lama
Member
- Mar 14, 2025
- 22
My SN will arrive by Monday. I have decided to meet my closest friends in the next few days. There is no purpose for this thread. I just wanted to write something. This week seems to be the longest week of my life. Time isn't going fast enough. Every single second, every moment feels like eternity. But nevermind, it's just one week. My friends are some of the best, loving, funny and caring sweethearts I have ever met. After I became an adult, they are the only people who have seen me cry. They never judged me, never complained and gave me nothing but love, affection and comfort. The only regret I have about CTB is that I will be hurting them and my family. If it weren't for my boys, I would have done this a long time ago. Once, I was feeling like ending it all and I sent one of my boys a message saying I wanted to end my life. It was midnight. He replied immediately and the first thing he told me was to not do it and to think about them. I broke down immediately. We talked for a long time and the next day I felt hopeful. But then few days later, here I am, more sure of my decision than ever before. And then my other bestfriend. I am going to meet her after a very very long time. She has a bunch of interviews to give. She has been busy. But she told me she would meet me tomorrow. She stayed by my side for so long and I appreciate her so much I can't even put it in words. I hope she will forgive me for what I am about to do. I know there are people who care about me, but it's just too much. I am tired and I see no option but to CTB. Thank you all. I hope you all find peace, if not in life then atleast beyond it.
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