Venting Giving up on love

[hxtel]

I'm just exhausted and so beaten up at this point from rejection and feeling like the outcast in every situation/place I am. I will never find another gf that loves me, I'll never know what it's like to be wanted again. I'll never be attractive to anyone. But I guess it's time to just say fuck it and give up on that pretty dream I had of finding love. Just another dude who's gonna live and die alone. So fuck it i guess I will just have to clench my teeth and bare the pain and hope one day it doesn't make me feel so fucking bad.
End of rant.

 

[Darkover]

It is because you are attached to the idea that you belong in a romantic relationship.
You are attached to the idea that, even if you are content, having a partner would elevate your happiness.
You are attached to the idea that without a partner your life isn't as good as it can be.
Those things might be true sometimes, but not all the time.
expect nothing and you will never be disappointed

 

[davidtorez]

Maybe lower your standards and you might have better luck? That's what I did, I now have a gf that I would have never found attractive 10 years ago, have nothing in common, physically unattractive too, but Better than being alone (for the time being anyway ).

 

[astr4]

disagree with previous poster; don't lower your standards, that's how you end up with someone you secretly hate. just learn to be comfortable with being alone. romantic love is not the be all end all and it certainly won't be the solution to suicidal thoughts.

idk if i "gave up on love" but i certainly don't go out of my way to look for it. dating apps and such are useless anyways, no one is looking to love, they're just looking to be loved.

besides being alone is better than someone who's shallow and only with you cause you're attractive and nice lol. or i guess for men it's better than dating someone who's with you for money and emotional support.

idk i know this is marked venting but my personal coping mechanism for that crippling feeling of loneliness is just. idk really digging into it. believing i'm better off alone cause other people are selfish anyways. i think it feels a lot better than feeling miserable about it but just my 2 cents. feeling miserable is valid too, loneliness is hard to deal with.

 

[hxtel]

disagree with previous poster; don't lower your standards, that's how you end up with someone you secretly hate. just learn to be comfortable with being alone. romantic love is not the be all end all and it certainly won't be the solution to suicidal thoughts.

idk if i "gave up on love" but i certainly don't go out of my way to look for it. dating apps and such are useless anyways, no one is looking to love, they're just looking to be loved.

besides being alone is better than someone who's shallow and only with you cause you're attractive and nice lol. or i guess for men it's better than dating someone who's with you for money and emotional support.

idk i know this is marked venting but my personal coping mechanism for that crippling feeling of loneliness is just. idk really digging into it. believing i'm better off alone cause other people are selfish anyways. i think it feels a lot better than feeling miserable about it but just my 2 cents. feeling miserable is valid too, loneliness is hard to deal with.

How do u deal with the human need for intimacy and Affection and i dont mean just sexual stuff I mean cuddles and kisses and feeling someone close.

 

[astr4]

How do u deal with the human need for intimacy and Affection and i dont mean just sexual stuff I mean cuddles and kisses and feeling someone close.

uhhhh idk i read a lot of romance novels so like that's... better than anything i could get irl. i play a lot of otome games too uh

idk i guess i've always been a little touch adverse

cuddles are cool n all but u dont need like a gf for that u can just look for hookups idk if ur into that

i'm also a big hugger so just idk hugging friends and stuff too

 

[hxtel]

uhhhh idk i read a lot of romance novels so like that's... better than anything i could get irl. i play a lot of otome games too uh

idk i guess i've always been a little touch adverse

cuddles are cool n all but u dont need like a gf for that u can just look for hookups idk if ur into that

i'm also a big hugger so just idk hugging friends and stuff too

Ive never hooked up with someone before I've only ever had sex within relationships so I wouldn't even know where to begin w that lol. I literally had a dream the other night of just holding a girls hand and it felt so lovely. I'm fucking 24 having dreams about holding hands lmaooo

 

[Terios]

I think "love" as we want it is pretty much dead, even if you're attractive there's no point in it anymore: tons of cheating (with emotional and physical) and nobody's willing to be patient to work things out.

I really think that having a successful marriage is the most beautiful thing in life, but at this point you'd have to get very lucky. I think as long as you're not missing a particular someone that meant so much to you and you cannot get over then loneliness can be managed. It's not ideal but being alone is definitely much better than being with someone who'll probably end up making you feel even worse...which seems to be almost the status quo these days.

 

[Hunterer]

Well, you at least got lucky enough to find someone, unlike me. I've never found anyone in real life, and I'm not even going to, and that frustrates me and I don't care what others say, that's one of my main and strongest reasons why I'll go to ctb at some point. And the desire increases in certain situations.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

How do u deal with the human need for intimacy and Affection and i dont mean just sexual stuff I mean cuddles and kisses and feeling someone close.

I don't have any need for intimacy and affection, cuddles, kisses and feeling someone close.

I don't have any need for love, friends, nor any kind of relationship with a human

 

[AceVendetta7500]

My fiancé left in April and now I am planning to CTB. It really sucks because I was perfectly ok with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life before we started dating. Things were going fine right up until we got engaged then I completely fell apart. Became depressed, lashed out a bunch. In the end I couldn't get out of bed for anything other than my awful job. She packed up her car while I was at work and left right when I got home. After she left she told me about all these major problems she was having with the relationship the whole time we were together. I have no idea why she didn't bring them up before leaving or when I asked her to marry me. Ultimately it's entirely my fault it ended. I ended up getting an amazing job after she left, but that just seems to make me feel worse. If I had gotten the job like 3 months earlier, she would still be here. I had some hope that she would come back, but I scared her off with my begging and insane behavior. Now the only thing I look forward to is CTB.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Maybe lower your standards and you might have better luck? That's what I did, I now have a gf that I would have never found attractive 10 years ago, have nothing in common, physically unattractive too, but Better than being alone (for the time being anyway ).

So you think she's not attractive and you have nothing to talk about?


No thanks. I'm alone since 5 years, and yes it fucking sucks!
But I prefer to be alone then to be with someone who's only with me because ' it's better then being alone "

Being alone sucks! But you get used to it.

Dear OP, please don't just settle for someone.
Invest time in yourself, there are so much possibilities.

 

[escape_from_hell]

I developed debilitating chronic psychosomatic pain and anhedonia after I nuked my long term relationship love of my life. With these things you rarely have a clear view of what's real until it's done with.

Two long-term relationships before that did not have the effect because they were awful to me.

But prior to finding a good relationship being alone was more acceptable.
Now my body and mind punish me relentlessly no matter how much I chant mantras like "don't need anyone, just joy within that's all!"
And I'm extremely introverted, but years of covid isolation and it's difficult to speak at all, borderline mute in real-life and people hate a boring person.

I am old however (40s) and you are very young so you may be able to turn the boat around or embrace loneliness.
I'd give anything to be a 'disgusting loser' who can enjoy the shit out of lounging at my place playing a video game ordering a pizza being a lazy homebody. But I literally CANNOT anymore so if you have that ability do not take it for granted!

 

[AllAlone]

I have also given up on not being alone. I desperately want someone in my life but I have accepted that it's not possible for me. I am a worthless fucked up person nobody would ever like me. Honestly, I feel like such a bad person for wanting human connection. Any feelings I have for someone will be unreciprocated. Any interest I express in someone is creepy and will make them uncomfortable. Mentally I know that the right thing for me to do is to leave people alone and not bother them with my existence but I just feel so lonely. What I know is right and how I feel are at odds and I hate myself for it.

 

[AceVendetta7500]

I developed debilitating chronic psychosomatic pain and anhedonia after I nuked my long term relationship love of my life. With these things you rarely have a clear view of what's real until it's done with.

Two long-term relationships before that did not have the effect because they were awful to me.

But prior to finding a good relationship being alone was more acceptable.
Now my body and mind punish me relentlessly no matter how much I chant mantras like "don't need anyone, just joy within that's all!"
And I'm extremely introverted, but years of covid isolation and it's difficult to speak at all, borderline mute in real-life and people hate a boring person.

I am old however (40s) and you are very young so you may be able to turn the boat around or embrace loneliness.
I'd give anything to be a 'disgusting loser' who can enjoy the shit out of lounging at my place playing a video game ordering a pizza being a lazy homebody. But I literally CANNOT anymore so if you have that ability do not take it for granted!

Are you planning to CTB or are you just going to ride it out?

 

[escape_from_hell]

Are you planning to CTB or are you just going to ride it out?

You know how the mind/survival drive can be...
"She could still come back"
"Just do more exercise and stretching the pain will go away"
etc.
Also the comfort of setting the intention makes you feel you're getting better when it was just relief the hell would end.
But tentatively 1 year from last contact.

 

[AceVendetta7500]

You know how the mind/survival drive can be...
"She could still come back"
"Just do more exercise and stretching the pain will go away"
etc.
Also the comfort of setting the intention makes you feel you're getting better when it was just relief the hell would end.
But tentatively 1 year from last contact.

Yes I know that feeling exactly. I have this tiny bit of hope that things will all work out and she will come back.

Also I know the feeling of the relief once you set the intention. It's the only thing I can get excited for. I was planning on doing it at the end of August, but maybe I'll give it a year of no contact to see what happens. That just seems like so long to be in this much pain, but I'm getting more used to just existing in misery so it might be possible. Thanks.

 

[F@#$]

I'm just exhausted and so beaten up at this point from rejection and feeling like the outcast in every situation/place I am. I will never find another gf that loves me, I'll never know what it's like to be wanted again. I'll never be attractive to anyone. But I guess it's time to just say fuck it and give up on that pretty dream I had of finding love. Just another dude who's gonna live and die alone. So fuck it i guess I will just have to clench my teeth and bare the pain and hope one day it doesn't make me feel so fucking bad.
End of rant.

Love is a lie, nothing will hurt you more.

 

[Proteus]

Maybe lower your standards and you might have better luck? That's what I did, I now have a gf that I would have never found attractive 10 years ago, have nothing in common, physically unattractive too, but Better than being alone (for the time being anyway ).

Poor fucking girl.

Better than being alone for the time being. Lmfao. Alright dude. This man's a walking red flag.

Being alone sucks! But you get used to it.

No, it doesn't suck. Being alone can be genuinely great. It unlocks time and things I can't really do with people. It's about finding the fortes of a situation that aren't present elsewhere, and exploiting them. Even the hardest thing becomes easier.

I've been alone since the pandemic and never found such peace, even with loved ones. Maybe I'm a natural, but I don't miss how things used to be lol. I don't mean it as cope, it's fantastic if you have something to fully dedicate yourself to.

idk i know this is marked venting but my personal coping mechanism for that crippling feeling of loneliness is just. idk really digging into it. believing i'm better off alone cause other people are selfish anyways.

Nah girl, you're right. It's much healthier to depend on yourself than on something out your control.

 

[davidtorez]

So you think she's not attractive and you have nothing to talk about?


No thanks. I'm alone since 5 years, and yes it fucking sucks!
But I prefer to be alone then to be with someone who's only with me because ' it's better then being alone "

Being alone sucks! But you get used to it.

Dear OP, please don't just settle for someone.
Invest time in yourself, there are so much possibilities.

To each their own I guess . I didn't say we have nothing to talk about but we just don't enjoy the same type of activities and so forth. But she had a good personality and is kind and understanding. So it's not all negative

Poor fucking girl.

Better than being alone for the time being. Lmfao. Alright dude. This man's a walking red flag.


No, it doesn't suck. Being alone can be genuinely great. It unlocks time and things I can't really do with people. It's about finding the fortes of a situation that aren't present elsewhere, and exploiting them. Even the hardest thing becomes easier.

I've been alone since the pandemic and never found such peace, even with loved ones. Maybe I'm a natural, but I don't miss how things used to be lol. I don't mean it as cope, it's fantastic if you have something to fully dedicate yourself to.


Nah girl, you're right. It's much healthier to depend on yourself than on something out your control.

Things are only good for as long as they last .

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't have any need for intimacy and affection, cuddles, kisses and feeling someone close.

I don't have any need for love, friends, nor any kind of relationship with a human

Same. Being loved by another human won't do anything for me. Will being loved stop the chances of us acquiring excruciating, extreme pain? No. Will being loved fix the world and its inherent exploitation? No. Will being love eradicate all types of suffering entirely that I can experience? No. Will being loved stop wage slavery from happening? No. I think that you get the point. I also just don't desire love at all