Story Going of my meds when I feel unworthy

[TiGz]

hi guys

I have this stupid tendency to stop taking my meds when I feel unworthy and pathetic, because I don't deserve to feel good and be happy. I feel I deserve to die, because it would make things better for everyone around me. But the meds prevent me from going suicidal and that's why I stop taking it. Can anyone relate or can anyone tell me why I become this stupid?

 

[GoBack]

Yeah it's not stupid, just another mind trick on yourself. I have it too with not eating, or doing much nice for myself, just makes it worse all around

 

[TheGoodGuy]

So the meds work on your suicidal thoughts but when you feel unworthy or pathetic as you put it you don´t feel you deserve happiness why is that? In your mind why are you unworthy and pathetic? And I am sure you are not stupid for feeling this way but there is a reason for you feel as you do maybe we can find out?

 

[SpottedPanda]

I've stopped taking my meds multiple times, and it always leads to disaster. In hindsight I see it as dumb, but at the time I think it's a novel way to feel like a new person

 

[Kumachan]

hi guys

I have this stupid tendency to stop taking my meds when I feel unworthy and pathetic, because I don't deserve to feel good and be happy. I feel I deserve to die, because it would make things better for everyone around me. But the meds prevent me from going suicidal and that's why I stop taking it. Can anyone relate or can anyone tell me why I become this stupid?

This is wrong man, "i deserve to die" shit i mean. You being way too hard on yourself. You think you dont deserve to be happy? Why?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I see lots of labeling and condemnation in the OP. It's hard to heal or feel okay in a place of condemnation. It says, "You're not enough," and when that fails, it might step it up and say, "Who do you think you are?"

You're enough. You make mistakes -- since you're human, it's impossible not to, and being human is enough, you certainly can't be anything different from what you are! You may have some negative labels for that.

I don't think you become stupid, so I can't tell you why in the first place. I think you just use a lot of adjectives, so maybe instead of saying you did something stupid, try saying, I did something. Just that and nothing more, without any judgment.

Those are just my thoughts, no pressure for you to agree or take on anything that doesn't serve you.

Edit: I didn't mean to minimize you or your problems! I was looking at the writing and viewing it from a perspective of constructive criticism. It's how I function as a writer and a student of semiotics -- how we make meaning using language, and the kind of power it has. I was trying to see how you could be empowered, as it seems like language is having an effect of disempowering you.