Some great advice on this thread :: use it!
If you're desperate pls try a 12step meeting, there are loads:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
eatingdisordersanonymous.org
you can attend online zoom meetings though its best to go in person; u will learn sumthin from everyone there. if you're broke and can't get transport there someone may even collect you - depends on where you located & yr being ok with asking for help...
If I may id like to share sum advice if unthinking of anonymous therapy...
It was given to me over time and has benefitted me beyond measure.
look for similarities rather than differences and find a group you're comfortable with ( I prefer wisdom of AA vs NA, though NA peeps are often more candid with their 'stuff'. Your level of interaction is up to you. Someone there may know a therapist, though I'm a fan of group therapy (truthful, non-enabling and experienced) inspite of initial reservations and my social distancing,
they will help u remap yr thinking, which is critical to recovery. If u pay attention. Don't judge. I time u will resonate with their shares / struggles.
don't trip on the higher power stuff, not enuff of an excuse not to ,earn & grow!?! I'm monstrously messed up, but without NA I would be totally unmanageable.
Give it a try,