Story Got a silenced pistol in my dream

[KLUF]

Me and my wife (an abstract one) were at a train station. We were talking near the main entrance. Then she started to leave and I followed her calmly. A silver colored car pulled up and she got into it with some guy behind the wheel, I thought I had seen him a couple times but that's it. I watched them leave with a little disappointment. I guess we were going to divorce after that.

I returned to the train station and bumped into a quite attractive 30 y/o-ish woman in a blue coat in the entrance. She subtly smiled and pointed a silenced pistol in her bent hand at me but didn't kill me. All I remember since then is this very pistol lying on the grey tiled floor approx. 3 meters from me and no woman around.

I picked the pistol up and found myself sitting on a wooden bench at either a park or sidewalk. I put the muzzle close to my head under the chin at a proper angle, then to my temple but couldn't pull the trigger. This time I didn't know it was a dream and apparently was simply afraid. Would be fun if it turned out to not be loaded

It's not a complete description of what I experienced but it'll do.
Was it my subconsciousness' attempt to prob me for firearm suicide fears? I wanted to get a gun in a dream to find out whether I'd be afraid or not. Guess I answered my question.

Thanks

 

[Giraffey]

I'm regularly asked to interpret dreams, especially those with an obvious symbolic or profound element to them. But the truth is that it isn't as simple as directly translating the dream narrative into reality. I'll spare you much of the scientific discussion; however interesting I find it; unless you want to hear it, and I'll focus instead on your question of whether this could be a sort of subconscious survival instinct.

Putting it simply, our actions in dreams tend to be tied quite closely with how we would behave in real-life (with some exceptions and bizarre distortions)... So I think that this is a case of having a gun being very much on your mind and when you had one in your dream it revealed those subconscious fears and reservations that you may not have acknowledged in waking life (but are very much present) surrounding the use of a gun for suicide, and potentially suicide in general.

I wouldn't think of this as an attempt by your subconscious to dissuade you from using a firearm in suicide, but rather a kind of 'simulation' of the sort of emotions you would experience if you were to attempt a firearm suicide for real. Those thoughts were on your mind and your brain has taken bits and pieces of them and fed them into a sort of 'virtual world' in which you have access to a gun courtesy of a strange lady, and how you reacted when you had it pointed at you ready to shoot in the dream, is a reflection of your current emotional narrative both conscious and subconscious.

If I were advising you then I would say to take a step back and give some more considered thought to whether you're really ready to end your life, or if it's worth going down a different path and trying to exhaust any other options first... Although I'm saying this ignorantly, respecting and supporting your choice either way but ignorant of any of the circumstances that you might have talked about in previous posts (so forgive me if I do sound really preachy and ignorant there).

Hugs

 

[KLUF]

@SlowMo thanks for a detailed answer! No problem in "ignorance" and being "peachy", this is perfectly fine, even though I don't see anything like that here.
This happened to me before with the exception that I had an AK and was 100% aware it was a dream (without everything else).