Getting closure is important to me. Is there anyone else out there who has tried to get closure but it was denied? In other words...you know that closure for your situation is available in some capacity but the people in your life choose not to provide it to you.
I'm sure some of you have read my posts and threads so you can believe what you want. Below is an example of being denied closure (it's fictional). It is the best analogy to my situation without actually explaining my situation in this thread. I posted this in the recovery section because I plan to recover from my horrible situation if closure is provided to me.
I have a 10 year old son named Bill. I came home from work one day and my wife greeted me. She let me know that Bill did not come home from school and she is worried. We called the police and they started a search for him. The school, the police, the neighbors, and friends all looked for Bill. After a week of being missing things weren't looking good. Everyone was still searching though and there was hope that Bill would return home. After three weeks I overheard my wife talking to the police and they were telling her that they found Bill and that he was dead. She started to cry and then quickly stopped. I walked into the room (she didn't know I overheard her talking) and asked how she was doing. My wife lied and said that she spoke to the police and they were still searching for Bill.
Two months went by and I confronted my wife about her conversation with the police about Bill being dead and she denied it. I started asking friends, neighbors, teachers at school and they all denied that Bill was dead. They all insisted that he was still out there and everyone was still searching. I started to grieve because I knew that he was really dead and never coming home. My wife couldn't understand why I was grieving and insisted that he was still out there. Fast forward three years and people are still supposedly looking for Bill. I can't fully participate in therapy because my son didn't technically die even though he really did. Everyone refuses to admit that Bill is actually dead and that I'm delusional.
Just fucking tell me that my son is dead so I can properly grieve, have a funeral for him, and find a way to move on (story over). Why deny me closure? How does it help anyone? In my opinion, being denied closure when it's available just makes things worse.
To add to this...being denied closure for three years causes the person to grieve, then heal, then grieve again, and then heal again. Why do that to someone? Just tell them from the beginning. I'll sign any agreement they want me to that releases them from any liability to anything that might happen to me.
I'm sure some of you have read my posts and threads so you can believe what you want. Below is an example of being denied closure (it's fictional). It is the best analogy to my situation without actually explaining my situation in this thread. I posted this in the recovery section because I plan to recover from my horrible situation if closure is provided to me.
I have a 10 year old son named Bill. I came home from work one day and my wife greeted me. She let me know that Bill did not come home from school and she is worried. We called the police and they started a search for him. The school, the police, the neighbors, and friends all looked for Bill. After a week of being missing things weren't looking good. Everyone was still searching though and there was hope that Bill would return home. After three weeks I overheard my wife talking to the police and they were telling her that they found Bill and that he was dead. She started to cry and then quickly stopped. I walked into the room (she didn't know I overheard her talking) and asked how she was doing. My wife lied and said that she spoke to the police and they were still searching for Bill.
Two months went by and I confronted my wife about her conversation with the police about Bill being dead and she denied it. I started asking friends, neighbors, teachers at school and they all denied that Bill was dead. They all insisted that he was still out there and everyone was still searching. I started to grieve because I knew that he was really dead and never coming home. My wife couldn't understand why I was grieving and insisted that he was still out there. Fast forward three years and people are still supposedly looking for Bill. I can't fully participate in therapy because my son didn't technically die even though he really did. Everyone refuses to admit that Bill is actually dead and that I'm delusional.
Just fucking tell me that my son is dead so I can properly grieve, have a funeral for him, and find a way to move on (story over). Why deny me closure? How does it help anyone? In my opinion, being denied closure when it's available just makes things worse.
To add to this...being denied closure for three years causes the person to grieve, then heal, then grieve again, and then heal again. Why do that to someone? Just tell them from the beginning. I'll sign any agreement they want me to that releases them from any liability to anything that might happen to me.
