Venting Goodbye

[Couchking]

I've decided I'm going to go in a few hours.
I have to do it. This is the only way. I just feel it. I know it.

All choices seem wrong, no matter what I choose so no more lying to myself, to anyone.

Doing it now is the only way. Tomorrow won't be better. A week from now it won't hurt any less.

I have to go through with it. The fear is as big as I can imagine. The terror of the unknown. The ultimate unknown. Not knowing if you ever wake up or think again. It is pure terror and pain and fear.

But the only way is to go through with it isn't it? Eventhough it hurts and I'm a weak coward scumbag. I have to.

What else can I do. I've reached the point of no return. I don't have a choice. This is just the way it is.

I am just scared of pain. Scared of not existing. Scared of some sort of hell. Scared of waking up in a nightmare scenario. Scared Scared Scared Scared Scared. Pain Pain Pain Pain Pain.

I'm done with everything.

I will be myself for the first time. I won't lie. I will be true to myself and follow my heart.

And that means leaving this world via partial suspension. Simple just as described on this site. If I don't really log in after a few days....well then it works as a method.

Been with this community since long before the ss reddit ban. Goodbye everyone. This time, I'll go through it.

 

[blueming]

Goodbye and good luck :) I wish you the best. It's normal to feel scared of the unknown, I think we all feel like that. You're very brave and I hope you find your peace.

 

[lostinthedream]

Infinite peace, love, and wisdom... There are truly no words, may you rest peacefully..

 

[Couchking]

I'll log out now. Need these last few hours with myself.

Love you all. Remember me well. ":D Goodbye.


Hope I won't fail and come back here hahaha....

No. That won't happen. I was joking.

Bye :)

 

[Jblack]

Goodbye and Peace. I do wish you a very peaceful transition. Fear of the unknown is difficult, everyone encounters it, some over come it. I do admire your courage in making your choice and wish to you the best in your journey.

 

[skitliv]

Thats courageous, hope it all turns out well

 

[ctoan]

this is how bravery looks like

 

[Schopenhauer]

Good luck, I hope you succeed!

 

[Miss clefable]

Hugs hope you find peace

 

[Salvacion]

Praying things went smoothly

 

[Lra888]

Hope everything went well and your pain is over.

 

[wanttodie]

Good luck, I hope you succeed

 

[onewayroad]

I know that you probably do not exist anymore so will never read this, but I hope you had finished planning and preparing so everything went well. I am afraid of failure and being in a worse state than I was so I really hope that if you did go through with it you are at peace.

If you didn't, know that you will still be welcomed back here until you are ready to ctb. Many do not succeed on their first attempt. I didn't.

If you did, rest well.

 

[0blivi0n]

Good luck- may you find your peace.

 

[eczema]

i hope it was painless and you're happy now

 

[xonnia]

may you find peace

 

[Dicktracy]

I've decided I'm going to go in a few hours.
I have to do it. This is the only way. I just feel it. I know it.

All choices seem wrong, no matter what I choose so no more lying to myself, to anyone.

Doing it now is the only way. Tomorrow won't be better. A week from now it won't hurt any less.

I have to go through with it. The fear is as big as I can imagine. The terror of the unknown. The ultimate unknown. Not knowing if you ever wake up or think again. It is pure terror and pain and fear.

But the only way is to go through with it isn't it? Eventhough it hurts and I'm a weak coward scumbag. I have to.

What else can I do. I've reached the point of no return. I don't have a choice. This is just the way it is.

I am just scared of pain. Scared of not existing. Scared of some sort of hell. Scared of waking up in a nightmare scenario. Scared Scared Scared Scared Scared. Pain Pain Pain Pain Pain.

I'm done with everything.

I will be myself for the first time. I won't lie. I will be true to myself and follow my heart.

And that means leaving this world via partial suspension. Simple just as described on this site. If I don't really log in after a few days....well then it works as a method.

Been with this community since long before the ss reddit ban. Goodbye everyone. This time, I'll go through it.

RIP

 

[Roulette]

Bravery is admirable. Wishing you the best of luck stranger

 

[BurningLights]

I hope it all works out for you, and you find the peace you deserve. May the universe bless your soul.

 

[Roph]

I hope you find your peace.

 

[deathoverlife]

I'll log out now. Need these last few hours with myself.

Love you all. Remember me well. ":D Goodbye.


Hope I won't fail and come back here hahaha....

No. That won't happen. I was joking.

Bye :)

Hope it worked for you...Hope your path to peace was peaceful...rest in peace

 

[Couchking]

Still here. Not sure why...Not sure how I got here? Probably because im weak, scared and procrastinated. Survival instinct all that. I hate myself.

 

[Nofaith]

Still here. Not sure why...Not sure how I got here? Probably because im weak, scared and procrastinated. Survival instinct all that. I hate myself.

It happens. Welcome back :)

 

[Aesthler]

Still here. Not sure why...Not sure how I got here? Probably because im weak, scared and procrastinated. Survival instinct all that. I hate myself.

Don't hate yourself we are all here to support you. I do hope you get the peace you are looking for no matter what.

 

[Living_Ghost]

Its OK . We all die in the end . This pain is temporary . Even if its long and fucking excruciating. When the time is right we will do it.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Still here. Not sure why...Not sure how I got here? Probably because im weak, scared and procrastinated. Survival instinct all that. I hate myself.

You still have time. I'm going through something similar right now. I was supposed to hang myself today...

 

[onewayroad]

Still here. Not sure why...Not sure how I got here? Probably because im weak, scared and procrastinated. Survival instinct all that. I hate myself.

You might have been scared but you're not weak. I'm sure there is a good reason that you are still here, and if a time comes that you cannot bear to live I'm sure you will be able to leave if that's what needs to be done.

Hope you are ok.

 

[Couchking]

Thank you all. Really is amazing how sometimes people can be this supportive and kind.

 

[Candour]

Still here. Not sure why...Not sure how I got here? Probably because im weak, scared and procrastinated. Survival instinct all that. I hate myself.

This is exactly how I felt after my failed attempt last week. It sucks, I feel better though now, and going to be trying again very soon. It's not easy, lots of people have failed attempts before getting the deed done. Just try not to be hard on yourself, even though that's really hard too, and then try again when you're ready.

 

[AndyCurious]

This is exactly how I felt after my failed attempt last week. It sucks, I feel better though now, and going to be trying again very soon. It's not easy, lots of people have failed attempts before getting the deed done. Just try not to be hard on yourself, even though that's really hard too, and then try again when you're ready.

I know the feeling too well myself... Hugs <3