Venting Given up on therapy

[Ijustcantanymore]

I don't need replies or advice. Feel free to do so anyway, but I probably won't reply. I just need to get shit out of my head so that I can avoid doing something stupid or illegal. The way things are going in my country, I'll either be dead by suicide or by government policy in a year or two. Same with my partner and friend. And we'll be forgotten as if we never existed in the first place, so really, trying to offer comfort or advice to me is a waste of time and compassion.


After 28 years, I have finally decided that I have nothing to gain from it. I've been at it for most of my life and I'm actually worse off today me tal health wise than I've ever been in n my life before.

I have comorbid conditions that play really well together and have created an extremely treatment resistant hellscape that I exist in.

It's clear to me now that conventional treatment is just not going to work for me. Even all meds do is reduce the symptoms. And even then, a lot of the time my symptoms are stronger than the meds.

I had just started seeing a new therapist after having been on the fence about continuing therapy. And at first it seemed like we'd be a good fit.

Until he started to tell me to not believe my own eyes. I am deeply affected by what's happening in my country politically. It's really impacting my mental health because the fate of me and my family is literally being decided by other people.

He's trying to convince me not to believe the threats coming from the people are who are doing the threatening (the government) and and are telling me that they have every intention of following through.

And it occured to me. If my therapist can't even acknowledge reality and see what is happening right in front of his stupid human face, then there is no way in hell he can help me cope with reality. Which I've already acknowledged.

There's just no point. Because I have nothing to gain. Therapy is there to help you be a cog in the machine. And that is the complete opposite of what I want.

And I see that people are disappointed in my decision. But I look at them with confusion because after almost 30 years of no improvement, I think I'm well within my rights to determine that it cannot help me.

And that I'm just going to have to accept all the bad things that are going to still happen to me and my family.

In the coming days, people like me and my family (poor, disabled, not straight), will be eliminated and be considered by those of you that survive as "acceptable losses" or "collateral damage". I accept that. I'm just not handling it well. And therapists are just part of the problem now.

All I want to do is leave and society wants to make that a punishing experience because the rest of them feel forced to stay. So if they have to suffer in life. I have to suffer in the way out.

Sigh. The needless, yet endlessly enjoyed cruelty of humanity.

 

[pauly369]

Most people cant face the reality that the world is run by a bunch of psycopaths called the Government, and the therapist sounds like one of those people who is afraid of the reality of this fucked - up world.
Most therapists are just trained monkeys anyway who are just reading off a script.
They are only in it for the money and couldnt give a fuck about other peoples feelings.
Ive been mentally ill since aged 8 and have tried everything as regards meds and therapy but nothing works.
I honestly think that in a lot of cases its not our minds that are the problem, the real problem is the fact that we have to survive in a world filled with psycopathic rulers who have forced us all to exist in a dreadfully oppressive and dystopian system of reality

 

[CTB_random]

Yeah the government really sucks but it always has tbh I hope that nothing happens to you and your family

 

[leloyon]

The mental health system is utterly useless, especially when it comes to having been victimised by the government. As I know all too well, unfortunately.
Also nice profile pics in this thread, free my lad.