Guess I’m back again, things just get worse huh?

[AwokenToReality]

Haven't been around here in a long time, believe my last post was in December. After a few times delaying my bus journey due to fear in failing, I decided to take a step back from visiting the site on a daily basis and speak to my GP about my problems. I was placed on antidepressants and to be fair originally i did find they increased my mood and found myself not as often in the dark place I was frequenting for a large portion of last year.

Then March hits and ruins everything. I started having some medical problems and due to my GP and the local urgent care centre failing to acknowledge my symptoms, this problem was left untreated until I collapsed and I finally got some help and has now left my body in a bad state. I have lost the ability to walk without support, and my vision and hearing have deteriorated, as well as a large portion of my body remaining weak and numb, leaving me to struggle with day to day tasks and things I have enjoyed doing.

I'm still in the hospital receiving help from physiotherapists, however I've been told it may take a long time for my body to recover and it seems like they're rushing to get me out of here based on that so they have an empty bed. Over the past week or so I've found myself back in the dark place I was in last year and getting rather intrusive thoughts again. I'm quite worried that I'll. never be able to walk without support again, do simple tasks like getting washed and dressed or do the things I used to enjoy and it's having quite a negative impact on me mentally.

Anyways, guess I'm back, so hey again

 

[FuneralCry]

This life can be really cruel to us, we try to improve and yet bad things just keep on happening. Nobody deserves the suffering that this life gives us and having health problems can make the body into a prison. I wish you well.

 

[AwokenToReality]

This life can be really cruel to us, we try to improve and yet bad things just keep on happening. Nobody deserves the suffering that this life gives us and having health problems can make the body into a prison. I wish you well.

Thank you friend, I wish you well too

 

[WornOutLife]

Hi! Sorry you're going through this but...WELCOME BACK!!

We'll do nothing but support you!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[AwokenToReality]

Hi! Sorry you're going through this but...WELCOME BACK!!

We'll do nothing but support you!

Hugs,

Matt

Thanks Matt, SS is still one of the most supportive places I've found! I appreciate your reply. Also, to all those with the nice reactions, I appreciate you too!

 

[Moose.000]

Your post made me think of the old Hotel California song...
"You can check out anytime you like. But you can never leave."

 

[the_final_countdown]

Haven't been around here in a long time, believe my last post was in December. After a few times delaying my bus journey due to fear in failing, I decided to take a step back from visiting the site on a daily basis and speak to my GP about my problems. I was placed on antidepressants and to be fair originally i did find they increased my mood and found myself not as often in the dark place I was frequenting for a large portion of last year.

Then March hits and ruins everything. I started having some medical problems and due to my GP and the local urgent care centre failing to acknowledge my symptoms, this problem was left untreated until I collapsed and I finally got some help and has now left my body in a bad state. I have lost the ability to walk without support, and my vision and hearing have deteriorated, as well as a large portion of my body remaining weak and numb, leaving me to struggle with day to day tasks and things I have enjoyed doing.

I'm still in the hospital receiving help from physiotherapists, however I've been told it may take a long time for my body to recover and it seems like they're rushing to get me out of here based on that so they have an empty bed. Over the past week or so I've found myself back in the dark place I was in last year and getting rather intrusive thoughts again. I'm quite worried that I'll. never be able to walk without support again, do simple tasks like getting washed and dressed or do the things I used to enjoy and it's having quite a negative impact on me mentally.

Anyways, guess I'm back, so hey again

I know the struggle of facing a life doing the things you can no longer enjoy.

I'd like to go tonight before things worsen. Just one drink. But I'm struggling. It's so hard.

Wish there was someone willing to put a bullet in my head. I'd travel just about anywhere to do so.

 

[AwokenToReality]

I know the struggle of facing a life doing the things you can no longer enjoy.

I'd like to go tonight before things worsen. Just one drink. But I'm struggling. It's so hard.

Wish there was someone willing to put a bullet in my head. I'd travel just about anywhere to do so.

I agree, I tried so many times to bite the bullet and follow through on plans but it's so damn difficult. Hope you're able to find your peace whichever route that maybe soon enough, no one deserves this suffering.

 

[orlandom]

Try the restore branch.

I think you have a chance to get out of here again.

Why has your physical health deteriorated?

 

[AwokenToReality]

Try the restore branch.

I think you have a chance to get out of here again.

Why has your physical health deteriorated?

I was diagnosed with a vitamin B12 deficiency, and they believe I was lacking in other vitamins as well, although they didn't test for any others due to the symptoms largely relating to a B12 deficiency. Because this was left untreated for as long as it was, roughly 3 months it basically largely damaged my nervous system affecting my feet, legs, hands, vision and hearing. I received treatment via a drip, but still require bi-weekly injections for B12 now that has finished and I am still left with the physical problems for however long it takes my body to recover.