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BlueberryDeer

BlueberryDeer

Hope is volatile
Nov 20, 2025
53
I realized that I'm mostly guilty free for thinking about my suicide. This is regardless of two other college friends who died by it (And it was hurtful for our group, surely), and my family. Since both my parents are dead, unless they can feel in the afterlife, I don't break their hearts.
Even the main reason to reconsider that is not to contribute to the LGBTQIA+ suicide statistics (specially amongst transgender people like me is fading.
I'm not searching for recovery, since the main reason to do it is financial and I'm tired to be in the endless cycle of entry jobs, and since I'm not able to do a second bachelor's degree to shift career, I personally don't have much time, besides to treat all the personal problems.
So... Let me ask you, community : do you feel the same way? When you desist of life and don't fear any regrets or guilt of killing yourself, are you in a no return point?
Sure, everyone have some fear of dying, it's up to our instincts to preserve our life, but I'm talking about the manner of dying.
How do you feel about this?
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
13,880
I suppose psychologically, we can get to the point where there is nothing or at least, very little holding us back. Few people to feel guilty for hurting. Nothing much left we want to achieve or that we are looking forward to. We still have to get over the fear element though. I'm not sure any of us know just how strong our SI will be until we are just about to do the act. So, I wonder if it ever actually is inevitable for anyone. No matter how much logical sense it makes, or how free we feel to do it. I'm not sure we'll truly know we can do it till we are doing it.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,200
I'd never regret being permanently free from this cruel, dreadful and torturous existence rather to cease existing and never suffer again is just all I hope for, it's all I see as positive, I never would had chosen this existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake in the first place and nothing would make me want to be tortured in this existence for decades longer with no limit as to how much one can suffer just to face the agony of old age, all I want is to be permanently unconscious with no more pain and no more suffering and I suffer simply from being burdened with this existence, I just don't want to suffer at all, I just want peace instead.
 

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