Venting guilt, selfishness, and other unhelpful emotions.

[liz!!!!!]

my mother tried to get me put in the hospital. she assumed i tried to kill myself, despite me telling her i didn't. five police officers came to our house for me. i explained the situation to them, and they understood. the officer talking to me said he needed me to be honest, because if he goes home and finds out i did, how would HE feel?

why do i care how this stranger would feel if i offed myself? why would that ever matter to me? i don't even know you. if i do end up doing it, it'd probably be out of spite. i don't have my medicine. i don't have anything going for me. me simply being here and existing is a burden to others because i'm so useless that i can't even help anyone. i'm too old to exist, but too young to die, and too codependent to exist on my own. and too scared to catch the bus...

 

[LittleCupcake]

Seems like a guilt trip tatic, police will try anything to stop someone even emotion manipulation. Most people that CTB will leave someone behind, imo I dont really care as I dont want to live life for others and endure suffering along the way.

 

[sincerely dead]

It angers me that people in this world are so quick to become selfish by guilt tripping a hurting person, far before they would ever actually contribute to changing the broken system. Shifting the blame onto you is disgusting, especially for a police officer who should know better. I want to run to your defense and say an unkind thing or two about this officer, but I do feel a pulling of grace. You and I, and probably others on this forum, are likely just numb to the idea of catching the bus. It doesn't phase or shock us like it does to the rest of the world. I think that others are not used to being around people who are pro-choice with this kind of thing. There is a stigma - a big one. And the average person, cop or not, is going to respond in selfish ways because that is literally what pro-lifers are trained to do. Their whole basis is built upon a selfish foundation. And I think that they don't view it that way because they want to believe in a better future for us, and think that they are doing us a favor.

Their sugarcoated optimism for us does not justify their self-centered thinking but I'd like to think it explains it.

I am sorry your mother did that to you and that you weren't believed. And I'm sorry that you've further been pushed down the hole of being misunderstood. I wish the system would change, and I wish police officers were actually trained in mental health and crisis, rather than coming in with firearms and threats. We are treated like criminals for how we feel.

When really, the enemy is the one that put us there in the first place: the society everyone wants us to so badly be a part of. And ugh.. what a mess.