Qua
there's no turning back now
- Apr 30, 2023
- 78
Everytime I feel slightly better, everytime I go back to functioning normally, it always has to come back to how it was. Everytime I fall into the same deep hole that I thought I crawled out of. And I can't sleep again, my thoughts are constantly rushing. Attending university feels almost impossible, studying feels almost impossible but I have to keep it up so I don't fail and lose everything. Derealization is slowly coming back to me, the same feeling of being completly cut off from the world, floating and thinking it's just a matter of seconds before I literally fall to the ground.
I'm trying to send some signals that I'm not doing well again, but nobody seems to notice. I'm just silently pulling away from everybody, hoping that somebody will see what's happening. I'm overwhelmed, I can't catch a break. I'm constantly smoking and started to drink to cope with my feelings. But they come back, they come back everytime. There's never enough distractions to keep me away from my own mind. I'm getting completly lost again and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it yet again.
I'm trying to send some signals that I'm not doing well again, but nobody seems to notice. I'm just silently pulling away from everybody, hoping that somebody will see what's happening. I'm overwhelmed, I can't catch a break. I'm constantly smoking and started to drink to cope with my feelings. But they come back, they come back everytime. There's never enough distractions to keep me away from my own mind. I'm getting completly lost again and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it yet again.
