Story Goodbye dear Lion84

[shallow]

Today Lion84 committed suicide successfully using SN.

Since 3 weeks I had contact with him. Got to know him as a good sweet man but who has been through too much. Life was not easy for him and had become a battle. Despite the help of the psychiatrist, it did not get any better. He was on a trajectory to get euthanasia in the Netherlands. But that did not progress.

Last week we had intense contact. He told me his whole life story. But despite his problems, he also helped me. Thanks forever friend.

His colleagues found him. He has served many people. Not only in the army but also as a police officer. A big heart that was ready for others. Until he needed it himself ..


13:06 made SN.
13:33 first sip. Tastes a little salty.
13:39 second sip. Feels side effects. 13:40 head feels light.
13:41 dare not drink the rest.
13:42 text more difficult. Lies in bed. 13:43 want to call me. Little confused. Rapid heartbeat and headache. Called
for 1:17 minutes.
13:48 indicates that things are going badly.
13:49 doubts if this is what he wants. Feels bad. Says he doesn't want this. 13:51 want to quit SN.
13:52 can no longer type.
13:55 called, moaning on the phone. Small reactions. After half a minute of silence on the phone. After another half a minute silence, I wish him a safe journey.
14:02 no reply to SMS. Ambulance called, information given about SN.
14:28 no reply to sms.
19:32 Police are calling. Only go to check now because of the incident room fault. 20:45 police are calling. Lion84 has been found dead.

I hope he found his peace. To rest forever was what he dreamed about. Bye my friend....

 

[Donk]

it only took 2 sips to ctb? wow. felt really bad that he realized after taking sn that he didnt want to ctb but it was too late. may peace be with him

 

[AcornUnderground]

I remember him getting harassed for his inert gas story a week or so ago. He was in a bad place physically. I'm sorry that it was so hard for him. Thank you for letting us know. A reminder that the PPH people are asking to collect information about play by play SN death, it is helpful for them to collect to be able to direct people to most peaceful methods. Perhaps you should send over his experience. Just a thought.

 

[BizarreBazaar]

When he indicated things were going badly what did he say? I'm curious if he was in pain.

 

[AcornUnderground]

Reminds me of this post when someone brought up the point that the correct amount of SN for your height/weight etc must be attended to:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ng-sodium-nitrite-as-quick-and-painless.1130/

 

[BizarreBazaar]

I hope he found his peace.

 

[TeenIdle]

May he rest in peace

 

[Indieblue]

I think i remember him. I am so sorry he regretted it until it is too late. Hope he is in better place.

 

[faust]

Sorry, I didn't understand this: "14:02 no reply to SMS. Ambulance called, information given about SN. " Who called an ambulance and why?

 

[Ghost2211]

I wonder if he regretted his decision to die or if he just had last moment SI and fear of unknown. It makes me sad to hear that his last moments were of fear or regret. I hope he is at peace now.

 

[Return2Dust]

Sorry, I didn't understand this: "14:02 no reply to SMS. Ambulance called, information given about SN. " Who called an ambulance and why?

I'm confused too. Who called the ambulance? They didn't come out when they were called? I hope he found peace.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I hope he is in a better place now ❤

RIP my friend x

 

[shallow]

I called the ambulance 'cause he didn't want to go through with the sn. I asked him 3 times to be sure.

The ambulance didn't go out straight away when I called. Big fault! A few hours to late :(.

When he indicated things were going badly what did he say? I'm curious if he was in pain.

That it was going badly...

 

[MsMaudlin]

OP are you OK? sounds like quite an ordeal for you to listen to.

Which country was this in?

I really hope his soul is at rest

❤

 

[issyishere]

idk why everyone is shocked you called an ambulance. he regretted it plain and simple and you were his friend and wanted to help. Im sorry he had to experience that before he left. I hope he finally got the peace he deserved.

 

[Dark days]

Such a sad story, thank you for sharing. I hope his soul is in a better place now RIP. I wonder why police took so long to respond?
How are you coping? Thoughts are with you.

Do you know which method he chose, did he take SN by itself? I'm shocked how quickly it all happened. I hope he wasn't in too much pain.

Is there a way on this site people can call/ sms each other, or do others exchange personal numbers?

 

[Jean Améry]

I called the ambulance 'cause he didn't want to go through with the sn. I asked him 3 times to be sure.

The ambulance didn't go out straight away when I called. Big fault! A few hours to late :(.



That it was going badly...

You did the right thing: if someone regrets what they did and want to live after all everything should be done to save their life. Regretably due to what seems like incompetence or irresponsibility on the part of the emergency services he couldn't be helped.

This is a rather tragic story. Thank you for your care and humanity. I hope this isn't too hard on you.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. It must be punishing for you. I hope he is beyond suffering now.

 

[autumnal]

Sorry you had to go through witnessing and intervening on a journey that wasn't as straightforward as many. Sounds like he would have progressed more quickly and peacefully, perhaps even without the change of heart, if he'd promptly taken the full recommended dosage to begin with

 

[Emily123]

it seems that it was not a very peacful CTB

 

[Myforevercharlie]

My thoughts are with you...

I hope Lion despite everything he went through in the end found love and light

 

[terry_a_davis]

I wonder if it was the pain the SN caused made him say "doesn't want this " or that he changed his mind on ctb? or both? whatever it's sad. at least he isn't suffering now. makes me more determined to use N if/when i ctb.

 

[Emily123]

I wonder if it was the pain the SN caused made him say "doesn't want this " or that he changed his mind on ctb? or both? whatever it's sad. at least he isn't suffering now. makes me more determined to use N if/when i ctb.

it was definitely because of pain . IT is the only reason that some one may regret CTB after starting it

 

[jimbob1000]

so sad, rip

 

[Roger]

Which country was this in?

All indications are Holland

 

[MsMaudlin]

This post has made me feel really sad, I wonder if he had an allergic reaction or something underlying?
❤

 

[AcornUnderground]

This post has made me feel really sad, I wonder if he had an allergic reaction or something underlying?
❤

I think he didn't drink enough.

 

[Dear Flabby]

This post has made me feel really sad, I wonder if he had an allergic reaction or something underlying?
❤

Sorry. Long post.
I wonder if the small amount ingested was enough to induce the panicky side effects and pain, without the unconsciousness?
Were pain meds and benzodiazepines taken?
The reason that all the extra meds are part of a protocol, and doses are recommended is to minimize suffering.
Sadly, it appears that Lion84 took SN only.
***Rant***
What is happening here?
People are dry swallowing SN and getting up/walking around. See "survived" thread.

People are sipping SN, with no comfort meds, and experiencing regret and pain.
We can't ask Lyin'84 what's going on, but I am starting to get suspicious about some of these posts.

1.Do research. The information is available.
It exists for a reason

2. Do not act on impulse. If you cannot wait to gather the correct supplies, you are acting on impulse.

3. BS posts, for whatever reason, hurt other people who may believe your story.

4. Go ahead and get as angry as you want. You have approximately 24 hours. The conflict that inevitably erupts is pointless, and will prevent:
People from getting support
People from doing proper research
People from connecting with friends here.

 

[shallow]

Lion has not taken any other medicines. The 3 weeks that I have spoken to him have been very hard for him. He had been in depression for some time. March 12, he said he would take SN the next day. He said this more often but in the end did not dare. Until Friday the 13th ... In the morning I sent a text because I hadn't heard anything since 5:00 PM the day before. The first message I received was at 1:00 pm that he had just woken up and had it ready. From this I can conclude that he has not taken any other medicines. Also because I knew he didn't have this. He said nothing about pain, only that the feeling is bad and that he had to lie down. We had no agreement that I would be there for him at the last minute. It feels heavy that I have heard this. Also feels like a trigger for me .. I also have SN at home but have set a date. Feel really bad today. Just keep thinking. It's also been 8 weeks since the love of my life died next to me. Don't know ..

 

[shallow]

It is now 4 days later. I notice that it still does a lot to me. Ultimately, despite doubting, this is what he wanted. Lion was going to commit suicide, the only question was when .... It is not my time yet but it is tempting.

I hold on!