
slushy
Member
- Feb 19, 2022
- 89
Just thought I'd do a goodbye message. I've decided to delete my account. I watched the recent video covering this forum, and honestly, some of the points were good. Some points I definitely disagreed with, but I try to be an open minded person, and I'm ready to leave here. I've started to question the motivation of individuals here providing suicide instructions. I'm still suicidal, but I feel like this site won't be helpful to me, whether I decide to ctb or recover. I've been trying to access therapists for months, but none of them have been willing to see me thus far. I thought that on this forum there would be people who understand me and let me express how I was actually feeling, and assist me in ending my pain, but I see now that not all people here are necessarily comrades, but potential bad actors. Something that I suppose should have been obvious. My suspicion is confirmed that no one cares truly, only for themselves. Which I know wasn't the intended takeaway from the video, but it's what I feel inside.
I'm worried now, though, because this site was the only space I felt like I could truly express what I was feeling. I have friends, and I've discussed these things a bit with some of them, but I can tell right away that they don't understand, we aren't on the same page, and that I'm dragging them down with my negative talk. I've tried many different hotlines and I'm tired of reading through the same generic scripts each time. I don't know where I'll go now for support. But I see that this isn't the place I had imagined. I wonder if I'll get better or worse after leaving here. Time will tell
Wish you all the best
I'm worried now, though, because this site was the only space I felt like I could truly express what I was feeling. I have friends, and I've discussed these things a bit with some of them, but I can tell right away that they don't understand, we aren't on the same page, and that I'm dragging them down with my negative talk. I've tried many different hotlines and I'm tired of reading through the same generic scripts each time. I don't know where I'll go now for support. But I see that this isn't the place I had imagined. I wonder if I'll get better or worse after leaving here. Time will tell
Wish you all the best