Got N, about time to leave

[Boxoftools]

I've been apart of this community for the better part of a year now, and I think I owe at least a goodbye and thank you to everyone involved. Sincerely, thank you all, I wish everyone the best. it's a shame really, from what I've read on here most fit in the category of "people this world is worse off for losing and failing miserably". The past 3 months I've been an inactive spectator, reevaluating the decision I have made and to me, it seemed that distancing myself from the thoughts might make things clearer. In some ways, it has even if it just reinforced my decision.

I ordered N from A (thanks to SS) and it arrived 12 days later, the test was complicated but eventually yielded a positive result. Meto came from A with Zofran available locally to me, I will be doing a stat dose as I couldn't stick to a regiment if my life (or death) depended on it. I will be pouring the bottles into a cup and disposing of them before I drink to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to getting N here in the states.

On a personal note, I think it speaks to my current state that I felt the need to say goodbye to a bunch of strangers on the internet and have only 1 person IRL that I will be saying goodbye to. I guess this really is the depth of depression and the unfortunate reason a site like this exists and is helpful. Had I been a better person and made some different decisions I would probably never be in this situation to begin with, but I wonder what comfort I would have found instead. all in all its been a fun ride, but I wouldn't do it again given the chance, I got to experience love, depression, hate, heartbreak, and menial comfort in that order I know what it feels like now and don't need anymore.

There it is, in three short paragraphs everything I've wanted to say before I go. I've got the how and basic why covered but if anyone has any question I'll be around for a couple of weeks or so yet, but honestly I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my chest and probably will not check back often. Best of luck everyone! I hope all ends as it should. I sincerely hope it gets better for all of you.

 

[GinaIsReady]

I related to what you said sooooo much. I wish you well. Hugs and kisses.

 

[bilamajina]

@Boxoftools, how did you test your N?

I wish you the best, and hope you find some peace...

 

[alfie]

godspeed

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

All the best to you, and thank you for the heartfelt goodbye. I hope your CTB goes well, and hope you find peace that you truly desire.

 

[saomao]

Good luck

 

[Boxoftools]

@Boxoftools, how did you test your N?

I used a home drug test for barbiturate first to verify it was at least worth pursuing more. If you use this method you have to make sure you get one that doesn't check for the metabolite but for the substance itself. I got one at Walgreens.

For purity testing I used exit internationals test. Lab turn around was super quick (3 days) and returned the same results as their reaction test they had. The reaction test just used a small amount of n with measured amounts of another chemical added until a color change happened. After the color change you take both known amounts and consult a chart that will give you a purity/ concentration.

A's product was exactly as described.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry you've come to this point, and wish the world had been a more comfortable place for you. Going forward I wish you the best possible outcomes of your decisions: a light transition, a good journey, and peace.

 

[Final Escape]

Hope it goes smoothly

 

[LonelyLight]

Best of luck to you! I hope everything goes as you wish

 

[Alec]

Stay strong, I love you and thank you for saying goodbye and your well wishes, wishing the same back to you, hope you'll find whateer it is you are longing for

 

[LaBrava]

All the best to you.

 

[suicideofpeace]

Goodbye my friend

 

[kolski]

Rest well my friend. I hope you find peace.

 

[Dartz]

Hope you find peace, whatever happens

 

[TimeToDie]

Rest in peace.

 

[Lara Francis]

I've been apart of this community for the better part of a year now, and I think I owe at least a goodbye and thank you to everyone involved. Sincerely, thank you all, I wish everyone the best. it's a shame really, from what I've read on here most fit in the category of "people this world is worse off for losing and failing miserably". The past 3 months I've been an inactive spectator, reevaluating the decision I have made and to me, it seemed that distancing myself from the thoughts might make things clearer. In some ways, it has even if it just reinforced my decision.

I ordered N from A (thanks to SS) and it arrived 12 days later, the test was complicated but eventually yielded a positive result. Meto came from A with Zofran available locally to me, I will be doing a stat dose as I couldn't stick to a regiment if my life (or death) depended on it. I will be pouring the bottles into a cup and disposing of them before I drink to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to getting N here in the states.

On a personal note, I think it speaks to my current state that I felt the need to say goodbye to a bunch of strangers on the internet and have only 1 person IRL that I will be saying goodbye to. I guess this really is the depth of depression and the unfortunate reason a site like this exists and is helpful. Had I been a better person and made some different decisions I would probably never be in this situation to begin with, but I wonder what comfort I would have found instead. all in all its been a fun ride, but I wouldn't do it again given the chance, I got to experience love, depression, hate, heartbreak, and menial comfort in that order I know what it feels like now and don't need anymore.

There it is, in three short paragraphs everything I've wanted to say before I go. I've got the how and basic why covered but if anyone has any question I'll be around for a couple of weeks or so yet, but honestly I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my chest and probably will not check back often. Best of luck everyone! I hope all ends as it should. I sincerely hope it gets better for all of you.

Hi.
Such a lovely post.
I wish you safe travels and peace when your chosen time comes.x

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

I wish you well and peaceful journey. Another loss to this dying world. You are brave and I hope I have the same bravery to do the same.

 

[Made4TV]

If you decide to delay or change your mind, no judgment here. But after all that effort it seems you have decided the best course for you and if you go through with it I wish you a very peaceful passing.

 

[bigj75]

damn everyone getting n.

 

[bilamajina]

@Boxoftools, sorry, I didn't fully follow. You first used a basic barbiturate home test kit from Walgreens, then purchased Exit's "Max Bromson" purity test kit, which is also a home test kit? So where did the "Lab" come into the testing?

 

[Boxoftools]

sorry, I didn't fully follow. You first used a basic barbiturate home test kit from Walgreens, then purchased Exit's "Max Bromson" purity test kit, which is also a home test kit? So where did the "Lab" come into the testing?

Hope this clears it up for you. The purity test wasn't available so I bought one second hand but of course I was Leary of it but had the extra n so i decided to try it out. I didn't mind the good sleep I got either.

Here is a link for the lab test.

Nembutal Sampler Kit - Exit International

A kit with syringes and containers for forwarding samples to the laboratory.

exitinternational.net

 

[bilamajina]

@Boxoftools, can you PM me please.