Going to CTB in a few weeks

[neren]

Hello all. Long time lurker. I've been contemplating suicide for the last 15 years or so. No matter how hard I work at something it eventually turns to shit. It has been with case with careers, relationships, etc.. The details in that regard don't matter. I'm done with putting on a brave face and pretending I'm happy. I'm ready to go.

My first and hopefully successful attempt will be SN. I don't have access to antiemetics but can prepare multiple doses if I vomit. If that doesn't work, then the exit bag with nitrogen. 3rd and final method will be constructing a "survival shotgun" out of pipes from the hardware store. I can see myself drinking the SN. Would be harder with the bag (thinking of how I would be found). The last resort is the shotgun.

I am contemplating what i will write in my note. How I want "the person it will be directed to" to feel when they read it. It will take me a few weeks to tie up some loose ends so my family doesn't have to do a bunch of work to sell off stuff after I go.

 

[NodusTollens]

I can appreciate how you're feeling, 15 years is a long time to think about CTB. Sorry things have reached this point. It sounds like you've thought this out well, so I hope things work out in your favour.

If you ever need to chat we're always here, I hope your journey is peaceful.

Wishing you the best.

 

[neren]

I can appreciate how you're feeling, 15 years is a long time to think about CTB. Sorry things have reached this point. It sounds like you've thought this out well, so I hope things work out in your favour.

If you ever need to chat we're always here, I hope your journey is peaceful.

Wishing you the best.

Thanks. This community is so nice and understanding. I have seen a few people on here ctb (confirmed and not) and it's sad and happy at the same time.

 

[NodusTollens]

Mhmm, it's bittersweet.

It's always sad to see someone go- but understanding their pain & their individual stories... I can't help but feel compassionate towards everyone's reason for being here & if it happens, their departure.

 

[neren]

Ordered my SN, meto, and pro. Just looking for a decent anxiety or sedative that I can get in the US

 

[neren]

I think that I will switch up my method and go straight to building a shotgun. It's going to take too long for the sn, meto, and pro to get here and I'd rather it be more impulsive than planned. The rate of success is higher with a gun as well.

 

[neren]

Acquired the supplies today. Only few dollars at the hardware store. It's super easy. Pretty incognito too.

 

[aminend]

Hello all. Long time lurker. I've been contemplating suicide for the last 15 years or so. No matter how hard I work at something it eventually turns to shit. It has been with case with careers, relationships, etc.. The details in that regard don't matter. I'm done with putting on a brave face and pretending I'm happy. I'm ready to go.

My first and hopefully successful attempt will be SN. I don't have access to antiemetics but can prepare multiple doses if I vomit. If that doesn't work, then the exit bag with nitrogen. 3rd and final method will be constructing a "survival shotgun" out of pipes from the hardware store. I can see myself drinking the SN. Would be harder with the bag (thinking of how I would be found). The last resort is the shotgun.

I am contemplating what i will write in my note. How I want "the person it will be directed to" to feel when they read it. It will take me a few weeks to tie up some loose ends so my family doesn't have to do a bunch of work to sell off stuff after I go.

Same condition. I'm close to ctb by SN.