Going to CTB today and feel like venting so here goes nothing:
My entire life I have had a narcissistic abusive father. When my parents divorced, half the time I would be "happy" and half the time I would be suicidal and wanting to run away. Because of my dad I developed extreme depression and anxiety. Over a long stay w/him as a teenager, I could not eat due to the stress and also became somewhat anorexic. Once I was severely underweight I went into hospital treatment, and soon left and continued the program at home. That's where I met my dietitian, another major narcissist. She gaslighted me (lying about my weight when I could clearly see the #), ignored the advice of actual doctors, told me that everything was my fault, treated other patients better/differently, tried to guilt trip me (on more than one occasion), and lied to my mother outright. Medical professionals refused to deal with my lack of coping abilities (why I turned to self harm) or other underlying mental issues. I somehow recovered, but after losing a couple of pounds after being sick with a stomach flu and COVID, was forced to lose all control yet again. My self harm has become worse, my mother swears and screams at me every night, I see the dietitian 3 or more times a week and my only joy in life is when I am not home. I thought I could try to make it through as I am happy (or a little happier) when I am without my family, but I don't believe that I can handle it anymore…
My entire life I have had a narcissistic abusive father. When my parents divorced, half the time I would be "happy" and half the time I would be suicidal and wanting to run away. Because of my dad I developed extreme depression and anxiety. Over a long stay w/him as a teenager, I could not eat due to the stress and also became somewhat anorexic. Once I was severely underweight I went into hospital treatment, and soon left and continued the program at home. That's where I met my dietitian, another major narcissist. She gaslighted me (lying about my weight when I could clearly see the #), ignored the advice of actual doctors, told me that everything was my fault, treated other patients better/differently, tried to guilt trip me (on more than one occasion), and lied to my mother outright. Medical professionals refused to deal with my lack of coping abilities (why I turned to self harm) or other underlying mental issues. I somehow recovered, but after losing a couple of pounds after being sick with a stomach flu and COVID, was forced to lose all control yet again. My self harm has become worse, my mother swears and screams at me every night, I see the dietitian 3 or more times a week and my only joy in life is when I am not home. I thought I could try to make it through as I am happy (or a little happier) when I am without my family, but I don't believe that I can handle it anymore…
