eiyuu

eiyuu

i am a hero
Jan 24, 2020
21
I'll be honest, I'm kind of at a loss from where to go. My August 15th date is fast approaching, for those of you who remember, but now I'm torn between alienating myself from everyone I know and becoming a hermit (while still being a productive member of society) and killing myself. I enjoy the company I work for, as much as I hate a majority of my coworkers, and I made good money before Corona (I, unlike my coworkers, actually LIKE to work). I'm on CERB now (Canada thing) so I have income at least. Tomorrow I'm going to head down to a ServiceOntario and get the application for my photo card in so I can official sign up for OnlyFans. But that's where I'm torn.

I don't wanna seem like I'm tooting my own horn here, but I could /easily/ make good money off of OnlyFans. I've done sex work before, so it's not a big deal for me. I'm very tempted on ghosting my workplace and every single person I know (save for my Father). But there's more issues with that, such as I need a resume and letters of recommendation from employers for ~Funeral School~.

And then goes onto my suicide plan.

If I go forward with ctbing, it's not like what happens matters. I certainly won't be around for it. I've already plotted out what I'm going to do far in advance. It's not like anyone can stop me anyway. I have prep work to do, such as breaking into the intercom on in my lobby, but that's easy.

If I go ahead with ghosting, all I'm going to do is dedicate myself to OnlyFans, go to school/get a drivers license, get my license from the BAO, and then fuck off to one of the maritime provinces (I'm from Ontario).

But honestly, is it even worth it?
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
You sound ambivalent enough about the idea of suicide that I'd probably advise against taking that option at present. The date is set by you, is changeable or removable and has no power or significance other than what you assign to it.
 
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StupidLizard

StupidLizard

snake charmer
Feb 21, 2019
45
You sound ambivalent enough about the idea of suicide that I'd probably advise against taking that option at present. The date is set by you, is changeable or removable and has no power or significance other than what you assign to it.
Completely agree with Autumnal here. There is no significance to this meaningless date than what you fix to it.
With that said, "Ghosting" as you call it, may be a viable option, provided that social isolation does not ware on your mental health and push you towards suicide anyway.
 
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