guilt

[f1lth]

I plan to kill myself in January, I cant get over the guilt and i dont think i ever will. This is the worst thing i will ever do to my loved ones and i wont be able to apologize in person. I have the rough drafts for the note im leaving and i apologize in it, but thats not enough and i know it. I have failed everyone, and im scared they will feel its the other way around. I hope my death can somehow bring some peace to my loved ones, i dont know how but i hope. This is something i can never forgive myself for. I just hope they can understand. I wish i could do it sooner, i just cant ruin christmas

 

[whywere]

At the age of 67, I have failed so, so many times, that I lost count. so, I know, at least somewhat your feelings on this, BUT I consider you family on here, as having no family nor friends, except everyone here, having you as family and a friend makes the chronic pain so much better, knowing that I am not alone on this world.

Yep, failed, messed up, screwed up, pick a name, but out of the messes maybe it did not make me stronger but have more empathy and I want/need you to know that you are loved, cared about and you have NOT failed period.

Lots of huge hugs, love and the knowledge that you are a very important soul to me and so many others.

Walter

 

[avaruus]

Personally, i leave them with a usb stick that has over 100 of my favorite songs.
A folder full of my favorite manga panels.
A folder with full of pics and vids of interesting stuff i've found, also a bunch of pictures of me and my family together
A .txt file where i talk about my thoughts about death, life and so on, also recommend a bunch of my favorite animes, mangas and other media that i have enjoyed while being alive.
This is all just extra stuff aside from my extensive handwritten suicide notes that i have left for them, of course apologizing and telling them that it's not their fault (it really isn't)

It would certainly help them remember you, if you're worried about not being able to apologize in person, you could also record a video of yourself doing that.

Maybe you could do something similar :)

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that life brought you to this point. It's understandable to feel guilty or bad leaving loved ones behind but it is also your relief from suffering. I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace.

 

[f1lth]

At the age of 67, I have failed so, so many times, that I lost count. so, I know, at least somewhat your feelings on this, BUT I consider you family on here, as having no family nor friends, except everyone here, having you as family and a friend makes the chronic pain so much better, knowing that I am not alone on this world.

Yep, failed, messed up, screwed up, pick a name, but out of the messes maybe it did not make me stronger but have more empathy and I want/need you to know that you are loved, cared about and you have NOT failed period.

Lots of huge hugs, love and the knowledge that you are a very important soul to me and so many others.

Walter

thank you so much, your kind words have made me cry. I havent been told something this loving in a while and it means so much to me. You are an amazing soul and im so thankful for you, you and people like you make things easier

I'm sorry that life brought you to this point. It's understandable to feel guilty or bad leaving loved ones behind but it is also your relief from suffering. I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace.

thank you, yours and others kindness really helps when i feel this awful, i wish you nothing but peace

Personally, i leave them with a usb stick that has over 100 of my favorite songs.
A folder full of my favorite manga panels.
A folder with full of pics and vids of interesting stuff i've found, also a bunch of pictures of me and my family together
A .txt file where i talk about my thoughts about death, life and so on, also recommend a bunch of my favorite animes, mangas and other media that i have enjoyed while being alive.
This is all just extra stuff aside from my extensive handwritten suicide notes that i have left for them, of course apologizing and telling them that it's not their fault (it really isn't)

It would certainly help them remember you, if you're worried about not being able to apologize in person, you could also record a video of yourself doing that.

Maybe you could do something similar :)

this is a great idea thank you so much, i will be doing some of these :)

 

[silligant]

I know the feeling, the main thing holding me back at the moment is also guilt (for worry of what i'll cause; my family have all dealt with mental health problems before and my suicide might trigger another). I don't think I'll ever get over it entirely either, but really I suppose that whatever happens beyond the grave isn't my business

I think perhaps you should leave a note to try and explain it isn't their fault; there seems little else you can do regarding that
I too am planning my suicide in January, I also don't want to ruin christmas or any other holiday, yet I'd really like to leave sooner than later; i wish you good luck, and hope you can find some solace



-

 

[f1lth]

I know the feeling, the main thing holding me back at the moment is also guilt (for worry of what i'll cause; my family have all dealt with mental health problems before and my suicide might trigger another). I don't think I'll ever get over it entirely either, but really I suppose that whatever happens beyond the grave isn't my business

I think perhaps you should leave a note to try and explain it isn't their fault; there seems little else you can do regarding that
I too am planning my suicide in January, I also don't want to ruin christmas or any other holiday, yet I'd really like to leave sooner than later; i wish you good luck, and hope you can find some solace



-

thank you, i also understand the fear that my suicide will cause another. Im sorry you also feel this way. it makes me feel less alone to know someone else is planning to go around the same time for the same reasons. I hope you get peace

 

[silligant]

Personally, i leave them with a usb stick that has over 100 of my favorite songs.
A folder full of my favorite manga panels.
A folder with full of pics and vids of interesting stuff i've found, also a bunch of pictures of me and my family together
A .txt file where i talk about my thoughts about death, life and so on, also recommend a bunch of my favorite animes, mangas and other media that i have enjoyed while being alive.
This is all just extra stuff aside from my extensive handwritten suicide notes that i have left for them, of course apologizing and telling them that it's not their fault (it really isn't)

It would certainly help them remember you, if you're worried about not being able to apologize in person, you could also record a video of yourself doing that.

Maybe you could do something similar :)

That is very, very nice of you; i hope it's well received and alleviates the pain. I'd never really considered a parting gift like this and might use that idea myself :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans and I hope you find the freedom you search for, I really wish that there's the option to just completely erase our existences, it would certainly be ideal to me.

 

[f1lth]

I wish you the best with your plans and I hope you find the freedom you search for, I really wish that there's the option to just completely erase our existences, it would certainly be ideal to me.

thank you, i hope you do as well. That would certainly make things so much easier