I don't just feel like I've lost everything, I feel like I never had it at all. One of the things stopping from CTB was my family. Today I realized that even they are screwing me over (too complicated to explain). I'm just trying to see the positive in it; one less reason to live.
I'm mostly still alive out of a sense of irrational hope, "maybe I'll win the lottery," I think, or maybe some beautiful girl will fall in love with me and love me for me regardless of what job I have or don't. But none of it is realistic.
Anyway, I did have a realistic chance of making some cash, a significant amount but not going to be rich, enough to maybe start over in a new city, but that hope is fading along with any care for my family (the two are tied basically).
I'm so tired and so afraid all the time.
Sorry about the pointless post, I just needed to tell someone.
Sorry you're all hurting too
I'm mostly still alive out of a sense of irrational hope, "maybe I'll win the lottery," I think, or maybe some beautiful girl will fall in love with me and love me for me regardless of what job I have or don't. But none of it is realistic.
Anyway, I did have a realistic chance of making some cash, a significant amount but not going to be rich, enough to maybe start over in a new city, but that hope is fading along with any care for my family (the two are tied basically).
I'm so tired and so afraid all the time.
Sorry about the pointless post, I just needed to tell someone.
Sorry you're all hurting too
