Goodbye and Thank You SS!

[MissKatrina]

Everything is prepared, but I don't feel like I'm going to die today. I feel a mixture of sleepy and dreamlike as if today is a new day and new beginning. Reminds me of a quote from Harry Potter, "To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure". Wonder where this new adventure will lead me.

Thank you everyone. I came here when I was at my weakest, when I lost everyone I dearly loved in the midst of a pandemic, where getting support for myself was impossible. I was originally going to jump off a bridge, but you introduced me to Sodium Nitrite and for that I'm thankful.

My regimen (UK time)

Day 1- 25th
17.00 2 x 5mg Metoclopramide

Day 2- 26th
1.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
9.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
17.00 2 x 5mg Metoclopramide
18.00 1 x 15mg Mirtazipine
22.00 Fasting begins


Day 3- 27th
1.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
3.00ish 2 x Measure out 20g SN and add to a dry bottle
7.00 2 x 40mg propranolol
7.30 6 X 500/5mg of Paramax (Paracetamol and Metoclopramide)
7.45 x 150mg ranitidine
8.15 2 x Add 50ml water to each bottle
8:30 Drink

I've tried to mimic Stan's regimen. Last doses of meto are an hour closer in case I have to delay by an hour. 3g of Paracetamol is high, but not lethal and I'll be dead before feeling it's toxic effect. I ran out of meto due a previous aborted attempt at the regimen and I'm worried about excruciating headaches like I had in my last attempt (anaphylaxis overdose). The mirtazipine is my usual medicine which makes me sleep, so I took it earlier to wake up earlier. I regret this one as I still overslept and woke up at 7am so I had to change my regimen. Measuring out SN in advanced so that I can get a chance to throw it out and hide the utensils.

I tested the propranolol and it takes an hour and a half to kick in. The practice go with it gave me confusion so I'm laying out everything so that it's simple to follow through. Ranitidine has always worked 30-45 minutes for me so I'm hoping this time it has my back too. No side effects from Metoclopramide or Paramax.

Don't think I have anything else to add. I hope I follow this through and don't fall asleep. I'm still really sleepy and nothing more I'd love than to go back to sleep and wake up fresh. Lol. Kinda wish I had benzos to add them to the list. About to take the ranitidine now.

 

[Busdriver]

Sorry life was bad for you and that it comes down to this

It feels soothing to escape the prison of life. Soon all your suffering ends.

You can also back out if you feel too nervous. There is nothing to be ashamed of as this is the biggest decision you are about to take in life.

Goodluck and hope to join soon

 

[FriendofDeath]

Dear Miss Katrina, I haven't had the pleasure of seeing you here on the boards prior to this post, and now that I have, I wish it wasn't your last. You seem well organized and have a goal in mind. I'm sorry for all of your pain. I hope you find what you're looking for. Sending light and love!

 

[pete_x]

I'm sorry, I really didn't have a good punchline for the hotsauce bit. Either way you choose i wish you well.

 

[Living sucks]

So you're 45 mins out from SN?

i will send you a wish for peace

 

[theguineapigking]

Hello. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It must have been so hard to suffer to the point which you ctb.



Just remember that you can always back out if it doesn't feel like the 'right' time. We are here for you either way!

I really hope everything goes smoothly for you, should you attempt. May you find the peace you deserve.

 

[watereyes]

What brings me down the most, and pisses me off about not having SN, is that I wanted to off myself before seeing other members do it. It breaks my heart and I'm sorry. Wish you peace you deserve it.

 

[Notabadguy]

Everything is prepared, but I don't feel like I'm going to die today. I feel a mixture of sleepy and dreamlike as if today is a new day and new beginning. Reminds me of a quote from Harry Potter, "To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure". Wonder where this new adventure will lead me.

Thank you everyone. I came here when I was at my weakest, when I lost everyone I dearly loved in the midst of a pandemic, where getting support for myself was impossible. I was originally going to jump off a bridge, but you introduced me to Sodium Nitrite and for that I'm thankful.

My regimen (UK time)

Day 1- 25th
17.00 2 x 5mg Metoclopramide

Day 2- 26th
1.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
9.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
17.00 2 x 5mg Metoclopramide
18.00 1 x 15mg Mirtazipine
22.00 Fasting begins


Day 3- 27th
1.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
3.00ish 2 x Measure out 20g SN and add to a dry bottle
7.00 2 x 40mg propranolol
7.30 6 X 500/5mg of Paramax (Paracetamol and Metoclopramide)
7.45 x 150mg ranitidine
8.15 2 x Add 50ml water to each bottle
8:30 Drink

I've tried to mimic Stan's regimen. Last doses of meto are an hour closer in case I have to delay by an hour. 3g of Paracetamol is high, but not lethal and I'll be dead before feeling it's toxic effect. I ran out of meto due a previous aborted attempt at the regimen and I'm worried about excruciating headaches like I had in my last attempt (anaphylaxis overdose). The mirtazipine is my usual medicine which makes me sleep, so I took it earlier to wake up earlier. I regret this one as I still overslept and woke up at 7am so I had to change my regimen. Measuring out SN in advanced so that I can get a chance to throw it out and hide the utensils.

I tested the propranolol and it takes an hour and a half to kick in. The practice go with it gave me confusion so I'm laying out everything so that it's simple to follow through. Ranitidine has always worked 30-45 minutes for me so I'm hoping this time it has my back too. No side effects from Metoclopramide or Paramax.

Don't think I have anything else to add. I hope I follow this through and don't fall asleep. I'm still really sleepy and nothing more I'd love than to go back to sleep and wake up fresh. Lol. Kinda wish I had benzos to add them to the list. About to take the ranitidine now.

PN mixes the prop with the SN.

 

[x-Ace-x]

Oh dear, you seem very organized and ready by the look of your post. Wish you well should you wish to proceed

Sorry if I missed something about Propanolol but doesn't the PPH recommend taking 1g (1000mg) of it mixed with the SN / Water mixture? You took 2 x 40mg.



Anyway, safe travels

 

[lostangel]

Everything is prepared, but I don't feel like I'm going to die today. I feel a mixture of sleepy and dreamlike as if today is a new day and new beginning. Reminds me of a quote from Harry Potter, "To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure". Wonder where this new adventure will lead me.

Thank you everyone. I came here when I was at my weakest, when I lost everyone I dearly loved in the midst of a pandemic, where getting support for myself was impossible. I was originally going to jump off a bridge, but you introduced me to Sodium Nitrite and for that I'm thankful.

My regimen (UK time)

Day 1- 25th
17.00 2 x 5mg Metoclopramide

Day 2- 26th
1.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
9.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
17.00 2 x 5mg Metoclopramide
18.00 1 x 15mg Mirtazipine
22.00 Fasting begins


Day 3- 27th
1.00 2 X 5mg Metoclopramide
3.00ish 2 x Measure out 20g SN and add to a dry bottle
7.00 2 x 40mg propranolol
7.30 6 X 500/5mg of Paramax (Paracetamol and Metoclopramide)
7.45 x 150mg ranitidine
8.15 2 x Add 50ml water to each bottle
8:30 Drink

I've tried to mimic Stan's regimen. Last doses of meto are an hour closer in case I have to delay by an hour. 3g of Paracetamol is high, but not lethal and I'll be dead before feeling it's toxic effect. I ran out of meto due a previous aborted attempt at the regimen and I'm worried about excruciating headaches like I had in my last attempt (anaphylaxis overdose). The mirtazipine is my usual medicine which makes me sleep, so I took it earlier to wake up earlier. I regret this one as I still overslept and woke up at 7am so I had to change my regimen. Measuring out SN in advanced so that I can get a chance to throw it out and hide the utensils.

I tested the propranolol and it takes an hour and a half to kick in. The practice go with it gave me confusion so I'm laying out everything so that it's simple to follow through. Ranitidine has always worked 30-45 minutes for me so I'm hoping this time it has my back too. No side effects from Metoclopramide or Paramax.

Don't think I have anything else to add. I hope I follow this through and don't fall asleep. I'm still really sleepy and nothing more I'd love than to go back to sleep and wake up fresh. Lol. Kinda wish I had benzos to add them to the list. About to take the ranitidine now.

I hope you can be at peace!

 

[Fragile]

sorry to see that you are leaving, but I hope that you find peace and that everything goes smoothly.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish you peace.

 

[x-Ace-x]

How you feeling? Is everything alright? :)

 

[Smudgedlines]

How are you doing? 9.42 here UK time. With you.

 

[Meowkin]

It sounds like you've found peace. Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[Soul]

I shall miss you. (((Hug)))

 

[MissKatrina]

And now for the awkward reply. I fell asleep and just woke up after completing nearly the entire regimen (just missing out the drinking SN part) Around after posting I started getting a lot of confusion and hallucinations. I think it's the courtesy of the propranolol and exhaustion. What kept me alive were the huge goldfish I could see swimming in my SN. I could feel them, I could see them trying to jump out of my clear closed bottle. I wasn't going to drink it with fish inside, so I decided to wait until they left. Had some conversations with my mom who wasn't actually present and some with some dead people. Saw some other stuff I can't remember. Fell asleep. And we reached where I am now.

SN mixed with water still next to me. I recall it being good for a few hours but no idea what constitutes a few hours. I could continue my regimen. I'm very short of meto but I have everything else. Difficult decisions. My heads not feeling clear right now which doesn't help either

Oh dear, you seem very organized and ready by the look of your post. Wish you well should you wish to proceed

Sorry if I missed something about Propanolol but doesn't the PPH recommend taking 1g (1000mg) of it mixed with the SN / Water mixture? You took 2 x 40mg.

View attachment 35914

Anyway, safe travels

I don't agree with that. It takes 11/2 hour for propranolol to kick in. Doubt it'll work fast enough in the same drink. Second thing I took it to reduce heart palpitations, except it gave me hallucinations and confusion which really sucked. Wouldn't use a beta blocker again.

 

[watereyes]

@MissKatrina Please give it some time.. I don't know you, but I don't want you to make a decision you're gonna regret, since everything isn't going as planned. It's not my choice it's yours, but I'm just trying to give you some advice.

 

[x-Ace-x]

And now for the awkward reply. I fell asleep and just woke up after completing nearly the entire regimen (just missing out the drinking SN part) Around after posting I started getting a lot of confusion and hallucinations. I think it's the courtesy of the propranolol and exhaustion. What kept me alive were the huge goldfish I could see swimming in my SN. I could feel them, I could see them trying to jump out of my clear closed bottle. I wasn't going to drink it with fish inside, so I decided to wait until they left. Had some conversations with my mom who wasn't actually present and some with some dead people. Saw some other stuff I can't remember. Fell asleep. And we reached where I am now.

SN mixed with water still next to me. I recall it being good for a few hours but no idea what constitutes a few hours. I could continue my regimen. I'm very short of meto but I have everything else. Difficult decisions. My heads not feeling clear right now which doesn't help either


I don't agree with that. It takes 11/2 hour for propranolol to kick in. Doubt it'll work fast enough in the same drink. Second thing I took it to reduce heart palpitations, except it gave me hallucinations and confusion which really sucked. Wouldn't use a beta blocker again.

If you're feeling unsure, please give your thoughts more time. I think one should be 100% ready before drinking SN, at least that's my opinion.

Regarding Propanolol, I think dissolving it in water should increase the speed of it. Definitely not an expert about it, it's not a requirement and if it gives you additional adverse effects even with as low as 2 x 40mg, then it's probably the best to avoid it altogether. There was a thread about it recently.

Good luck

 

[Smudgedlines]

I had a feeling you had fallen asleep. Please take some time. You've been so organised and precise to this point. Maybe it's telling you to have a rethink.

 

[Brackenshire]

MissKatrina maybe wait a bit...maybe not meant to be today

 

[Amnesty]

Whatever occurs, may you find your peace.

 

[MeriDeath]

I'm sending you a big hug

 

[The Dark Chaos]

Sorryy life has come down to this. Good luck!
Sendingg love n hugs❤