mapleboy
sleepy...
- May 22, 2023
- 71
I was not friends with this person, I didn't even chat with them much. She (we'll call her P) messaged me out of the blue a little over a week ago. I had participated in a Zoom call hosted by another member here who CTB'd via SN and livestreamed it using that platform. People were curious about if anyone was able to join the Zoom, so I commented my recollection of the events that took place. P messaged me and asked if I could be there with her while she took her SN. We chatted a bit in call on Discord, she was a lovely woman from the UK. I have no other information about her, not even her name. She was in a lot of mental anguish and didn't want to be alone. P told me that she was contacted by someone on SaSu about purchasing SN, and that she had placed an order. She texted me updates when she tested it, and asked for assistance with the calculations.
P booked a hotel and started her regimen. We agreed to call on Discord today at 5 PM EST. She was very sleepy from the benzos she took. P did not have her camera on, but she was narrating what she was doing at the moment. Sounds from her actions could be heard as well. She prepared her SN drinks. She said she felt really calm, and was happy that I was there. P then started to drink the glass of SN, and commented about how salty it was. It wasn't too bad, I suggested she hold her nose while drinking so it. P described it as just swallowing a spoonful of salt. She had some chewing gum with her to help battle the aftertaste.
About 8 minutes after P ingested the SN, she was having trouble breathing. She was gasping for air, and said her pulse was becoming more rapid. I asked if she felt any pain, and she said no. A minute later, P started violently vomiting. This continued for a few more minutes. It sounded like she was having a seizure, and stopped responding entirely to me. Gurgling sounds could be heard, I think she was still either vomiting fluids, choking on them, or both. After about 5 minutes, it was dead silent. I called out to her, telling her that she was not alone and asking if she could hear me. No response.
As of right now, 6:23 PM EST, I'm still in the Discord call. I don't want to leave her alone. I only hope she's at peace. It sounded like an awful end. I feel really shaky. I'll have no choice but to leave the call soon, I have plans with my partner and friends this evening. I feel like this event is going to weigh heavily on my mind and heart for a long time. It was very out of character for me to agree to being present during a stranger's final moments, I do not wish to do that again. Please do not message me asking if I could do the same for you, it's such a heavy request. I still need time to process everything. I understand it's scary to be alone, that's why I agreed to P's request.
My heart goes out to P, her friends, and her family. I hope you found the peace you were looking for, even though your end was terrifying. Your final moments weren't spent alone.
P booked a hotel and started her regimen. We agreed to call on Discord today at 5 PM EST. She was very sleepy from the benzos she took. P did not have her camera on, but she was narrating what she was doing at the moment. Sounds from her actions could be heard as well. She prepared her SN drinks. She said she felt really calm, and was happy that I was there. P then started to drink the glass of SN, and commented about how salty it was. It wasn't too bad, I suggested she hold her nose while drinking so it. P described it as just swallowing a spoonful of salt. She had some chewing gum with her to help battle the aftertaste.
About 8 minutes after P ingested the SN, she was having trouble breathing. She was gasping for air, and said her pulse was becoming more rapid. I asked if she felt any pain, and she said no. A minute later, P started violently vomiting. This continued for a few more minutes. It sounded like she was having a seizure, and stopped responding entirely to me. Gurgling sounds could be heard, I think she was still either vomiting fluids, choking on them, or both. After about 5 minutes, it was dead silent. I called out to her, telling her that she was not alone and asking if she could hear me. No response.
As of right now, 6:23 PM EST, I'm still in the Discord call. I don't want to leave her alone. I only hope she's at peace. It sounded like an awful end. I feel really shaky. I'll have no choice but to leave the call soon, I have plans with my partner and friends this evening. I feel like this event is going to weigh heavily on my mind and heart for a long time. It was very out of character for me to agree to being present during a stranger's final moments, I do not wish to do that again. Please do not message me asking if I could do the same for you, it's such a heavy request. I still need time to process everything. I understand it's scary to be alone, that's why I agreed to P's request.
My heart goes out to P, her friends, and her family. I hope you found the peace you were looking for, even though your end was terrifying. Your final moments weren't spent alone.
hope she found the peace that eluded her in life.
