Discussion Goodbye Thread

[rigsid]

Hi SaSu.

Just received my SN today and I want out ASAP so I'm going to attempt this Saturday.

For protocol I'm just preparing 2 cups, 25g, and I have some benzos I got from my GP, and then just fasting before. Will take a basic pain killer too.

Nothing fancy but SN is so lethal I doubt I'll need it.

Going to a nearby hotel for it. I'll just tell my family I'm in the neighboring city if they ask. That's usual for me on the weekend.

Not excited about traumatizing the hotel staff but it's better than being 'saved' by my abusive mum.

This community was a really big help in getting through the last month or so. My condition has been horrific for years but it has only deteriorated the past few months. Im glad I was able to find something to hopefully give me peace, and a space where these things aren't so stigmatized.

Honestly I'm worried that SI will be a bitch and I'll live. I'm hoping to put on some favorite relaxing music of mine like Clair De Lune, and that the benzos might calm me down.

If I do live my mum will get more controlling, I'll lose my job, and basically everything else otherwise will get worse. Good chance I get sectioned too which would be horrific. Just makes me more motivated to see it through though.

I met some nice people on here too. Thank you for being here, and being so kind to me. I wish kind words were enough to even make me feel 1 percent better. I really feel for everyone living in suffering.

If you're curious to know about what drove me to this point at 19 there's more info on my profile. Not sure it it's public or how to change that?

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll keep updated on this post of what happens.

 

[whywere]

Lots of love and peace to you always.

Always around if things change, as we are ALL family here.

Walter

 

[polly10]

Still unable to get SN, frustrating

 

[scary]

Best of luck rigs. I hope it all goes well and that you end up in a better place

 

[fightclub17]

19! Please don't, you are far too young!!! You will work and become self sufficient and be able to move into your own place away from any abuse.

 

[rigsid]

19! Please don't, you are far too young!!! You will work and become self sufficient and be able to move into your own place away from any abuse.

I am in work right now and lasted a month before taking an overdose and ending up in A&E. And that first month was training.

I am way too disabled to work and I'm not eligible for social housing or benefits.

Best of luck rigs. I hope it all goes well and that you end up in a better place

Personally I think there's nothing after you die and I'm okay with that.

 

[fightclub17]

I am in work right now and lasted a month before taking an overdose and ending up in A&E. And that first month was training.

I am way too disabled to work and I'm not eligible for social housing or benefits.

I'm so sorry to hear that life is so cruel. I hope you find the peace you're looking for 🕊

 

[behindtheveil]

I am in work right now and lasted a month before taking an overdose and ending up in A&E. And that first month was training.

I am way too disabled to work and I'm not eligible for social housing or benefits.

Personally I think there's nothing after you die and I'm okay with that.

Just curious, did you try anything different work wise. May be another job type. Maybe this might not be the right one for you. I am only saying this because you can always ctb whenever you like since now you have the means. How about trying something different in life just for fun.

 

[rigsid]

Just curious, did you try anything different work wise. May be another job type. Maybe this might not be the right one for you. I am only saying this because you can always ctb whenever you like since now you have the means. How about trying something different in life just for fun.

It is impossible to even find other work in this job market. I've done other work and also hated it.

 

[Macedonian1987]

If you decide to leave… i wish you to wake up in a better world than this one.

 

[walliwalli]

i hope you find peace <3

 

[rigsid]

If you decide to leave… i wish you to wake up in a better world than this one.

i hope you find peace <3

Thank you both. I hope there's some lovely afterlife too, but I'll happily settle for nothingness.

 

[redsendtend]

Hi SaSu.

Just received my SN today and I want out ASAP so I'm going to attempt this Saturday.

For protocol I'm just preparing 2 cups, 25g, and I have some benzos I got from my GP, and then just fasting before. Will take a basic pain killer too.

Nothing fancy but SN is so lethal I doubt I'll need it.

Going to a nearby hotel for it. I'll just tell my family I'm in the neighboring city if they ask. That's usual for me on the weekend.

Not excited about traumatizing the hotel staff but it's better than being 'saved' by my abusive mum.

This community was a really big help in getting through the last month or so. My condition has been horrific for years but it has only deteriorated the past few months. Im glad I was able to find something to hopefully give me peace, and a space where these things aren't so stigmatized.

Honestly I'm worried that SI will be a bitch and I'll live. I'm hoping to put on some favorite relaxing music of mine like Clair De Lune, and that the benzos might calm me down.

If I do live my mum will get more controlling, I'll lose my job, and basically everything else otherwise will get worse. Good chance I get sectioned too which would be horrific. Just makes me more motivated to see it through though.

I met some nice people on here too. Thank you for being here, and being so kind to me. I wish kind words were enough to even make me feel 1 percent better. I really feel for everyone living in suffering.

If you're curious to know about what drove me to this point at 19 there's more info on my profile. Not sure it it's public or how to change that?

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll keep updated on this post of what happens.

Before you go, could you say how you filled in your SN order (from DSL) good enough that you were able to recieve it without being caught/stopped, or without a welfare check? I'm in the UK and registered with Mental Health Services, as well, for context. Also can you share more info on the whole process of you recieving it being in the UK?

 

[black_iris]

i hope you find the peace youre looking for <3

 

[dewdfish]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for

 

[I can see the light]

I'm sorry and hope you find the peace you deserve.

 

[rigsid]

Before you go, could you say how you filled in your SN order (from DSL) good enough that you were able to recieve it without being caught/stopped, or without a welfare check? I'm in the UK and registered with Mental Health Services, as well, for context. Also can you share more info on the whole process of you recieving it being in the UK?

Not sure. Likely just luck but I ordered a smaller quantity (50g), and used my trans name which isn't fully up to date yet on the NHS and similar.

 

[socksnsandles]

I wish you a peaceful death

 

[redsendtend]

D

Not sure. Likely just luck but I ordered a smaller quantity (50g), and used my trans name which isn't fully up to date yet on the NHS and similar.

OK, did you have to show your ID?

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find freedom from suffering.

 

[truehappiness]

Hey if you want something truly calming before you go try the song "It's late" from "A beacon school"

I have yet to find something more relaxing ^^

I hope you will have a good departure and manage to find your true happiness <3

If you would like something more sad then "Please" from "Jagger Finn" also slams
And almost anything from "Small Forward" <3

 

[rigsid]

Hey if you want something truly calming before you go try the song "It's late" from "A beacon school"

I have yet to find something more relaxing ^^

I hope you will have a good departure and manage to find your true happiness <3

If you would like something more sad then "Please" from "Jagger Finn" also slams
And almost anything from "Small Forward" <3

Thank you. I like the song. :)

 

[truehappiness]

Thank you. I like the song. :)

I am glad <3
I hope it could calm your nerves a bit.
If you go then I would like you to go in the least painful way possible

Much love and know you are never alone in this

 

[rigsid]

I am glad <3
I hope it could calm your nerves a bit.
If you go then I would like you to go in the least painful way possible

Much love and know you are never alone in this

Honestly speaking it didn't because my mum was just abusive and I feel horrible, but i appreciate it.

 

[truehappiness]

Honestly speaking it didn't because my mum was just abusive and I feel horrible, but i appreciate it.

If you are in Germany I would offer to meet and give you a long hug ^^

This most likely won't be the case and I am obviously still a total stranger, so instead if you just need another soul to text, to vent to, just let me know <3

I know how it feels like
I know how terrible it all is
And I will ultimately exit myself

But as long as I am here I gladly would like to help in any way possible

 

[Matchaaa]

I hope you can find peace, free yourself from suffering, and achieve liberation.

 

[raemysteryO]

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this situation. Whatever you decide, I hope you find your peace

 

[ilovenewyork]

I'm 43 and I wish I could show you how life changes. Every 5 years or so almost everything changes. Sometimes for the better and sometimes not.
That's my experience, something to think about before downing meat tenderizer and hoping for nothingness.