ManicPanic2018
Night of the final day
- Sep 11, 2022
- 182
So I have everything I needed to ctb this weekend. Had a week off work and surprisingly my housemate was going to be out of town for the weekend. I was a little apprehensive to leave so soon to start with but thought, fuck it, there's no reason to prolong my misery. I'll head out Saturday night.
Cue when my housemate was about to leave, I get the "l'm worried about you speech". She knows I've been actively suicidal for weeks but hasn't said a word till now. I tell her I'm fine and that to be honest, it's not her business. Long story short, she gives me an ultimatum. She calls my parents and explains her worries, or calls an ambulance on me.
Cue then my father travelling 2 hours to see me to see whats going on, and a heated discussion with my housemate when my dad leaves. She's cancelled her plans for the weekend out of fears for my safety, and I can't help but tell her I'm mad at her. Cue her calling my dad back in and me now on my way back to my family home with no attempt in near sight.
I feel like my death has been robbed from me. I had it all planned out, ready to go. Nice last meals to eat, my goodbye notes starting to form, the layout of my room that i will finally leave in. Gone. Because my housemate can't mind her fucking business.
I'm the blame to this. I should never have let my intentions slip. Let this be a lesson to never, ever tell anyone ANYTHING about your plans. These life attached fucks will do anything to keep you in their realm because they simply cannot deal with death.
Cue when my housemate was about to leave, I get the "l'm worried about you speech". She knows I've been actively suicidal for weeks but hasn't said a word till now. I tell her I'm fine and that to be honest, it's not her business. Long story short, she gives me an ultimatum. She calls my parents and explains her worries, or calls an ambulance on me.
Cue then my father travelling 2 hours to see me to see whats going on, and a heated discussion with my housemate when my dad leaves. She's cancelled her plans for the weekend out of fears for my safety, and I can't help but tell her I'm mad at her. Cue her calling my dad back in and me now on my way back to my family home with no attempt in near sight.
I feel like my death has been robbed from me. I had it all planned out, ready to go. Nice last meals to eat, my goodbye notes starting to form, the layout of my room that i will finally leave in. Gone. Because my housemate can't mind her fucking business.
I'm the blame to this. I should never have let my intentions slip. Let this be a lesson to never, ever tell anyone ANYTHING about your plans. These life attached fucks will do anything to keep you in their realm because they simply cannot deal with death.
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