Venting Gaming was keeping me alive

[deadwithoutmusic]

Gaming has always been an escape for me but recently I have been playing almost all day every day. It sounds really unhealthy and I guess it is but without it I feel nothing and atleast for the time being it's helping reduce suicidal thoughts. I have been playing league of legends for about 10 years now and have been really into it the last couple of months. Playing with friends a lot of the time and trying to climb ranks and get better really improves my mood mainly because it gives me some kind of purpose.

I got banned the other day for 14 days by an automated system and I'm not even really sure what for, swearing and maybe being a bit negative. I was in no way attacking people and I was even told to kill myself by someone that game which is much worse than anything I have ever said to anyone. I have never been banned and would like to say I'm one of the less toxic people in that game.

It sounds so stupid but this ban from the game might just cost me the one chance I had at maybe turning my life around by holding onto gaming and friends I game with as a reason to live. I am trying to appeal the ban but I'm not sure if it will work. People preach about mental health awareness then they take away the one thing that matters to me in my life over something so small.

If I had my SN already I would be dead. I ordered from a third provider the other day with express shipping hoping one of my orders will get to me soon.

Sorry for the rant everyone.

 

[goodbyebunny]

Don't be sorry for expressing yourself to us. There's no need. That's what we're here for. These automated punishment systems aren't the most effective. It's definitely upsetting to be punished by a faulty system undeservedly. I also understand that gaming is an important outlet for you, as well as many others. It can even be a lifeline as you say. I'm sorry that was taken from you wrongly.

 

[Smellanie]

When you're already suicidal the littlest things can totally set you off. Don't feel bad about it. Its okay we've all been there. Hopefully your ban appeal works!

 

[262653]

I used to troll in ranked with Anivia support. For around 50+ games I never even got a warning. I placed lethal walls to trap my adc, took as much creeps as possible, smited cannon minions to take their gold for myself. In my first few games I was trolling the whole team by trapping everyone with the wall and stealing monsters from jungle, and they all were turning against me.

Later I've figured out that the best thing to do is to troll an adc, my lane partner, and mostly help everyone else, like using Smite to help jungle with clearing, instead of stealing. It makes a good first impression, and secures me an ally. The common situation I was ending up in is feeder adc whining and yelling and cursing while my chat responses are calm and respectful. Everyone performs well with the exception of adc who keeps whining, so the rest of my team keeps telling him to shut up. I bought Anivia for funsies but with experience I've grown to like her, and eventually she became one of my favorite champs.

I think that matchmaking is a joke. If I win games, the system pairs me with stronger opponents and weaker teammates so that I lose, and it keeps adjusting players to keep me at 50%~ winrate. There are ways to bypass the system but they are troublesome or take too much effort to bother. The way to enjoy this game without being equally frustrated by it, is not to play for victory, but to enjoy the process, like I enjoyed to trollwall my adc.

Ed: It was easy to take the role of support because it was the least popular role, I don't know how things are going on there now.

 

[albino_elk]

I'd say try to find something new. Anyway its only 14 days. Try wow , blade n soul, lineage 2 (if you are into oldschools) or whatever xd there is plenty games to chose from.. or try a mobile mobas... mobile legends bang bang for example,onmoji arena. Or watch a horror movie. f2movies to is free site to watch.

 

[Smellanie]

I used to troll in ranked with Anivia support. For around 50+ games I never even got a warning. I placed lethal walls to trap my adc, took as much creeps as possible, smited cannon minions to take their gold for myself. In my first few games I was trolling the whole team by trapping everyone with the wall and stealing monsters from jungle, and they all were turning against me.

Later I've figured out that the best thing to do is to troll an adc, my lane partner, and mostly help everyone else, like using Smite to help jungle with clearing, instead of stealing. It makes a good first impression, and secures me an ally. The common situation I was ending up in is feeder adc whining and yelling and cursing while my chat responses are calm and respectful. Everyone performs well with the exception of adc who keeps whining, so the rest of my team keeps telling him to shut up. I bought Anivia for funsies but with experience I've grown to like her, and eventually she became one of my favorite champs.

I think that matchmaking is a joke. If I win games, the system pairs me with stronger opponents and weaker teammates so that I lose, and it keeps adjusting players to keep me at 50%~ winrate. There are ways to bypass the system but they are troublesome or take too much effort to bother. The way to enjoy this game without being equally frustrated by it, is not to play for victory, but to enjoy the process, like I enjoyed to trollwall my adc.

Ed: It was easy to take the role of support because it was the least popular role, I don't know how things are going on there now.

Hmmm you probably made a few of those adc's want to kill themselves lol

 

[deadwithoutmusic]

I used to troll in ranked with Anivia support. For around 50+ games I never even got a warning. I placed lethal walls to trap my adc, took as much creeps as possible, smited cannon minions to take their gold for myself. In my first few games I was trolling the whole team by trapping everyone with the wall and stealing monsters from jungle, and they all were turning against me.

Later I've figured out that the best thing to do is to troll an adc, my lane partner, and mostly help everyone else, like using Smite to help jungle with clearing, instead of stealing. It makes a good first impression, and secures me an ally. The common situation I was ending up in is feeder adc whining and yelling and cursing while my chat responses are calm and respectful. Everyone performs well with the exception of adc who keeps whining, so the rest of my team keeps telling him to shut up. I bought Anivia for funsies but with experience I've grown to like her, and eventually she became one of my favorite champs.

I think that matchmaking is a joke. If I win games, the system pairs me with stronger opponents and weaker teammates so that I lose, and it keeps adjusting players to keep me at 50%~ winrate. There are ways to bypass the system but they are troublesome or take too much effort to bother. The way to enjoy this game without being equally frustrated by it, is not to play for victory, but to enjoy the process, like I enjoyed to trollwall my adc.

Ed: It was easy to take the role of support because it was the least popular role, I don't know how things are going on there now.

It's very hard to get banned for your actions in league, way more likely to get banned for what you say which is a lot easier to detect. That's a pretty funny story though haha, thanks for sharing. I think different people find enjoyment in different ways from games. I can have fun in games and not take it that seriously but to keep my interest for a long time I'm usually trying to improve and get better which is what I enjoy doing.

I'd say try to find something new. Anyway its only 14 days. Try wow , blade n soul, lineage 2 (if you are into oldschools) or whatever xd there is plenty games to chose from.. or try a mobile mobas... mobile legends bang bang for example,onmoji arena. Or watch a horror movie. f2movies to is free site to watch.

I've played heaps of games on and off but at the moment league is the only one that keeps my attention for more than a couple of days. Especially when all my friends are playing league at the moment so if I play league I can play and spend time with them as well.

 

[deadwithoutmusic]

Update: I got unbanned this morning and got a slap on the wrist instead. It was the happiest I had been in a very long time. Having this outlet again is such a relief and something I really needed.

Saying that I'm sitting here now at 4am feeling absolutely terrible so it's still far from a solution to my problems but it does make me feel good until I innevitably ctb.

 

[WillemB]

I find no pleasure anymore in escapes. I need to go soon.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Playing random indie platformers and other shit along with anime is the fine thread holding my entire mental state together tbh

 

[inactive]

Lmao, I recently got banned from the game that is keeping me afloat too. Same as you, 2 weeks. When I regained access, a wave of calmness immediately washed over me.

Glad to hear your ban was lifted. It really is the little things in life.

 

[elfgyoza]

I'm glad your ban was lifted, hope you're still gaming :)

I've lost interest recently but gaming is definitely the reason I'm still here now, and it's one of two reasons I'm sticking it out another month or two.
I've preordered Watch dogs legions for this Thursday and I'll probably buy Assassins creed valhallah on the 10th November. I've played every AC game and I even get a little bit happy/excited when I hear about the new one so I hope I'll be around to play it

 

[Lilacmoon]

oh, I also love league. I don't play games much anymore though. too depressed for that.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

@deadwithoutmusic have you tried everquest 2? there isn't pvp but its a really fun game. I'm in the largest guild and they welcome everyone-and they are great people

 

[deadwithoutmusic]

@deadwithoutmusic have you tried everquest 2? there isn't pvp but its a really fun game. I'm in the largest guild and they welcome everyone-and they are great people

I haven't tried everquest, what type of game is it? try sell me on it

 

[Umbrellaterm]

I haven't tried everquest, what type of game is it? try sell me on it

It's a budget wow copy

Sucks 4$$ afaik