Guilt & Worry When Going To CTB

[tauntisha]

hi all, i just wanted to note that this isnt a post for my benefit, im just asking the community on their opinions about this / experiences, etc.

My personal belief is that if you truely desire and feel the need to leave this world, then the right method will simply come to you.

why do you feel scared, guilt and sadness for your loved ones when you ctb? after all, they put you here & you didn't ask for it, so how do you then feel guilt? this matter really does confuse me.

(personally, i hold no sadness and/or guilt for my family, albeit SI has screwed me over more recently, my opinion still stands.)

feel free to comment below, thanks!

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I don't feel any guilt but I disagree that the method just comes to people that need it. I need it more than anything and have for an excruciating amount of time and I had to settle for SN. My right method would have been peaceful nembutal. I believe that when people have no other option and are realistic about their circumstances that they find a way to go through with it and usually those methods are crude and cruel. To clarify, I consider hanging having to jump, drowning, gunshot, electrocution, set yourself on fire, starve to death, jumping in front of a train or into traffic, driving a car off a cliff or into a wall or tree, stabbing oneself, or poisoning of any kind to be cruel and crude. Basically any method that doesn't involve being quickly and peacefully rendered unconscious to be crude and cruel. People have done even worse to themselves to die than what I listed.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Unfortunately the feelings you describe are part of being human. Albeit, they can be shitty. No matter how much you want to leave, intrusive thoughts like that are natural and no one should get down on themselves for having them because it's not their fault. That along with SI are two of the hardest things to overcome no matter how airtight the method (I'm speaking about what's currently available, obv if N was out there we'd all be gone)

 

[hereornot]

I have another point of view on guilt. I feel guilty exactly for believing that it was worth putting my family first. May this serve as an example for more people.

My whole life was built alone, at 30 I had great independence, until my bpd mother parachuted into my life. I didn't know what a bpd person was. In short, she destroyed everything I built and my mental health too. I went into a self-destructive cycle afterwards.

I saved my mother's life, the only one in the family who did something, but then everyone who did nothing despises everything I lost and labels me as bad. They only think about saving their money and no one really cares about others.

Now i am here, planning my ctb.

In your place I wouldn't worry about others. My experience has proven that expecting any type of empathy from family members is an illusion, unless you have something to give them.

 

[agony1996]

hi all, i just wanted to note that this isnt a post for my benefit, im just asking the community on their opinions about this / experiences, etc.

My personal belief is that if you truely desire and feel the need to leave this world, then the right method will simply come to you.

why do you feel scared, guilt and sadness for your loved ones when you ctb? after all, they put you here & you didn't ask for it, so how do you then feel guilt? this matter really does confuse me.

(personally, i hold no sadness and/or guilt for my family, albeit SI has screwed me over more recently, my opinion still stands.)

feel free to comment below, thanks!

I think the answer is simple, we're human and we have emotions. Sorry I don't mean to be rude

 

[kilowatt]

I relate to this. I consider myself a nice person up until it comes to my own final peace. The aftermath of my suicide and the feelings my acquaintances will feel is truly none of my concerns. I was never offered the help or support I needed at the right time, so why should I worry about what they think when it's too late. I have no shame in being selfish when it comes to my biggest goal, which is just ceasing to exist.
However, plenty attempts later I still haven't found my right or desired method, I guess. But I'm hoping next time it will be more reliable as I finally can get my hands on SN.

 

[Epikur]

Guilt, shame and moral are the ingredients of my suffering for decades. I always think of what happens to my partner, friends, family when I CTB. That prevented my demise for way too long time. But I couldn´t help it. I even talked to some friends about my depression and longing to die. They told me it´d be a selfish act. I think they are selfish as hell by themselves by not accepting my wish. That´s why I even wish to catch a deadly disease so as to die "natrurally". Silly, isn´t it?