It's so easy for me to get so depressed because I start thinking about all the stuff I failed at and just want to put a bullet in my head. I don't know even know what else to say but it sucks.
I hate my birthdays too. I try to ignore it. I do not respond to any birthday wishes, I do not do parties, I take my birthday off the birthday calendar at work. I turn my phone off and refuse to see anyone but my husband.
I grew up being told I should have never been born, before I was even old enough to start kindergarden. I was told as a toddler and my entire childhood I should have never been born. Its my fault were poor. Its my fault he cant have nice things. I ruined his life. Its my fault mother wont have sex with him. I was a mistake. They neither one wanted me.
So yeah, celebrating the day this mistake came into the world just doesnt appeal to me. Im sorry you hate your birthday too. So many people seem to enjoy it, it sucks that we cant do the same.