going through a whirlwind of emotions right now but also nothing in a weirdly pleasant way for once

[bye-bye-pancakes]

it's a mix of not feeling anything at all sometimes and then feeling a lot of anxiety, regret, a whole cocktail of shiftiness, then then nothing. it has been definitely better lately but today, something I kind of don't feel like recalling (although it's not like it matters much anyways) made me spiral again and I'm beginning to remember how it felt like before. I decided to finally make an account here after browsing a bit, and honestly, it feels better. People can relate to each other, and it's actually kind of nice here. It's really ironic that a website I went to to CTB ended up making it more bearable to stay a little longer because for once, I actually get what is meant by "you are not alone". Plus, it's nice to be able to blow off steam here. I really needed and need that. I'm grateful to ss and I've barely spent that much time here. (This got more and more off topic quick, but overall, a lot of emotions right now. I'll think about everything else later.)

 

[damaged_soul]

Yes I love the SS forum, it makes me feel better because it's the only place where I can connect to people who truly understand me and don't stay stupid shit like "it will get better"