Discussion Given Up on "Help"?

[SoSheSaidSuicide]

Hello!

I just joined SS today. But I am curious how many can relate to this feeling...

Have you ever sought help for feeling suicidal? Called a crisis line, went to a walk-in crisis center, been put on a hold and/or ended up in the hospital, or even just tried to talk to a friend or family member?

If so, did you feel better? Did anything help you? Or was it just more confirmation as to why you want/need to kill yourself?

I am asking because my experience for all the many times I have tried to get help for feeling so low and so close to another attempt, was that people just brush me off. They act like I dont matter, like what I'm feeling doesnt matter, and that I am not serious about killing myself. This has lead me to where I am right now. All of the times I have really tried to get help, tried to get better, tried to keep living and was treated like the garbage no one wanted to take out, has left me feeling completely ready now. I wont seek out help anymore. I wont call another family member or friend just for them to sigh at me through the phone as if my life is nothing.
Also, I know what is out there for resources (I work in the mental health feild, and let me say it is by far the WORST thing for a suicidal person, I'm talking about staff making fun of patients for their methods of attempt) and I am thoroughly convinced there is nothing anyone can do about it. Why would anyone seek help when all that happens is you get treated like literal shit, and the alternative is to just end it already? To put an end to it all.

I guess my big question is, have you tried to get help and then felt even worse, more shameful, humiliated, and even more suicidal?

What a freaking joke the mental health system is in America. I am 100% for suicide rights. No one should have to suffer every day in such a cold and cruel world that claims there is hope and help when all there is are facilities that want your insurance money. They dont give a shit about saving your life, they care about how much they can profit off of your mental instability. Sickening.

Take my word for it if you haven't already experienced it.

Then, there's the even worse piece of it that when you shut down and stop trying to get help because there is nothing out there that will actually help in any way shape or form, people you love criticize you and judge you and walk out on you. When all you needed was one, just one person to be there. To see how much pain you are in. Doesnt matter how much you've explained it or tried to talk through it or seek help, they just leave you there to live in the misery of your own existence. Alone.

So, why not suicide?

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Hello! Welcome to SS.
I'm so sorry to hear that nobody takes your suicidal thoughts serious, we are here and we will listen to you whenever you need someone to talk to.
I live in the UK and went a few weeks ago to the ER for my suicidal thoughts, I already explained in the beginning 'my pets are the reason why I'm still alive and haven't thought about a method yet', the lady asked me a few times: 'why are you still alive?' 'why haven't you thought about a method yet?'
It didn't feel like that she was listening to me and she asked me if she'd give me some pills or I could promise her not to do an overdose. W h a t.

Anyway here I am it has triggered me to do research for methods, ended up here, one failed attempt and hope to do another attempt very soon. I give up on help for my mental health.
What's the point if it triggers me in to even a more bad place? Am I supposed to live if I keep relapsing in suicidal thoughts?

 

[SoSheSaidSuicide]

Thank you for the warm welcome!

I am so sorry that happened to you. It's the worst feeling ever. Like someone punched a hole through your abdomen. The feeling of wanting anyone to just show a shred of empathy, and everyone around you just ignoring you.

I can really relate to what you feel about giving up on your mental health. I feel the same way. What is the point when every time I just come back to suicidal thoughts? And there is no proper help? It seems completely pointless to me.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Thank you for the warm welcome!

I am so sorry that happened to you. It's the worst feeling ever. Like someone punched a hole through your abdomen. The feeling of wanting anyone to just show a shred of empathy, and everyone around you just ignoring you.

I can really relate to what you feel about giving up on your mental health. I feel the same way. What is the point when every time I just come back to suicidal thoughts? And there is no proper help? It seems completely pointless to me.

I really wanted my best to recover anyway yes the lady I spoke to ruined it for me, I'm sure that there will be people who work in the mental health field who will do everything for you to get better but I'm starting to believe that the help is only temporary.
It's only postponing your life because you will probably need after that a few months or years later again help.
And yes!! The feeling of being ignored or whenever you confess to friends how you feel that they're brushing it off with: 'dIsTrAcT yOuRsElF.'

You get it! There might be luck in your life you would be missing if you ctb but on the other hand: no more bad days, no more suicidal thoughts.
And how come that some people claim that they've never felt suicidal???

My brain is exploding, it's 5.19 am and I haven't slept yet fuck so many questions

 

[OneBigBlur]

I have to hide my suicidal thoughts from my therapist and it is heartbreaking. I confronted her last week about how people in her profession hide their feelings and it makes people like me feel like we aren't worth anything. I cried in front of her for the first time in my adult life and I didn't get any real compassion or empathy because it's dangerous to show those things and I'm sick of the canned responses/reactions. When I get asked if I'm suicidal by her it's like my heart gets stabbed and it lasts for days.

 

[SoSheSaidSuicide]

I have to hide my suicidal thoughts from my therapist and it is heartbreaking. I confronted her last week about how people in her profession hide their feelings and it makes people like me feel like we aren't worth anything. I cried in front of her for the first time in my adult life and I didn't get any real compassion or empathy because it's dangerous to show those things and I'm sick of the canned responses/reactions. When I get asked if I'm suicidal by her it's like my heart gets stabbed and it lasts for days.

Man, I feel that on a deep level. It's like way too risky to open up about it sometimes because you never know what response you will get. Will it be validation and love and support? Or will it be judgement and ignorance and apathy? Will I get committed?

Risky stuff.

 

[OneBigBlur]

Man, I feel that on a deep level. It's like way too risky to open up about it sometimes because you never know what response you will get. Will it be validation and love and support? Or will it be judgement and ignorance and apathy? Will I get committed?

Risky stuff.

I'm pretty sure I'd get committed but I tiptoed around the topic a lot today by bringing up Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. I even talked to her about how the psych ward doesn't help people, it retraumatizes them and only delays them from committing suicide. I'm pretty sure she knows I'm suicidal because she ended up asking me about it at the end of the session and mentioning how they have "crisis centers". What probably tipped her off was that I read this post to her that asks some very profound questions:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/would-you-want-to-live-if-you-had-this.27950/

 

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

Yes, you are looked at like a freak of nature. I have been in a psych ward, it was terrible. I don't want help! I just want to be out of this world and enjoy my last days in peace without people trying to save me.

Hello!

I just joined SS today. But I am curious how many can relate to this feeling...

Have you ever sought help for feeling suicidal? Called a crisis line, went to a walk-in crisis center, been put on a hold and/or ended up in the hospital, or even just tried to talk to a friend or family member?

If so, did you feel better? Did anything help you? Or was it just more confirmation as to why you want/need to kill yourself?

I am asking because my experience for all the many times I have tried to get help for feeling so low and so close to another attempt, was that people just brush me off. They act like I dont matter, like what I'm feeling doesnt matter, and that I am not serious about killing myself. This has lead me to where I am right now. All of the times I have really tried to get help, tried to get better, tried to keep living and was treated like the garbage no one wanted to take out, has left me feeling completely ready now. I wont seek out help anymore. I wont call another family member or friend just for them to sigh at me through the phone as if my life is nothing.
Also, I know what is out there for resources (I work in the mental health feild, and let me say it is by far the WORST thing for a suicidal person, I'm talking about staff making fun of patients for their methods of attempt) and I am thoroughly convinced there is nothing anyone can do about it. Why would anyone seek help when all that happens is you get treated like literal shit, and the alternative is to just end it already? To put an end to it all.

I guess my big question is, have you tried to get help and then felt even worse, more shameful, humiliated, and even more suicidal?

What a freaking joke the mental health system is in America. I am 100% for suicide rights. No one should have to suffer every day in such a cold and cruel world that claims there is hope and help when all there is are facilities that want your insurance money. They dont give a shit about saving your life, they care about how much they can profit off of your mental instability. Sickening.

Take my word for it if you haven't already experienced it.

Then, there's the even worse piece of it that when you shut down and stop trying to get help because there is nothing out there that will actually help in any way shape or form, people you love criticize you and judge you and walk out on you. When all you needed was one, just one person to be there. To see how much pain you are in. Doesnt matter how much you've explained it or tried to talk through it or seek help, they just leave you there to live in the misery of your own existence. Alone.

So, why not suicide?

 

[Green Destiny]

Hello there. I can say that I have never been lucky (or unlucky) enough to experience the U.S mental health care system, and it's for reasons as you and other people on here have described. Seems like more often than not people are mistreated, ignored and often subjugated to psych wards just for saying that they wan't to die. I fear that my freedom could be taken away and my secrets exposed simply for trying to get help from these professionals. No, you will not betray and back stab me like that. Gladly would rather die than go through such inhumane misery.