Venting Guilt towards my boyfriend

[drraculaurra]

I've been suicidal for years now and nothing has made me change yet, i've been with my boyfriend for a while now and i know that he was suicidal too before he met me and he says that i'm the only way for him to be happy/not want to die. I've talked about suicide with him and he told me that he would probably ctb if i did too. Which means that if i die, i'll be responsable for the pain of his family too. I don't know what to do.. staying alive is getting harder each day but i don't want to hurt anyone.
What can i do?

 

[shrobae]

i had a girlfriend who said the same thing to me but looking back my mutual friends always told me that it was manipulation. im not saying that your boyfriend is that way in any respect. codependence on each other is a blessing and a curse. it sounds cliche but you have to find what makes you happy and it can't always be on another person. life is all about discretion.

 

[Worndown]

It is good you are a match for him and give him the stability he needs.
Since you have discussed this, is there a way he can make your life better? Codependant sounds bad, but if iit can work, everyone wins.
If not, leaving together?

 

[drraculaurra]

i had a girlfriend who said the same thing to me but looking back my mutual friends always told me that it was manipulation. im not saying that your boyfriend is that way in any respect. codependence on each other is a blessing and a curse. it sounds cliche but you have to find what makes you happy and it can't always be on another person. life is all about discretion.

I hope that you moved on from her. I don't really depend on him, i enjoy being with him but i can never be happy, I know that he can though

It is good you are a match for him and give him the stability he needs.
Since you have discussed this, is there a way he can make your life better? Codependant sounds bad, but if iit can work, everyone wins.
If not, leaving together?

I don't think that he would be better off dead, i believe that he can get better and that death is too radical for me, i thought of acting like a bad girlfriend so that he leaves me but i don't wont to hurt him.
Any advice on this?

 

[shrobae]

Relationships are one of the most difficult things to navigate nowadays. I try to ignorer the idea that it is a central part of human nature and just try to do it on my own. life is so complicated and people are so scuffed, me included. wish u luck on whatever happens, just know that its ok to be selfish to a degree.

 

[drraculaurra]

Relationships are one of the most difficult things to navigate nowadays. I try to ignorer the idea that it is a central part of human nature and just try to do it on my own. life is so complicated and people are so scuffed, me included. wish u luck on whatever happens, just know that its ok to be selfish to a degree.

thanks a lot for your answers! have a nice life man, i hope that you can find hapiness

 

[shrobae]

It is good you are a match for him and give him the stability he needs.
Since you have discussed this, is there a way he can make your life better? Codependant sounds bad, but if iit can work, everyone wins.
If not, leaving together?

Codependent is nothing but bad in my opinion. It may have been different back in the day but now the dynamics of EVERYTHING have caused everyone to look out for themselves. And this may be a bit dramatic, but it's becoming the only way to "survive." I would rather be okay on my own than be emotionally dependent. It's such a slippery slope, though. idk sorta venting. just brain vomit at this point.

 

[Worndown]

It sounds like you need more stability and he would need to provide at least some of that.
Talk to him about this. Tell him your issues. Be very open. If you are currently contemplating an early exit, you really have nothing to loose.
I hope you two can find a way this can work!

 

[shrobae]

thanks a lot for your answers! have a nice life man, i hope that you can find hapiness

u too!

 

[Neowise]

Which means that if i die, i'll be responsable for the pain of his family too.

No, he will be responsible for the pain of his family. This isn't your problem at all.

 

[drraculaurra]

It sounds like you need more stability and he would need to provide at least some of that.
Talk to him about this. Tell him your issues. Be very open. If you are currently contemplating an early exit, you really have nothing to loose.
I hope you two can find a way this can work!

thank you so much for your answer!! I don't think that he could help me with anything mentally and I don't want to worry him so i won't talk about how i feel.

No, he will be responsible for the pain of his family. This isn't your problem at all.

If i manage to stay alive he will as well. so his death will probably be on me