no longer have to suffer, but also sad because instead of dying they were not able to get a life without that chronic pain instead.

2. Sad: Someone dies impulsively 24 hours after their home accidentally burns down. This would be rushed, could have been prevented and the person could have likely got help. In this case I would feel sad only because there is nothing truly happy about the situation.

3. Nothing: If a terrorist commits suicide in their cell after being captured. And no, I would not feel happy, either. There would be just...nothing.

 

[Malfunction]

Sad to see them go but happy they found peace.

No one deserves to suffer needlessly. So essentially I'm happy for them.

 

[evans]

i think it's a lot more nuanced than a simple yes or no. so much that goes into it. it would be hypocritical for most of us to claim we are not happy for someone to finally have peace and relief, and that is something understandable. but it is also sad to know someone's story is over due to their circumstances, and that person deciding ctb is their best option. ive lost a few people close to me because they decided to ctb. i just hope that their peace is everything they would have wanted.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally I'd be relieved to not exist, I'm so tired of suffering in this existence that caused me nothing but pain. For me voluntary death would be something positive as it terrifies me how a human can suffer for so long just to be tortured by old age and die anyway, I only wish to be permanently unaware of this cruel, hopeless existence, death is all that comforts me, I only hope for nothingness.

 

[tsykoais]

it's always just been a bittersweet feeling for me, not happy not sad.

 

[Lost Magic]

yeah, as others have pointed out it isn't just a binary yes or no question. It's a bit of both.

 

[Jeav]

it depends on your perception of afterlife and your perception of the world.

 

[drag201]

Neither. It also depends on the person. For example, I would feel very sad for a person who CTBed out of impulsive reasons and saw no other way out when they were put in a suffocating and crushing situation. But I would feel at peace knowing that a person who has lived out their entire life struggling with severe mental illness could finally find peace and safety. Not in a cherishing happy way, just in a knowing they're finally okay way.

Still, this isn't a "yes or no" question.

 

[Chili]

I think you can and probably will feel both at the same time. You can be happy that someone is free from suffering so bad they felt the need to CTB, and sad that they, someone you liked, is gone. You can also feel sad or mad that the world isn't made for people to be wholly happy, or provide a good "cure" for those who desperately need it. I think death allows for a lot of mixed emotions, but the choice was inevitably theirs. Sometimes once the deed is done all you can do is honor them and respect it

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I personally feel a bit...jealous?