Venting Getting kicked out by dad

[Sari]

Already fighting suicidal thoughts almost daily and a few days ago my father said that I'm a selfish, lazy freeloader and that he's kicking me out. I don't see how I'm any of those things since I often clean up after him and generally do more housework than he does. He's just pissed because I don't let him take his stress out on me whenever he gets drunk/high and starts to hurl insults at me. Feeling extremely overwhelmed because I don't know what to do. I probably have to drop out of school and start looking for a job even though I don't think I'm qualified enough and have extremely low self-esteem. I don't think I'm capable of becoming an adult so suddenly. I already don't have any desire to keep living; all of this drama with my dad was just icing on the shit cake. Now I have to do all of these things just to find a place to live when I DON'T WANT TO. Fucking sick and tired of always being guilt tripped by people who clearly don't have any mental health problems into staying alive in this fucking insufferable shit hole. "It's selfish to unalive yourself" well what the fuck then help me instead of making me feel even more ashamed. Why even guilt trip a worthless human being into staying alive and taking up even more space and air?

Can anyone tell me if the bean bag method works? (Place a bean bag on both sides of your neck and then tighten it with tape or something like that)

 

[nuke family]

i doubt the bean bag method is rlly that good. i would get a job, it may be hard at first but you will work your way up and eventually get a opportunity for a better life. some people believe everything happens for a reason, while i dont rlly belive in that sometimes its a good thought. maybe this path will take you somewhere nice if you dont ctb. if you still plan on dying then save up actually money to do a better method because this wont likely work. But i think the best decision is putting in work and seeing where life takes you.

 

[Daxter_87]

So sorry for that. It really isn't your fault at all. You are neither selfish nor "lazy" for not having a job; such things are only said purely to guilt-trip you into being a slave. Jobs are nothing but soul-crushing, dead end slavery, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to gaslight you.

Besides, your father doesn't have the right to kick you out of home, as you were non-consensually created and, therefore, you shouldn't be responsible for fulfilling needs that were imposed on you. However, he will probably kick you out anyway if he wants to and/or doesn't care. I really wish that wasn't the case.

 

[FuneralCry]

That is just so cruel, I wish there was acceptance towards the fact that not everyone wishes to exist here, the true selfish thing is forcing life into this world and expecting that person to suffer endlessly until they die anyway.

 

[chloramine]

That's awful. School is pretty much a full time job by itself too. Depending on where you live and the specifics of your situation there may be resources to help with the school and job components. Public libraries can be a great source of information or places like food banks can often point you in the right direction. Sorry I can't provide anything more concrete.