Venting Growing up with abusive parents/dysfunctional family

[Skyyyfarer 26]

I grew up with very abusive parents with a lot of money problems and my childhood and early adulthood were extremely bad due to these reasons
However they are not why i want to ctb
I don't have any kind of relationship with them now so I don't care what happens to them
But I have one classmate from school that I'm still in touch with and she was the nicest person I had ever met
We weren't exactly friends because we really don't have much in common so we didn't talk that often
But the one thing that i still remember about her is her parents
I had went over to her house a few times to work on assignments and seeing her family and her relationship with them genuinely made me want to cry
Her mother was the nicest and friendliest person I had ever met and her dad too
Even the few times a stranger like me went over to her house they were so involved but in a good/healthy way?
They asked me about my life, kept bringing us snacks all the time and always told me to stay back for dinner
It wasn't like they were very rich either
They lived in a small two bedroom apartment
Once I was talking about jobs and what to do after we graduate with that friend and she said she doesn't want to leave her home even if it meant not getting a good job or giving up on opportunities(I live in a small town and you have to move elsewhere if u want to attend uni or get a decent job)
But i understand her decision?
If I ever had parents like her i wouldn't mind giving up on opportunities either
Seeing her family made me realise the extent to which my family had messed me up and it made me feel like my life was rigged from birth(if that makes sense?)

 

[synthcadia]

yeah, this does make sense. i don't come from an abusive or really dysfunctional household, but i do understand viewing other people's families and being saddened by your own lack of functionality in your family. i hope i made sense. <3

 

[hellispink]

Coming from a very dysfunctional narcissistic family, I understand where you come from. They create us to be monsters and then blame us. Time to erase them from my memory as all they have done to me is just harm and negligence. They will never accept their wrongdoings.

 

[kindalone]

My parents taught me that everyone is like them, especially from our cultural background, and that they are just acting on the surface, only to realize that they were wrong. Not everyone is like that and most of them didn't have to fear the kind of violence and abuse in the home. I've excused their behavior for 2 decades and fed into their beliefs. I've messed myself up trying to adapt to their whims and now I'm not really functional anymore. Parents have so much power but they are always so damn optimistic and arrogant about it. None of them believe they can't do it right and go into it with just a dream of having mini-mes, fulfilling their lost dreams and hopes. And then they blamed me for the situation I was in, forcing me to find a way to repair their damage. Like I was responsible for the shitty life they led. Fuck them. I'm sorry op that your parents set you up for failure. It really fucking sucks.