"Happiness is a choice"

[evolutionerror]

I heard someone say today that "Happiness is a choice" and it's been stuck in my head all day. I'm not sure what I think about it, but I don't think I choose to be unhappy. Maybe it's that I focus on being unhappy too much for there to be enough room for happiness. Maybe it's just a matter of perspective, like how you can look at a glass as being half full or half empty. Or instead of having bad days, maybe you just have less good days. Anyway, they say people who are upbeat and positive heal from injuries better/faster... if you believe that.

I don't think I really want to die. It's just that some days, I'm not sure if I can keep on living. I'm very nihilistic as well, so I don't really see the point in much of anything. If I don't die today, I'll still die 10, 20, 30, maybe 40 years from now, and what I have accomplished in that timespan (no matter what happens) will not matter. Because nothing matters, at all. Friend of mine said I can't go through life with that mindset, and I tend to agree.

First time posting in the recovery forum, hopefully I'll be here more often instead of hiding this section in my account preferences. Hopefully I won't be on the site at all one day, either way. Today was a less good day.

 

[Venus13]

I've actually tested this extensively and have come to the conclusion that it's bullshit. I really kept to the brightside, played to my strengths, and sought to see the hope and beauty in a lot of things. I'm the type to do mental gymnastics so that every bad thing that happened to me could be spun into some positive character development. It works on some surface level but you best believe you end up broken by the harsh truth inside. Severe mental health problems still came into play and physical problems still sink me to hell. I'm not even nihilistic, I see meaning and importance in everything I do. Still unhappy. It's not a choice, it's about nature/nurture mostly I think. External and internal things we have no control over play a huge role. You're probably not even nihilistic by choice, free will doesn't exist as they say. You can't beat down any other animal and expect it to be in oblivious good spirits. That response doesn't even make sense for survival. We're not wired to not take mental notes on what hurts. Our body takes notes on how awful this experience in life can be. That's outside of conscious control in a lot of ways.

People have these catchphrases to cope. Most of them are false.

 

[Susannah]

I heard someone say today that "Happiness is a choice" and it's been stuck in my head all day. I'm not sure what I think about it, but I don't think I choose to be unhappy. Maybe it's that I focus on being unhappy too much for there to be enough room for happiness. Maybe it's just a matter of perspective, like how you can look at a glass as being half full or half empty. Or instead of having bad days, maybe you just have less good days. Anyway, they say people who are upbeat and positive heal from injuries better/faster... if you believe that.

I don't think I really want to die. It's just that some days, I'm not sure if I can keep on living. I'm very nihilistic as well, so I don't really see the point in much of anything. If I don't die today, I'll still die 10, 20, 30, maybe 40 years from now, and what I have accomplished in that timespan (no matter what happens) will not matter. Because nothing matters, at all. Friend of mine said I can't go through life with that mindset, and I tend to agree.

First time posting in the recovery forum, hopefully I'll be here more often instead of hiding this section in my account preferences. Hopefully I won't be on the site at all one day, either way. Today was a less good day.

"Happiness is a choice" is more a saying. You have no control over external circumstances. Nor can you choose your family, and their happiness. To some extent, you can avoid a lot of negativity from your surroundings by cleaning up "bad" relationships. Positivity and laughter are contagious in the same way as negativity and complaining.

I think the "saying" seems catchy and attractive to many people because it apparently gives you control over your own life, and your own emotions. It fits perfectly as a title for a self-help book, for example, a headline or some decoration to hang on the wall.
If you ask people what happiness is to them, you will get many different answers. There is no definition of happiness. Thus, it is up to the individual to define what happiness is for them. In this sense, you can say that "happiness is a choice".

I have understood over the years that the word "happiness", and the experience of being happy has changed for me. Happiness for me is the small things in everyday life, the sun is shining, compliments from customers, the absence of pain, a song, the good conversations with my loved ones, etc.

Lots of loveS

 

[Firegirl]

Okay so I definitely don't think life is as simple as 'happiness is a choice' BUT As a fellow nihilist myself, I just want to say, something that has worked for me is a form is a 'optimistic nihilism'. This means that if nothing matters and has no meaning Why not just enjoy ourselves anyway? Its helped me live in the pursuit of enjoying myself and sure it doesn't make life worth living probably but it does make it a whole lot bareable

 

[Tiberius85]

If I don't die today, I'll still die 10, 20, 30, maybe 40 years from now, and what I have accomplished in that timespan (no matter what happens) will not matter. Because nothing matters, at all. Friend of mine said I can't go through life with that mindset, and I tend to agree.

That's a solid conclusion in my view. Nothing really matters. Our life doesn't matter. Life in general is meaningless, without any greater purpose, other than living for the sake of living in the here and now. The only true - because natural - purpose to life is procreation. Though, whether one does pass on the genes to a next generation or not, ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, if broken down to the individual, doesn't matter at all. The universe doesn't care, about you, me or anything, not even the survival of the human race or planet earth.

As you say: whether we die today, or in 10, 20, 30 years won't matter. We as people, as well as any accomplishments, even if those would have some intrinsic meaning to someone, will be forgotten sooner rather than later, whether in 100 or 1000 years. We all die, and those who knew us will die too. Think about how many before us have lived and have been forgotten. It's the natural process of living and dying. There is nothing special about living.

Personally, I find this conclusion utterly liberating. It's not a negative mindset at all. In fact, it's neutral, indifferent to what is commonly perceived as good or bad, which is only an imagination, because there is nothing truly good or bad. It's liberating in a sense, as it narrows the focus to the only moment that actually matters in any life: now.

With that in mind: is happiness a choice? Yes and No. Happiness is an elusive feeling. As feelings tend to do: they come and go. It can't be constant. In moments, yes, a sense of happiness can be felt (for example when tasting a lovely food, having an orgasm, celebrating a goal....) but it's fleeting. Therefore: one who chases constant happiness is bound to fail, ending up disappointed and 'unhappy'.

The only constant, I believe, can be a general feeling of satisfaction, equilibrium. Generated out of inner peace. Inner peace generated out of knowing nothing truly matters. Understanding: we are here now. We can be dead in the next moment. Either way, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter in the wider sense. What perhaps matters for the individual at that moment is how to live that very moment. A paradox? It doesn't matter, but it does matter. What matters for the individual in that particular moment in time doesn't matter all. Because nothing matters at all. If one does something - anything - or nothing: meaningless.

 

[SarRy]

Count your blessings, not your curses. It's a good saying, but it's not great if you have more curses than blessings.

 

[Ashu]

If you hear this, you're talking to a normtard. Walk away.

 

[symphony]

This is toxic positivity at its finest. If happiness was a choice, everyone would choose it 10 times out of 10 and that would be the end of the story. There would be no such thing as say, chronic depression, or unhappy responses to adverse life circumstances like the loss of a loved one. This sort of saying is blatantly false and unfairly blames people for suffering out of their control.

 

[Off The Air]

'optimistic nihilism'

I like this

 

[Moonomyth]

"Happiness is a choice" is somebody regurgitating the lukewarm leftovers of Stoicism as a philosophical standpoint without understanding the underpinnings of it.

 

[IntoTheLight]

It's absolutely not a choice when you're experiencing real suffering. There is suffering so extreme in this world that you wish for nothing more than to be dead. I've experienced it.