Going to hospital makes me feel free

[Seaghost]

...no no...not the psychatric ward or such things

Need to go there for detaild diagnosis of fibromyalgia and psoriatic arthritis at 18th may.
And I will get an appointment for MRT.

Lately I got so much pain by my spine, neck and hip that I think by myself maybe they'll find a tumor so it would be much easier to get a "date" by dignitas.
I'm excited .

Oh and when that won't work there is this new toy called Rebreather 2.
I read 'bout it this morning on SS.
Wonderful thing. That should be makeable even with my budget .

It may sound strange but that gives me such an incredible satysfying feeling.
weired...really weired but good.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I'm glad you're feeling better somehow.

As for me, I think having N or SN with me would really give me peace! (and probably lots of anxiety but I would still be happy and satisfied lol)

 

[FuneralCry]

I know what you mean, if I had access to an peaceful method I would feel so much more relaxed. It's like the burden of living is lifted off you. I wish you the best, it is my dream to get assisted dying only it isn't even legal in my country.

 

[hahabye]

I felt the same way a few months ago. I have a bunch of lymph nodes all over my body for a few years now. And I found new ones, in my armpits. "Ooh, this MUST be cancer this time!", I thought excitedly. Unfortunately, the bloodwork did not indicate there was anything wrong with me.

I was honestly devastated when I found out. I know this sounds crazy, especially to people who have experienced cancer. But to me, it just seemed like an easy "get away" card. I would not break my family's and friends' hearts by taking my own life.

I hope you feel better once you get your diagnosis.

 

[Seaghost]

Thx so much guys.

Its not easy to get some peace in this Life-Freakshow.

 

[bad_luck]

I think I understand. My biggest (realistic) dream is being hospitalized for a terminal disease. Wish there was a way of giving myself cancer lol

 

[Seaghost]

That wasnt worth the time.
"Go to a rheumatologist and get an mrt.
Would take six months if you do that screening in here"
Said the doc and prescribed me some creme.

Just needless and exhausting