given a warning for constructive advice

[itsallpointless]

A certain member in the community of the transgender group made a comment about not being satisfied with their own body. I simply replied in the post that they should give better care to a particular body part, which is what I do for myself too. My post was taken as a troll post and was issued with a warning on the grounds of being "rude". Idk what this community is coming to if they're so sensitive that a simple well intentioned comment can be misinterpreted as an offensive one. Oh wells, I might get even more warnings for this but I'm pretty irritated already.
p.s. making this post because I can't even reply to the one who issued the ban

 

[RainAndSadness]

How does suggesting to a trans woman to treat their penis better help in any way for the emotional pain that's associated with gender dysphoria? Your comment came out of nowhere, it was insensitive and had nothing to do with the topic.

 

[itsallpointless]

How does suggesting to a trans woman to treat their penisl better help in any way for the emotional pain that's associated with gender dysphoria? Your comment came out of nowhere, it was insensitive and had nothing to do with the topic.

They directly in their post addressed that body part as a problem. What am I supposed to do? Dance around the elephant in the room?

 

[RainAndSadness]

They directly in their post addressed that body part as a problem. What am I supposed to do? Dance around the elephant in the room?

If you don't understand someone's problem, maybe it's better to not post anything.

 

[itsallpointless]

If you don't understand someone's problem, maybe it's better to not post anything.

Maybe I'm the one misunderstood but oh well. This is life.

 

[borderline-feline]

I could easily just call OP a transphobe, which would be fair since what OP said to me was transphobic and dysphoria-inducing, but I wanna treat this as a learning experience for people who may see it.

"Just love your body" is to trans people what "don't be sad" is to people with depression. It's unhelpful and insulting because it's not possible. The disconnect between my brain and my body makes it so that any part of my body that's male is inherently distressing. That's why trans people transition.

My brain expects a vagina, not a penis, so that causes extreme discomfort that can't be treated with anything other than transitioning. THAT is why what OP said was offensive and transphobic.

 

[Holu]

How does suggesting to a trans woman to treat their penis better help in any way for the emotional pain that's associated with gender dysphoria? Your comment came out of nowhere, it was insensitive and had nothing to do with the topic.

Nahhhh is that wat they fr suggested. Thats fuckkkked

 

[borderline-feline]

Nahhhh is that wat they fr suggested. Thats fuckkkked

I made a thread about a month ago about how frustrating the process of medical transition is and how much I hate having to tuck, and OP out of nowhere said "tried treating your penis better? I'm sure it's suffering alot".

As anyone would in this situation, I asked "What are you even talking about?"

They responded with "I'm saying your body wants you to care for it."

I explained that that's what getting surgery is, caring for my body. Then I asked what was meant by that, and they said "That you learn to love your body as it is... In other words, appreciating things that we might have very strong feelings against"

It devolved from there with multiple people, including RainAndSadness explaining what was wrong with what OP was saying. It's also worth noting that I didn't report OP's initial comment about my genitals because I was too confused to be offended; it got removed completely independent of me.

 

[Holu]

I made a thread about a month ago about how frustrating the process of medical transition is and how much I hate having to tuck, and OP out of nowhere said "tried treating your penis better? I'm sure it's suffering alot".

As anyone would in this situation, I asked "What are you even talking about?"

They responded with "I'm saying your body wants you to care for it."

I explained that that's what getting surgery is, caring for my body. Then I asked what was meant by that, and they said "That you learn to love your body as it is... In other words, appreciating things that we might have very strong feelings against"

It devolved from there with multiple people, including RainAndSadness explaining what was wrong with what OP was saying. It's also worth noting that I didn't report OP's initial comment about my genitals because I was too confused to be offended; it got removed completely independent of me.

Ma'am, I apologize for not being a foremost expert on trans people. I have had two trans friends in my entire life and honestly seeing how happy HRT made both of them melted my heart. Don't let us uninformed bozos ever keep you down. Do what you know is right. <3

 

[borderline-feline]

Ma'am, I apologize for not being a foremost expert on trans people. I have had two trans friends in my entire life and honestly seeing how happy HRT made both of them melted my heart. Don't let us uninformed bozos ever keep you down. Do what you know is right. <3

Thank you! You're very sweet. Tbh, the shitshow on my thread is causing me to be fueled (by spite) to work on furthering my transition.

 

[Holu]

Thank you! You're very sweet. Tbh, the shitshow on my thread is causing me to be fueled (by spite) to work on furthering my transition.

Seriously that bad?
I'd expect at least slightly better understanding from this community. After all, at least half of our souls were born dead and just thrown into living infants. Whilst that's nothing like being cursed to live life in the wrong body it should at least make people hesitate to say some stupid shit.
Ohhh and kick ass in your transition. You just a caterpillar turnin into a butterfly just you wait!

 

[borderline-feline]

Seriously that bad?
I'd expect at least slightly better understanding from this community. After all, at least half of our souls were born dead and just thrown into living infants. Whilst that's nothing like being cursed to live life in the wrong body it should at least make people hesitate to say some stupid shit.
Ohhh and kick ass in your transition. You just a caterpillar turnin into a butterfly just you wait!

I've always loved when people use metamorphosis imagery when talking about transitioning. I'm still in my chrysalis for now, but I'm gonna feel a lot better when I've eclosed.

 

[Holu]

I've always loved when people use metamorphosis imagery when talking about transitioning. I'm still in my chrysalis for now, but I'm gonna feel a lot better when I've eclosed.

Ama poet n ik it. xD but nah fr world gave you the wrong body cuz it couldn't handle you at your full power. Just you wait til ur fully urself <3. You can beat that dysphoria and I'm talkin full out mob style

 

[borderline-feline]

Ama poet n ik it. xD but nah fr world gave you the wrong body cuz it couldn't handle you at your full power. Just you wait til ur fully urself <3. You can beat that dysphoria and I'm talkin full out mob style

I was nerfed to prevent me from besting God in hand-to-hand combat

 

[Holu]

I was nerfed to prevent me from besting God in hand-to-hand combat

Fr that bearded fuck is scared shitlesss

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Maybe I'm the one misunderstood but oh well. This is life.

You are 100% in the wrong here. As someone who is very dysphoric, and envious of those born the sex I wish I was, it is impossible to accept your body as is. If someone finds their body gross and disgusting, they have no reason to accept it. You were not misunderstood. You're just rude and ignorant.

 

[Darkover]

this place is moderated by the gestapo

 

[TimeHasCome6]

I promise I have nome a to be rude, but maybe the defendant is making a true point here:

Maybe I'm the one misunderstood but oh well. This is life.

They proabably don't understand. I know it took me a bit to understand before I could even realize I was non-binary. Try to give some grace. Again, I have no mean to be rude as I am also figuring my gender out and I do agree that what they said to you was wrong, I want you to see their side, @CantDoItAnymore . I hope all of you find peace and that your transition goes well. You go punch the world in the face at your full force! :)
No mean* apologies.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I promise I have nome a to be rude, but maybe the defendant is making a true point here:

They proabably don't understand. I know it took me a bit to understand before I could even realize I was non-binary. Try to give some grace. Again, I have no mean to be rude as I am also figuring my gender out and I do agree that what they said to you was wrong, I want you to see their side, @CantDoItAnymore . I hope all of you find peace and that your transition goes well. You go punch the world in the face at your full force! :)
No mean* apologies.

Well, people like them, shouldn't provide any advice on issues they know nothing about. It's as useless as platitudes.

 

[borderline-feline]

You are 100% in the wrong here. As someone who is very dysphoric, and envious of those born the sex I wish I was, it is impossible to accept your body as is. If someone finds their body gross and disgusting, they have no reason to accept it. You were not misunderstood. You're just rude and ignorant.

I agree. If someone isn't informed on a topic, then they shouldn't act as though they have something of meaning to say. I've tried loving my body, and it doesn't work; it's always made me uncomfortable. I even once tried to remove "it" with nail clippers once; that's not normal behavior for a child, especially one that hasn't started puberty yet.

It's also just generally uncalled for that that person came in and talked about my genitals out of nowhere when all I said was that I'm sick of tucking, having male genitals makes me want to die, and I'm afraid of dying with male parts and having "male" listed on my death certificate because of that.

 

[borderline-feline]

this place is moderated by the gestapo

You:

 

[TimeHasCome6]

Well, people like them, shouldn't provide any advice on issues they know nothing about. It's as useless as platitudes.

I agree. If someone isn't informed on a topic, then they shouldn't act as though they have something of meaning to say. I've tried loving my body, and it doesn't work; it's always made me uncomfortable. I even once tried to remove "it" with nail clippers once; that's not normal behavior for a child, especially one that hasn't started puberty yet.

It's also just generally uncalled for that that person came in and talked about my genitals out of nowhere when all I said was that I'm sick of tucking, having male genitals makes me want to die, and I'm afraid of dying with male parts and having "male" listed on my death certificate because of that.

You are both correct. My apologies. I hope you all find the peace you look for and everything goes well! :)

 

[leloyon]

I could easily just call OP a transphobe, which would be fair since what OP said to me was transphobic and dysphoria-inducing, but I wanna treat this as a learning experience for people who may see it.

"Just love your body" is to trans people what "don't be sad" is to people with depression. It's unhelpful and insulting because it's not possible. The disconnect between my brain and my body makes it so that any part of my body that's male is inherently distressing. That's why trans people transition.

My brain expects a vagina, not a penis, so that causes extreme discomfort that can't be treated with anything other than transitioning. THAT is why what OP said was offensive and transphobic.

…huh. As someone who is trans myself and experiences dysphoria…I never thought about dysphoria like that, but now it makes a lot of sense.
I have no take on the incident since I didn't witness it myself, just felt like saying this.

 

[borderline-feline]

…huh. As someone who is trans myself and experiences dysphoria…I never thought about dysphoria like that, but now it makes a lot of sense.
I have no take on the incident since I didn't witness it myself, just felt like saying this.

I'm glad that I was able to offer a perspective you hadn't thought of before.