Good bye.

[vascomorrow]

So I realized that I was just depressed, I dont want to die. I think a lot of things here are messed up. people are basically teaching others how to die, instead of trying to find a small glimmer of hope. But even a 6 year old ctb before, it's not that hard.

I thought about dying a lot, because my life is meaningless and im basically a failure. That lead me here in the first place. You name it ive done it, I even died before, and somebody tried to murder me as well. I also found my fiance as a CTB victim. She was blue in the face, eyes open, tongue sticking out with her jaws clenched tightly around her tongue. When I was on the phone with 911 I basically had to pry her jaws apart to try and breathe life into her. It was the worst day of my life. That traumatized me pretty hard, I still feel the affects from it 6 years later.

But I see value and hope to life, i basically sponsored a poor filipino family living in luzon (by sending them peso to enhance their life). That made me happy, I actually contributed to some random persons life. So I actually have some value, and I cling on to that.

I've watched all of the gory videos, I've had a gory life too, right from when I was a little kid. But do I want to end it all just because im suffering? In my opinion thats the pussy way out, ill just keep suffering because I still serve a purpose.

 

[tonicer]

That's really nice that you found a purpose. I hope i find one myself too some day before i kill myself. My time is slowly but surely running out and if i don't find purpose in the next 10 or so years my life is meaningless. I am however probably too traumatized for most things that could give me purpose so i am not sure i can actually find it.

 

[Redacted.Audio]

Find your path friend, I think it's a good idea for you to go with your gut and continue living. Life may be hard but, there's beauty in it. Have a good life, keep kickin

That's really nice that you found a purpose. I hope i find one myself too some day before i kill myself. My time is slowly but surely running out and if i don't find purpose in the next 10 or so years my life is meaningless. I am however probably too traumatized for most things that could give me purpose so i am not sure i can actually find it.

Even if you aren't sure you can find purpose, you should try. Find someone to live for, something to live for, a solid reason as to why existence is worth it for you. The only reason this many people are on this rock is because we find our reasons. As someone deeply traumatized, I feel for you. The reasons I've found are somewhat unhealthy, valuing myself off of what I can do for people, but it doesn't have to be like that for you. Find something you want to do, something you care about. I'm here to talk, much love

 

[SleeplessDreamer]

This isn't the only forum on the site man and even here we don't just tell people "It's hopeless just give up". Some people found their spark of hope, you did and that's genuinely awesome, but people are here because we are sick of the preachy bullshit just telling us it gets better. And yeah sure, it's "easy", but it's also easy as hell to fuck it up, then oops you're a vegetable stuck in purgatory for god knows how long, or you get put in a psy ward. Maybe it just can't get better for some people and they know that, but the fear is steal eating at them. Most here just want peace, to be happy, sure if someone is going to do it purely out of self hatred I wouldn't exactly be on board, along with many others that you can easily find, advising not to do something drastic on impulse. Though if someone is suffering and there isn't a way out for them, like say a debilitating disease, what gives me the right to tell them to keep pointlessly suffering? Anyways I'm glad for you dude, keep making the world a better place so that maybe one day, maybe we won't need a place like this. <3

 

[Redacted24]

I think it's awesome you're working through this in a more beneficial way. You do have value and you do offer a lot to the broader world community! You have the gift of perspective about just how dark life can be, how very close to the end you (and others) have gotten.

And you can share that with others, with empathy and kindness and understanding that few professionals can.

That's powerful, and please keep and use that well.

Sometimes people just need to be heard. Someone to listen with their heart.
Someone to believe in them.
I'm one person that came here to find my way to end my physical life.
The kindness and compassion and understanding of others here helped me realize that ending my life didn't need to mean in the physical sense, but rather in the life that I had: emotionally abused by a partner until I felt worthless and unwanted.

It took courage to start that hard process but I'm almost there - we don't live together anymore and her control over me is waning.

I'm glad you found your courage to persevere too!
And I'm sending all the best wishes as you depart for better future!

 

[vascomorrow]

This isn't the only forum on the site man and even here we don't just tell people "It's hopeless just give up". Some people found their spark of hope, you did and that's genuinely awesome, but people are here because we are sick of the preachy bullshit just telling us it gets better. And yeah sure, it's "easy", but it's also easy as hell to fuck it up, then oops you're a vegetable stuck in purgatory for god knows how long, or you get put in a psy ward. Maybe it just can't get better for some people and they know that, but the fear is steal eating at them. Most here just want peace, to be happy, sure if someone is going to do it purely out of self hatred I wouldn't exactly be on board, along with many others that you can easily find, advising not to do something drastic on impulse. Though if someone is suffering and there isn't a way out for them, like say a debilitating disease, what gives me the right to tell them to keep pointlessly suffering? Anyways I'm glad for you dude, keep making the world a better place so that maybe one day, maybe we won't need a place like this. <3

I think people here and myself included find comfort in knowing we are not alone. We have issues and it brought us here, so we can all relate with that .

I think it's awesome you're working through this in a more beneficial way. You do have value and you do offer a lot to the broader world community! You have the gift of perspective about just how dark life can be, how very close to the end you (and others) have gotten.

And you can share that with others, with empathy and kindness and understanding that few professionals can.

That's powerful, and please keep and use that well.

Sometimes people just need to be heard. Someone to listen with their heart.
Someone to believe in them.
I'm one person that came here to find my way to end my physical life.
The kindness and compassion and understanding of others here helped me realize that ending my life didn't need to mean in the physical sense, but rather in the life that I had: emotionally abused by a partner until I felt worthless and unwanted.

It took courage to start that hard process but I'm almost there - we don't live together anymore and her control over me is waning.

I'm glad you found your courage to persevere too!
And I'm sending all the best wishes as you depart for better future!

Your words make me want to cry to be honest.

 

[Kalista]

I think a lot of things here are messed up. people are basically teaching others how to die, instead of trying to find a small glimmer of hope. But even a 6 year old ctb before, it's not that hard.

you're saying some extremely ignorant shit right here. just because you 'found your value' and that gave you enough reason to continue living does not mean others will find and/or feel the fucking same.

part of the reason others share methods on how to die and find sources is because they want/need it and they're not able to find information elsewhere without succeeding and damaging their bodies due to poor planning.
do you even know what the fuck is going on with each person's lives? you have zero authority on what they want or need to do with their own lives.

a 6-year old can do it so it's not that hard?
that's a stupid ass argument. by that logic, everything that's been ever done is 'not hard.' you're taking an 'extreme' case and pretending it proves a rule. it doesn't. something tells me you never tried to kill yourself directly, intentionally, but rather use your unplanned near-death experiences as arguments to backup your shit claim.

I've watched all of the gory videos, I've had a gory life too, right from when I was a little kid. But do I want to end it all just because im suffering? In my opinion thats the pussy way out, ill just keep suffering because I still serve a purpose.

calling it a 'pussy way out' ignores the reality. people have different thresholds and that's an absolute fact. thinking your threshold is the universal standard is just more ignorance on your side. measuring your suffering and comparing it side-by-side with others is pure stupidity. your experiences are your own, not everyone else's. this is more of "if i can do it, so can you!" bullshit.
and since you're using the word 'pussy' here, it shows how hard you're trying to be masculine in a toxic manner, which is completely fucking irrelevant to someone needing to die.

 

[U. A.]

you're saying some extremely ignorant shit right here. just because you 'found your value' and that gave you enough reason to continue living does not mean others will find and/or feel the fucking same.

part of the reason others share methods on how to die and find sources is because they want/need it and they're not able to find information elsewhere without succeeding and damaging their bodies due to poor planning.
do you even know what the fuck is going on with each person's lives? you have zero authority on what they want or need to do with their own lives.

a 6-year old can do it so it's not that hard?
that's a stupid ass argument. by that logic, everything that's been ever done is 'not hard.' you're taking an 'extreme' case and pretending it proves a rule. it doesn't. something tells me you never tried to kill yourself directly, intentionally, but rather use your unplanned near-death experiences as arguments to backup your shit claim.


calling it a 'pussy way out' ignores the reality. people have different thresholds and that's an absolute fact. thinking your threshold is the universal standard is just more ignorance on your side. measuring your suffering and comparing it side-by-side with others is pure stupidity. your experiences are your own, not everyone else's. this is more of "if i can do it, so can you!" bullshit.
and since you're using the word 'pussy' here, it shows how hard you're trying to be masculine in a toxic manner, which is completely fucking irrelevant to someone needing to die.

Why the fuck are you being like this to someone posting on the Recovery board? Aside from the shitty misogynist term, this person is just giving an account of overcoming what sounds like some pretty rough shit. Chill out

 

[darksouls]

good luck, I wish you the best

 

[Kalista]

Why the fuck are you being like this to someone posting on the Recovery board? Aside from the shitty misogynist term, this person is just giving an account of overcoming what sounds like some pretty rough shit. Chill out

because stupid ignorant shit like this needs to be called out regardless of where it's posted. the recovery section isn't all about sunshine and rainbows.

and your categorization of his experience being 'pretty rough shit' is exactly related to the measurement of suffering that i'm calling out. he has experienced things people normally wouldn't, so this gives his life a level severity compared to what others are experiencing? he's explicitly comparing his situation to others to justify his reasoning which doesn't work in that way, AT ALL.
just because he experienced all doesn't excuse the ignorant shit he's spewing out -- and no, that's not only the misogynistic comment he made. you'd be damn blind to see what's wrong with his post or just plain in denial. it seems everything else is ignored just the fact that he 'successfully recovered' while making ignorant comments on the way out. that's not something to ever dismiss regardless of the situation and he needs to be called out on it.