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W

WhereMyDreamsWent

An idiot.
May 9, 2023
10
You make me feel a way I don't want to feel. No it's not love, no it's not a crush.

It's this form of self hatred I have for myself in utter disappointment knowing that I have teamed up with such ridiculous people.

There are 7 of you. 6 of you makes me want to cry EVERYDAY which I have this class EVERYTIME there is a group discussion involved. The only time I actually didn't cry was when the teacher did individual assignment review where no one asked me any stupid question that made my sanity snap.

To that 1 person who didn't make me wanna cry I want to confess my love and appreciation of you being a member. No not love you romantically. Just my heart being warmed up at the thought of you because how bad the other 6 are.

To the rest of you setbacks, why? Why do you make my life so hard? So many group works and ideas. No one has the initiative to carry it out. I ASSIGNED roles for it.

Dear editor. The edit which took you ONE DAY can cost me 5 mins. You have no idea how many curse words I threw at you in my mind when I received the video. The voice doesn't match the video. There's no subtitles. The part where theres no words spoken aren't cut out. The stutters are not corrected or even attempted to be corrected. During class you make me want to cry in class you would sit in the cornor of the class and look at your phone the whole time. You won't participate in group discussion. Over the course of the last few weeks I only seen you even sit in a circle with the group TWICE. Today I went home, crying because of this sense of hopelessness I felt the moment I received your video. IT TOOK ME LESS THAN A DAY TO EDIT A 30 MINUTE VIDEO. YOU TOOK A DAY TO EDIT 2x 25second videos which are barely edited you might as well give me the raws and call it a day. I puked twice reaching home and cried. I would think that with the amount of time you spent on the phone you would know the quality of very short 30s videos should be. But no. You made 2 failures out of a somewhat decent raw with your editing. Not visual edits, no sound edits, barely passable synchronisation of video and sound and no subs. I worked with worst raws or 30 minutes of a person stuttering and I had to manually create subs because their accent was too heavy. WHAT IN THE VIDEO DEGREE ARE YOU TAKING IF YOUR EDITS ARE LIKE THIS? AT LEAST HAVE A DECENT SYNCHRONISATION. At home reflecting and thinking about you got me crazy, because I was thinking I was actually for once grateful for you for joining the group discussion by standing there and looking at your phone. At least the teacher will think we're working in a group. DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD OF A TEAMMATE YOU ARE TO HAVE PEOPLE APPRECIATE YOU FOR BEING THERE? I never thought I would grade a teammate a 0/5. You made me want to do that. Throughout the semester. I told the group repeatedly. Suggest ideas etc. At least everyone took part in suggesting ideas. THE ONLY WORK YOU'VE EVER BEEN ASSIGNED WITH AND YOU MESSED IT UP. IT IS EMBARRASSING TO POST YOUR VIDEO.

To the two. I get that you struggle with the language barrier. Thank you for suggesting ideas and also carrying out the assigned job decently. TAKE INITIATIVE AND TRACK THE GROUP ASSIGNMENT TASK. I ASSIGNED THAT TASK LAST TUESDAY SAYING I EXPECT THE VIDEO ON WEDNESDAY. SO YOU DECIDE TO SHOOT ON TUESDAY AS THOUGH THE EDITOR DOESN'T NEED TIME?

For that other guy in the other corner unlike the rest of the 6. YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH. WHY ARE YOU ASKING WHAT TO DO DIRECTLY AFTER TEACHER SAID WHAT TO DO. WHAT EVEN PISSES ME MORE OFF IS WHEN YOU ASK WHERE DO WE GO TO FIND THE QUESTION AS THOUGH THE TEACHER DIDN'T ALWAYS SAYS X WEEK CHAPTER X SLIDES. YOU LOOK AT YOUR PHONE WHEN TEACHER'S TALKING AND ASK ME WHEN TEACHER IS DONE TALKING. WHY BOTHER COMING TO SCHOOL AT ALL?

For the other two, HOW MANY TIMES DID TEACHER SAY MAKE YOUR OWN CONTENT? CAN YOU LOOK AT THE CONTENT WE POSTED? CAN YOU MAKE MORE ORIGINAL ONE? IDEAS IDEAS IDEAS YET NONE OF YOU WANT TO CARRY IT OUT WHEN YOU GUYS HAVE THE PRODUCT. YOU GUYS BE GIVING AND ASKING ME ON MORE DETAIL ON AN IDEA WHEN BOTH OF YOU WHL ARE THE MAIN PARTIES INTERESTED I THE SUGGESTION SPEAKS THE SAME LANGUAGE. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO GK THROUGH ME?

To one of the other two, shy in communication ? Congrats. Guess what you're not the only introvert around here. Tons of us are. It's whether or not you're willing to step out of your comfort zones. WHY ARE YOU MAKING THE PARTY WE'RE COLLABORATING WITH (A) CONTACT SOMEONE WHO ISN'T EVEN PART OF OUR GROUP (B) AND ASKING B TO CONTACT A ON A MESSAGE YOU WANNA GIVE THEM WHEN A HAD REPEATEDLY CONTACTED YOU AND TRIED TO CONTACT YOU WHEN B DIDN'T DELIVER THE MESSAGE A HAD TO CONTACT ME. WHY WHEN I MESSAGE YOU YOUR EXCUSE IS I TOLD B TO DELIVER THIS MESSAGE. DID YOU PAY B TO BE YOUR DELIVERY MAN? IS THERE ANY BENEFIT FOR THIS SLOW EFFORT? HAVE I REPEATEDLY TOLD YOU TO SETTLE TIME DATE LOCATION OF THE COLLAB AND HANDOVER?? I WAS SO MAD WHEN A & B CONTACTED ME ABOUT THIS. WHAT I THE COMMUNICATION ARE YOU STUDYING? VACATION? BECAUSE YOU SURE AS HELL WASN'T LISTENING WHEN I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHAT TEACHER ASSIGNED. NO, YOU WERE TOO BUSY CARING ABOUT A SINGLE STRAND OF MY HAIR FALLING OFF. I PRETTY SURE MY SANITY SNAP WHEN YOU TOLD ME That. I WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO REACH OUT TO THEM FOR THAT COLLAB YOU TREAT THAT COLLAB LIKE IT'S THAT FRIEND YOU DIDN'T LIKE CONTACTING YOU THEY'VE BEEN CONTACTING YOU FOR DAYS. DAYS!!! NOT MINUTES, HOURS, DAYS. DAYS.

Group presentations for tutorial activities, HOW HARD IS IT FOR YOU GUYS TO GET EACH OF US US EVENTUALLY GOING TO PRESENT? IT TOOK US 8MINS TO SORT THAT ONE SINGLE FACTOR OUT. THE TEACHER GAVE US 15 MINS TO DISCUSS AND CREATE OUR SLIDES. AND THE PEOPLE WHO GOT THE MESSAGE CORRECTLY? NO ONE BOTHERED OPENING A SLIDE, A DOCUMENT OR EVEN READING THROUGH TEACHERS SLIDE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION. I ASSIGNED A QUESTION TO EACH OF US? MORE LIKE I ASSIGNED QUESTION TO ALL OF YOU AND HALF OF YOU CAME UP TO ME WITH A UNO REVERSE CARD. At one point I just completely gave up. That week I was busy, tired, exhausted and fed up, I was mentally, emotionally, physically drained from helping out on an event organised the day prior and I knew that same day I had to go again till late night. I did Not appreciate the judgemental looks given when the only answer I was willing to provide was "Look at the slides." yet guess what. In that session only I presented in the group. One of you wrote a long paragraph in the chat answering the question. Yet you don't want to present because you're shy WELL GROW UP YOUR DEGREE IS COMMUNICATION. I BROKE DOWN CRYING I PRESENTATIONS TWICE BEFORE COLLEGE. I TOOK THIS DEGREE KNOWING THERE'LL BE A LOT OF GROUP WORK AND PRESENTATIONS BECAUSE I WANTED TO STEP OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE I LIKED THE COURSE MODULES, I LIKED WORKING WITH GROUPMATES. BUT GROUPING UP WITH YALL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM A LONE KNIGHT FIGHTING A 500 PEOPLE WAR. I THE MIDDLE OF EXPLAINING TO YOU GUYS. ONE OF YOU WHO WERE, FOR SOME REASON, BUSY LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE FOR A BIT COULD CUT IN AND ASK FOR AN EXPLANATION WHILST I WAS ALREADY IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING.

IM NOT ONLY THE LEADER, THE TRANSLATOR, THE PRESENTER, THE TRACKER (WHEN ONE OF YALL CLEARLY WAS SPECIFICALLY ASSIGNED TO THIS ROLE YET YOU DID NOTHING ABOUT IT.) I ALSO THE FREAKING ONLY ONE I THE GROUP. THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME FROM SNAPPING IN CLASS IS KNOWING ONCE I SNAP I WILL UNLEASH HELL AND THAT ONE GOOD TEAMMATE WHO ACTUALLY HELPS AND TAKE INITIATIVE.

ALSO WHAT QUESTION IS HOW DO WE START? WHEN THE ASSIGNED TASK IS CONDUCT AND INTERVIEW. WELL DETERMINE TIME DATE LOCATION WHERE YOU CAN CONDUCT IT. CREATE QUESTIONS AND PROFILE OF INTERVIEWEE. HAVE YOU NEVER DONE A SINGLE INTERVIEW? A SURVEY? This is COMMON SENSE.

ANOTHER CLASS? CONGRATS THE WORK I ASSIGNED TWO THREE WEEKS AGO ISN'T COMPLETED. WHEN I TOLD YOU IT WAS DUE LAST WEEK LATEST.

AND ANOTHER MATE, WHAT QUESTION ARE YOU EVEN ASKING? WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS WHAT IS OUR TOPIC TWO WEEKS AFTER TOPIC IS FINALISED AND DECIDED.

Another CLASS WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS "MUST WE CONDUCT AND INTERVIEW" when for the past semester this whole time. The teacher, I everyone else, the assignment brief NEVER SAID THAT.

ALSO WHO ORGANISES A MEETING AND DIPS ON THAT MEETING? I WOKE UP AT 5:30AM FOR MORNING MEETINGS. YOU KNOW THAT. BECAUSE ANYTHING LATER THAN THAT I WOULD BE LATE. YOU CANCELLED 30MINUTES BEFORE? ALSO WHAT AHOLE ARE YOU TO CONTINUOUSLY MESSAGE ME ON CANCELLING THE MEETING WHEN YOU COULD PROPOSE CANCELLATION IN GROUP CHAT AT 12 AM INSTEAD OF DM ME AT 12 AM EXPECTING ME TO BE AWAKE AT THAT HOUR WHEN I WAKE UP AT 5:30 FOR THAT. YOU COM MAJOR MAKES ME REALLY WONDER IF I REALLY NEED TO TAKE COM MAJOR.

"don't get angry" This. This makes me want to get angry and release all my anger on you.

also the excuse of working etc does not CUT IT. I DO NOT CARE HOW MANY SIDE JOBS YOU Have unless you're giving me money, you can hire me, I CANNOT CARELESS ABOUT YOUR EXCUSES I OH I WAS WORKING SK I COULDN'T GET IT DONE. YOU WERE WORKING FOR ONE WEEK STRAIGHT? NO BREAKS? I TOOK ALL NGIHTER FOR A QUIZ I TOOK ALL NGIHTER FOR PRESENTATION. TAKE AN ALL NIGHTER OR LOSE YOUR JOB IF YOU'RE NOT PREPARED TO BALANCE YOUR TIME BETWEEN STUDIES AND WORK. IT WAS YOUR DECISION FOR THAT JOB/DUTY. JUST LIKE IT WAS MINE DECISION TO DARE BEING GROUPED UP W YALL AND ACTUALLY HAVING THE HEART TO CARE TK EVEN TRY LIFTING OR WANTING A HIGH GPA WITH THESE SORT OF TEAMMATES.

GUES HOW MANY VIDEO EDITS, ANIMATIONS AND ESSAYS I NEED TO WRITE. BE HAPPY YOU GUYS HAVE THREE ESSAYS TO WRITE ONE ANIMATION TASK, ANOTHER 3 ESSAY TASK, MAX OFF THE COURSES YA TAKE BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE THE SAME MODULES. IM EDITING ATLEAST 1 15 MIN VID, ONE 30 MIN VID WHICH IS GOING TO INCLUDE MORE FOOTAGE SPERATELY SHOOTED LATER, AN ANIMATION, 3 ARTICLES, 3 ESSAYS. DEAL. WITH. IT. AND NOT TO MENTION THE AMOUNT OF DUMN QUESITON I GET ASKED. DO YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL? I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS WHO MAKES SURE I EAT EVEN WHEN I NEED TO RUSH WORK, DO MY CHORES, FIND AN INTERNSHIP, FIND A JOB, BE BETTER CONTINUOUSLY EVEN WHEN I BREAK DOWN THE BEST MY PARENTS CAN TO US SCOLD AND WHIP ME BACK UNTIL I UP ON MY FEET AGAIN. I GOING TO KMS AT THIS RATE BEFORE I STRANGLE ANYONE ELSE

If anyone at any point feel offended by these. Reflect. Think about how you make your teammates feel. Also to that one nice boy, sorry for not having group discussion in English I try to. But the girl won't stop speaking Chinese. So I speak in eng and she'll tell me to speak Chinese. Also to that really really really nice girl in one of my group and the duo group. You're low-key the best, your smile is pretty your eyelashes and long your facial features are beautiful and I honestly wish you a long life because you're so wholesome and nice as a group mate even when majority of the group doesn't speak a language you KNOW you learn their language a bit to try and communicate with them even tho it wasn't compulsory. You're literally what I aspire to be and you keep me going ILY I know you aren't going to see this. I fact none of you are.
 

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