Grief I have to die in such a cheap way

[PrincessInWhite]

I have a chronic incurable physical illness that greatly affects my QOL on top of multiple severe treatment resistant mental illnesses.

I hate that I have to die with a method that is more drawn out than it has to be. I just wish I could have N but I am not willing to break the law and risk jail for it. I wish even more assisted suicide were legal here for proven cases of true unfixable suffering so that I could legally and safely visit a doctor and get what I needed after proving I've tried treatments, medications, therapies, etc.

I have FINALLY accepted my death which is big, I hadn't come to terms with it really. But I don't know how I'll bring myself to do the final act with the crude methods I have access to that take longer to kick in/suffer, etc. if I had my magic potion I could absolutely drink it.

Im just so tired. I am tryint absolutely everything I can with these illnesses because I don't believe in giving up easy but it's proving a losing fight.
Much lvoe for my fellow chronic pain and illness sufferers.

 

[Kbeau]

I have a chronic incurable physical illness that greatly affects my QOL on top of multiple severe treatment resistant mental illnesses.

I hate that I have to die with a method that is more drawn out than it has to be. I just wish I could have N but I am not willing to break the law and risk jail for it. I wish even more assisted suicide were legal here for proven cases of true unfixable suffering so that I could legally and safely visit a doctor and get what I needed after proving I've tried treatments, medications, therapies, etc.

I have FINALLY accepted my death which is big, I hadn't come to terms with it really. But I don't know how I'll bring myself to do the final act with the crude methods I have access to that take longer to kick in/suffer, etc. if I had my magic potion I could absolutely drink it.

Im just so tired. I am tryint absolutely everything I can with these illnesses because I don't believe in giving up easy but it's proving a losing fight.
Much lvoe for my fellow chronic pain and illness sufferers.

Thank you for posting - I so agree with the need for safe, legal methods.

 

[PrincessInWhite]

Thank you for posting - I so agree with the need for safe, legal methods.

I dream of it like you wouldn't believe. With a proper vetting process to ensure the person is of sound mind and has actually attempted recovery and treatments, etc.

It's cruel I have to go like this when I'm more than willing to go through any process or pay whatever funds to go properly.

Sending strength and light your way xx

 

[Awakenings]

I too wish we were all given the right to choose a time and place for a peacful exit. It saddens me that we're forced to make-shift and hobble together something to make our final act as painless as we can. After all, most of us here have indured more then our fair share of pain and suffering to begin with. Many of us are poor, tired, sick and worn out already. Beaten down by our lives time and time again.

I truly wish I could understand the reasoning behind forced existence by our leaders. To whom are we expected to serve? If we can't even control our own fates, then why bother? I may not have much in worldly possessions, but my life is mine and mine alone to do with as I wish. We are not property of our respective governments. If they can't (or won't) figure out how to help the most vulnerable of their society, then just help us to leave it. Is that asking too much?

Wishing the best for you, Take care.

 

[Pookie]

When I just had depression I could still deal with it. But now that I have mental AND physical pain to deal with, it's intolerable. I'd rather just have depression. I understand where you're coming from and I'm so sorry that life has been so cruel to you. Sending you hugs.

 

[wordsonscreen]

I too wish we were all given the right to choose a time and place for a peacful exit. It saddens me that we're forced to make-shift and hobble together something to make our final act as painless as we can. After all, most of us here have indured more then our fair share of pain and suffering to begin with. Many of us are poor, tired, sick and worn out already. Beaten down by our lives time and time again.

I truly wish I could understand the reasoning behind forced existence by our leaders. To whom are we expected to serve? If we can't even control our own fates, then why bother? I may not have much in worldly possessions, but my life is mine and mine alone to do with as I wish. We are not property of our respective governments. If they can't (or won't) figure out how to help the most vulnerable of their society, then just help us to leave it. Is that asking too much?

Wishing the best for you, Take care.

This resonates so much. It is so hard to do this much research and prep when we are in such difficult places already. ALONE might I add. Most of us are struggling with day to day regular stuff and now we need to start a whole new solo project just in order to have some peace. It is inhumane frankly. Everyone deserves a dignified and peaceful exit.

 

[dandan]

And so it was for Maria N. Which I've met here and became cross-county phone friends. She had terrible pain and motor skills affected, we were teaming up, but I've found TRT and it worked. She was happy for me... she did not found a way out, I'm so sorry, I don't understand "why", why her, why such unbearable illness, like my depression before trt, but more pain, damm...

I'm so sorry, and I do send you a big hug.

 

[signifying nothing]

I just wish I could have N but I am not willing to break the law and risk jail for it.

Why not?

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm in the same situation except I have N. Just like you, I'm suffering from a physical illness and several mental conditions. I went all in and took the risk two years ago and purchased N but it paid out in the end. I agree with you, peaceful methods should be accessible to everyone that's suffering. It's very frustrating to hear that people have to resort to painful or less reliable options for their exit and that's why I'm a passionate right to die activist. We shouldn't have to beg for mercy, in our specific case a peaceful way out. I'm sorry about your pain and the situation you're in. What's your method if I may ask? I'd say SN is a cheap but effective alternative to N and relatively close to peacefulness according to the PPH. It's widely accepted in the community and also my alternative just in case something goes wrong with my N.

I hope you find a solution to your problem.

 

[PrincessInWhite]

When I just had depression I could still deal with it. But now that I have mental AND physical pain to deal with, it's intolerable. I'd rather just have depression. I understand where you're coming from and I'm so sorry that life has been so cruel to you. Sending you hugs.

I relate to this sentiment SO MUCH!!! sending the utmost love and care to you, I am here if you ever want to chat.

Why not?

because I couldn't handle having to go to jail with my condition. I have severe OCD and anxiety and while I disagree wholeheartedly with the law I am still not comfortable breaking it. I am a very legal person, everything I do is calculated to avoid punishment. that's how i'm wired unfortunately.

I'm in the same situation except I have N. Just like you, I'm suffering from a physical illness and several mental conditions. I went all in and took the risk two years ago and purchased N but it paid out in the end. I agree with you, peaceful methods should be accessible to everyone that's suffering. It's very frustrating to hear that people have to resort to painful or less reliable options for their exit and that's why I'm a passionate right to die activist. We shouldn't have to beg for mercy, in our specific case a peaceful way out. I'm sorry about your pain and the situation you're in. What's your method if I may ask? I'd say SN is a cheap but effective alternative to N and relatively close to peacefulness according to the PPH. It's widely accepted in the community and also my alternative just in case something goes wrong with my N.

I hope you find a solution to your problem.

would you be ok if I PM'ed you?

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, dear.
I don't have a physical illness but my mind is making me go mental so I can kinda relate.

I would tell you to keep on fighting but I know it's not easy. I'm trying to but today was so depressed that I thought of ctb (after some weeks!)

Anyway, hope you can feel better soon and find the peace you're looking for.

 

[RainAndSadness]

would you be ok if I PM'ed you?

Sure!

 

[Pookie]

I relate to this sentiment SO MUCH!!! sending the utmost love and care to you, I am here if you ever want to chat.

Thank you, sending love and care to you too. I'm also available to chat whenever you need to. x

 

[Arnie]

It's cruel and disgraceful having to be forced into resorting to such extreme means and measures, whilst also having to worry about some potentially servere consequences, in order to find peace.

The situation I'm personally in is different to the one you're in....although it's not completely unrelated, as it hits very close to home for me. I don't suffer from an incurable physical illness, although *all* of the family I once had around me did.

I'm very sorry for what you're being put through and my heart goes out to you.

 

[Georgiana Darcy]

I too wish we were all given the right to choose a time and place for a peacful exit. It saddens me that we're forced to make-shift and hobble together something to make our final act as painless as we can. After all, most of us here have indured more then our fair share of pain and suffering to begin with. Many of us are poor, tired, sick and worn out already. Beaten down by our lives time and time again.

I truly wish I could understand the reasoning behind forced existence by our leaders. To whom are we expected to serve? If we can't even control our own fates, then why bother? I may not have much in worldly possessions, but my life is mine and mine alone to do with as I wish. We are not property of our respective governments. If they can't (or won't) figure out how to help the most vulnerable of their society, then just help us to leave it. Is that asking too much?

Wishing the best for you, Take care.

I could not agree more.