GideonVandaleur
Envoy of the Silence
- Dec 15, 2021
- 123
Can't you see me trembling?
The inside of your skull is a waste of space! Grab a spoon! Put it in there! *points at head* Scoop some of that shirt out and eat it. You're better off using it as some kind of fuel for your MORONIC ACTIVITIES!
Hey! Wow! Everyday I encounter stuff. I have to pretend it doesn't exist just to maintain my friendly sanity. Every day! I won't even give examples. Why? Why?! Because I'll say something that offends you and then you'll have to pretend I don't exist. Everyday! I guess what I didn't see coming, I didn't see that when the internet happened, this information coming your way, learning, and being informed; That a lot of it would be really friendly irritating. But it is and I have to find a way to pretend it doesn't exist or I will friendly pop a blood vessel in my mind.
It's cold out here!
You know, I think it's great that big business is I think working towards solving the problem of overpopulation by scooping up the earth's resources and turning it into such delicious, irresistible icecream that we will all become horrifying, unfudgable, Jabba the Hut monster beasts. And the human race will..uh...well it won't cease to exist will it? Obviously we can't all breed, you know what I mean? But should we be lonely? Yes, that helps too. It's good. It's a good idea. What? What?! No! I'm not being nasty! Shut up! Okay, now you're just a ducking little bit of a frightening voice in my head rubber ducky. So, how about I practice mental hygiene and talk about what I am interested in. Okay, what I'm saying is I'm not going to be dictated to by an inanimate object..again!
Why do you exclude me?!
Hi, I'm Jesus Christ. Now look, I know what you're thinking because I'm everywhere. What I don't understand is why MY SIMPLE DUCKING MESSAGE appears to be so lost! What does a historical figure, okay I realize I'm not even a historical figure. There are no records of my existence sooo it's very easy to ignore me! Very nice for you, how convenient! But look, let's flip it around and see what we can salvage from this situation. Obviously, I'm not Mr. Credibility okay. So let me just tell you a story. Okay, I just want you to imagine that in your street or neighborhood there are people who don't suck. TRY TO BE MORE LIKE THEM AND LESS LIKE YOU! Hang on, duck! That's..um..that's Old Testament and I'm sorry okay. When I was coming up back in the day, I picked up some bad habits, I tried to ducking shake them off, I didn't always do that, I'm not perfect, BUT ARE YOU?! Okay? Ducking judgement! JUDGEMENT! Do you think being nailed to a cross is fun?! The reward: I become everything upon being crucified. Okay, so now I'm in everything. Great! Do you know how confusing that is?! I don't even know who I am anymore!
♪Make me into your world♪...Love me!
I just think that as a childless adult male I should be treasured like an exotic creature because I'm special. I don't have to live vicariously through a child to experience the full range of human emotions. I can do that all by myself. I think there should be a parade once a year where childless adults like myself..I'll stand on a float yelling into a microphone: Look at me! I'm so amazing that I've decided to go with the limited edition approach and actually not produce any kind of a flesh photocopy of myself. I've decided that instead of going,"This is great! Let's make another." I've said, "No, how about I enjoy this experience instead of introducing some sort of EMBRYO INTO THE SITUATION TO HAVE THE FUN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING..in fact that I'm having right now in this wonderful, wonderful parade.
The inside of your skull is a waste of space! Grab a spoon! Put it in there! *points at head* Scoop some of that shirt out and eat it. You're better off using it as some kind of fuel for your MORONIC ACTIVITIES!
Hey! Wow! Everyday I encounter stuff. I have to pretend it doesn't exist just to maintain my friendly sanity. Every day! I won't even give examples. Why? Why?! Because I'll say something that offends you and then you'll have to pretend I don't exist. Everyday! I guess what I didn't see coming, I didn't see that when the internet happened, this information coming your way, learning, and being informed; That a lot of it would be really friendly irritating. But it is and I have to find a way to pretend it doesn't exist or I will friendly pop a blood vessel in my mind.
It's cold out here!
You know, I think it's great that big business is I think working towards solving the problem of overpopulation by scooping up the earth's resources and turning it into such delicious, irresistible icecream that we will all become horrifying, unfudgable, Jabba the Hut monster beasts. And the human race will..uh...well it won't cease to exist will it? Obviously we can't all breed, you know what I mean? But should we be lonely? Yes, that helps too. It's good. It's a good idea. What? What?! No! I'm not being nasty! Shut up! Okay, now you're just a ducking little bit of a frightening voice in my head rubber ducky. So, how about I practice mental hygiene and talk about what I am interested in. Okay, what I'm saying is I'm not going to be dictated to by an inanimate object..again!
Why do you exclude me?!
Hi, I'm Jesus Christ. Now look, I know what you're thinking because I'm everywhere. What I don't understand is why MY SIMPLE DUCKING MESSAGE appears to be so lost! What does a historical figure, okay I realize I'm not even a historical figure. There are no records of my existence sooo it's very easy to ignore me! Very nice for you, how convenient! But look, let's flip it around and see what we can salvage from this situation. Obviously, I'm not Mr. Credibility okay. So let me just tell you a story. Okay, I just want you to imagine that in your street or neighborhood there are people who don't suck. TRY TO BE MORE LIKE THEM AND LESS LIKE YOU! Hang on, duck! That's..um..that's Old Testament and I'm sorry okay. When I was coming up back in the day, I picked up some bad habits, I tried to ducking shake them off, I didn't always do that, I'm not perfect, BUT ARE YOU?! Okay? Ducking judgement! JUDGEMENT! Do you think being nailed to a cross is fun?! The reward: I become everything upon being crucified. Okay, so now I'm in everything. Great! Do you know how confusing that is?! I don't even know who I am anymore!
♪Make me into your world♪...Love me!
I just think that as a childless adult male I should be treasured like an exotic creature because I'm special. I don't have to live vicariously through a child to experience the full range of human emotions. I can do that all by myself. I think there should be a parade once a year where childless adults like myself..I'll stand on a float yelling into a microphone: Look at me! I'm so amazing that I've decided to go with the limited edition approach and actually not produce any kind of a flesh photocopy of myself. I've decided that instead of going,"This is great! Let's make another." I've said, "No, how about I enjoy this experience instead of introducing some sort of EMBRYO INTO THE SITUATION TO HAVE THE FUN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING..in fact that I'm having right now in this wonderful, wonderful parade.
