You are a FANTASTIC spirit! It takes a lot of guts, and intuitive mindset and believe me, you are a winner period.
Through all the decades, since mid 1970's, I have seen and meet folks who complained about this and that, but never had the guts to try.
Trying and rejection then succeeding is one of the aspects of life. I have been rejected so many times, BUT I always kept trying and then everything gelled, and I found a position that I loved.
You are me, albeit decades apart but still the same and you WILL do and be great, I 100% believe in you.
Lots of well wishes, caring thoughts and the belief that you will do great things, not only for yourself, but so many others.
Walter