AnxiouslyDepressed

AnxiouslyDepressed

Stuck- the guilt of leaving or the pain of staying
Nov 8, 2019
149
Just wondering if anyone else has hours, or even days, where they are wary/anxious of ctb?

Not sure if it's the anxiety kicking in, thinking of all the possible outcomes, and thinking of how hurt my mother would be etc.

Not sure if you can tell but I'm especially anxious right now, so would say this is just venting rather than a discussion.
 
SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
Until you are 100% at peace with your choice to CTB, do nothing.
 
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AnxiouslyDepressed

AnxiouslyDepressed

Stuck- the guilt of leaving or the pain of staying
Nov 8, 2019
149
Until you are 100% at peace with your choice to CTB, do nothing.

Thanks, that clears some things up.

However I feel like I'm as anxious as I am depressed, and not sure if I'll ever be fully at peace with ctb.

It's almost as if they are battling against each other, which put me into a deeper depressive state... which then cycles.

It is not like this all of the time, maybe only 1/10 of the time I wonder about the choices I'm making and how hurt my mother would be and how she would cope.

I can almost guarantee tomorrow morning I will be back to the way I was this morning, just wanting to ctb.
 
GreyMonkey

GreyMonkey

Heartbroken
Aug 20, 2019
277
I know how you feel.
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
This might help, might not.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/
 
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