Cherry Crumpet
Hiraeth
- May 7, 2018
- 265
Was browsing twitter and saw this stupid quote with flowers and all that shit.
'Remember wanting what you currently have?'
You mean my current life where I realized I will probably never have a family (36F), a spouse, or a child, and will die alone ultimately? The life where I feel like my dreams are dead?
No. I don't remember ever 'wanting' this fucking life. Fuck you. Fuck this. Life is a fucking cosmic joke.
I'm still trying my best. I'm trying to change my mindset.. it's working at times. There's days where I honest to God think I feel kind of happy. I think maybe I never wanted a family or a child at all...
But I feel so pathetic and like I have no fucking stability when all it takes is seeing a stupid quote like that and it just puts me over the edge again and makes me start to cry. I have like zero emotional resilience and it depresses the fuck out of me and makes me that much more disappointed in myself.
Btw: I'm so glad this forum is still up. Thank you Mods. From the bottom of my heart. It's like my refuge (even if I don't plan on CBT).
'Remember wanting what you currently have?'
You mean my current life where I realized I will probably never have a family (36F), a spouse, or a child, and will die alone ultimately? The life where I feel like my dreams are dead?
No. I don't remember ever 'wanting' this fucking life. Fuck you. Fuck this. Life is a fucking cosmic joke.
I'm still trying my best. I'm trying to change my mindset.. it's working at times. There's days where I honest to God think I feel kind of happy. I think maybe I never wanted a family or a child at all...
But I feel so pathetic and like I have no fucking stability when all it takes is seeing a stupid quote like that and it just puts me over the edge again and makes me start to cry. I have like zero emotional resilience and it depresses the fuck out of me and makes me that much more disappointed in myself.
Btw: I'm so glad this forum is still up. Thank you Mods. From the bottom of my heart. It's like my refuge (even if I don't plan on CBT).
