Guilt

[jussrav]

I can't seem to let go of my past. I keep going over all the mistakes I've done to get me into the state I am in today. Its not one mistake its alot and I really feel like my life is just over now. I get very worked up I feel like dying because I am alone with my problems and noone can help me but me. Its draining and really debilitating with constant stuff in my head. That refuses to stop. I can't find enjoyment even though I go gum, badminton, swimming I am doomed to he miserable. I want to die but I dont want to mess it up.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be awful what you are going through, failing a suicide attempt is also what I would fear, I really hate how it's so difficult to die. But anyway best wishes.

 

[rabbitmalice56]

I also cant stop thinking about my past, it just always keeps coming back up. I also cant stop my thoughts just going on about everything. I've almost hanged myself but I can't fight off my SI and got scared. I hope you found what you need.

 

[DeadHead]

I can't seem to let go of my past. I keep going over all the mistakes I've done to get me into the state I am in today. Its not one mistake its alot and I really feel like my life is just over now. I get very worked up I feel like dying because I am alone with my problems and noone can help me but me. Its draining and really debilitating with constant stuff in my head. That refuses to stop. I can't find enjoyment even though I go gum, badminton, swimming I am doomed to he miserable. I want to die but I dont want to mess it up.

I have a similar issue, although it's not my main problem.
I've found it helpful to always wear an elastic band around my wrist. When the thoughts get too much, I pull it and snap it on my skin. Sometimes I have to do it several times in quick succession. The sudden pain briefly snaps you out of it.

I've been through lots of elastic bands ;-)

 

[avoid]

I have a similar issue, although it's not my main problem.
I've found it helpful to always wear an elastic band around my wrist. When the thoughts get too much, I pull it and snap it on my skin. Sometimes I have to do it several times in quick succession. The sudden pain briefly snaps you out of it.

I've been through lots of elastic bands ;-)

Did using a rubber band help with reducing your painful/bad thoughts? And how have others reaction to seeing a rubber band around your wrist?

I don't mean to hijack this thread but this seems like a good solution to perhaps getting rid of any painful thoughts from the past.

 

[Foreverix]

Our brains do a great job at tracking all of our past failures and mistakes, but not so much the things we may have done right. Especially when you're depressed, the mind just does a feedback loop of feeling bad, recalling past failures, feeling worse, and repeat. I've never found any solid solutions to this, other than trying to find ways to get outside the thought cycle. But it seems nearly impossible, because the thinking is always there: it's like the air we breathe.

 

[dmdmdm]

Do you want to talk in PM? I've got similar interests and the same problems with my past. Just an offer.

 

[DeadHead]

Did using a rubber band help with reducing your painful/bad thoughts? And how have others reaction to seeing a rubber band around your wrist?

I don't mean to hijack this thread but this seems like a good solution to perhaps getting rid of any painful thoughts from the past.

No one has noticed or commented on the elastic band. It hasn't stopped them coming, but it stops them for the moment when you snap. I got the idea from Jerry Marzinsky (you can find his interviews online).

 

[jussrav]

I also cant stop thinking about my past, it just always keeps coming back up. I also cant stop my thoughts just going on about everything. I've almost hanged myself but I can't fight off my SI and got scared. I hope you found what you need.

I've tried to hang. Noone wants to be around a messed up person. I've had everyone be nasty to me. Tell me to go and die do whatever. I've had enough I just wish I could just get out of here. Mentally I am so messed up I have parents but I actually feel like I dont have parents. Its like I am dead I dont enjoy with them so for me it's like there's no point having them. I am in distress everyday. I can't function, eat, watch tv, sleep, things people take for granted. I have a brain tumour that could make me go blind eventually. And I have long covid twice. I've lost most of my hair etc, get breathing problems, nosebleeds. Yet people say that I am just being a victim. I am not . I can't function as I dont sleep at all. Yet people around me who are functioning are saying they have it worse. Makes no sense.