Funeral thoughts

[highlyvolatile]

((I want to preface this by saying that you dont really have to read this. If you do i do appreciate it though. Its just different thoughts spewing out of my mind as im here. I'll be here at least another 2 hours.))

I'm sitting at a relatives funeral as I type this. I feel weird or I dont feel anything rather. I feel the same way I felt at my moms funeral. Cause people spoke so nicely about her. She is dressed up nice, has her make up done, has her hair fixed. I dont remember what she looked like before this. I see the pictures that flash by with memories of her. Im meeting people that say they can help me find jobs etc.. I didnt get to see my mom before she passed either. They passed the same way tbh.

I dont know how I feel. Im not sure how I feel. Im not sure how I should. Most people here are on their phones. I cant speak. I am also.

I wondered why we put so much effort into funerals and things. When most people go into the ground and we dont see them again. My mom looked beautiful before she was buried. We had to take pictures of her for my bedridden grandmother. It felt wrong? But I think i dont want a funeral. I'm seeing cousins and people I hadnt seen for years. Most I dont recognize. My sisters bf's dad passed and the family struggled paying for the funeral. And the other family said they'd pay the cost as long as it was paid back to them before the end of the month. It was around the 17th or so when he passed. Who has that kind of money lying around?

Planning for funerals is the worst. My mom had her plans written out and my family still fought and bickered and yelled at each other about it. That night was hell. Things havent been the same since she passed. I'm glad my cousin is in a better place, though.

I've thought about that if i did take my own life would my family honor no funeral for me. But now's probably not the time to be thinking about that right now.

Thanks to anyone who read it. Hope your day is a good one.

(Also its a flower bouquet with a bus image on it. And .. i also dont know how i feel about that.)

 

[Esc9434]

Cremate me, no funeral, no get together whatsoever, bury me under tree backyard at family home, and forget about me.

 

[WhyamIstillhere]

I want to leave the request for no funeral in my note, but I feel like that's really selfish.

 

[Esc9434]

I want to leave the request for no funeral in my note, but I feel like that's really selfish.

Not really. It is your last wish. People have to honor and respect it, no matter what.

They can still grieve alone without the theatrics.

I know this is going to be hard for my mom to understand.

 

[CuddleHug]

I think funerals can be very important for the people left behind. It gives them a kind of closure they wouldn't get otherwise. The most recent funeral I went to was my grandma, and it was truly beautiful and full of love. I honestly didn't expect it to mean that much, but I am very happy I went.

I don't want a funeral after I CTB, but I don't think it's up to me to decide that. On my last attempt, I wrote in my note that I'd prefer not to have a funeral, but I'd allow it if my family wishes it. Maybe do something like that?

Hugs~

 

[enjoy]

i want a funeral so people can say goodbye to me. friends who have been good to me deserve closure at the very least. i won't be doing a method that makes me look fucked up on the outside so i'd like it to be an open casket. i also want to look nice. maybe a pink suit. good music, no crying, no blame games. then, they can cremate me and dump my ashes over the ocean or somewhere else that's nice. i'll probably put it in my note.

 

[faust]

I don't like funerals much because people sometimes pretend that the deceased person was an angel. Lots of words told from a greedy heart. Some people care only about inheritance and accommodation they may get for free. There the wars between children start. I don't like funerals because they remind us we have to pay for everything, even when a person dies. We just spend money for nothing, even cremation costs money. I would prefer simply to disappear and never to be found.

 

[WhyamIstillhere]

I don't like funerals much because people sometimes pretend that the deceased person was an angel. Lots of words told from a greedy heart. Some people care only about inheritance and accommodation they may get for free. There the wars between children start. I don't like funerals because they remind us we have to pay for everything, even when a person dies. We just spend money for nothing, even cremation costs money. I would prefer simply to disappear and never to be found.

Is it bad though? I'm not amazing with my family, but it makes me happy knowing they'll get a nice sum of money when I'm gone. I wouldn't be surprised if they're happy to see me gone for the money too.

 

[Largeletters]

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss, whether you were close or not.
Second, I understand how you feel. I've always thought I would prefer a memorial service over a funeral, ex. no church service, no elaborate amounts of money spent. I'd like the money to spent mostly on my burial, to be buried in either a relatively plain spot in the cemetery so I could be with my mother, father, and/or sister when they pass, or next to my relatives that have passed, my grandparents.

 

[Read123456788]

I think funerals are a good concentration point for those left behind to focus on whilst they start grieving. I have been to many funerals and I wouldn't cope if we didn't have one for those I love. That said I do think they don't need to be so theatrical. I really dislike those who was never there for said person but cry and put on a performance

 

[seafarer]

My dad passed few months back and we had no funeral or service or anything just a cremation and the money that would have been spent on a funeral that is basically just to make other people feel better about themselves my mum had his ashes made into jewelry. He said he didn't want a funeral as it is just a symbolic thing and as even the funeral director said they get phone calls from people asking is the deceaseds family is having a wake or gathering after and if he says they are not the people aren't interested in attending,so basically the funeral director said people mostly go just for the free drinks and food and the making themselves look good. We chose to just say fuck all that and spend the money on things he wanted and that mattered to him and that was his family. People gave some wired reactions when we told them no funeral then next questions was asking about a wake etc. Luckily my father had told his sisters and people who bothered visiting him in hospital what the plan was as we had about 4 days notice that he was going to die in hospital as the doctors came and said there is nothing they can do his body is shutting down.my mum has already said she wants the same. I have even gone further and said just refuse to accept by body so you don't pay for a funeral or even a cremation just let them dump my.body in the trash or.give to science.

 

[Clut]

I'm personally not worried about a funeral as when I'm dead I'm dead but if people want a funeral for me for closure or whatever then I'm fine with that

 

[seafarer]

I'm actively against in just on the princable of people making money off the misery of families,no matter how they dress it up with things like helping you say goodbye etc they don't hesitate in upselling you that nice oak box for just 50p extra and some flowers to put on coffin for 150 and a headstone made of marble for 2000. There is a reason all funeral directors have fleets of cars and limos because they take people's savings when they know full well slot can't afford it. It sickens me
My dad's no frills or service or visitors and just cremation still come to £1500. Of which 500 was the cremation fee and the rest was them doing everything else including collecting body getting home prepared in coffin and taking him to cream and taking some photos of my father entering the conveyor belt thing for the cremation. And that is the cheapest possible route apart from bigging a hole in your back garden! It was made easier because he chose to stay in hospital for the last few days rather than come home and be a burden and then have to have police and coroner come to house and have all that extra emotional turmoil for my mother

 

[one4all]

Lysergik Funeral Procession

 

[mooncake]

I'm so torn on this topic. On one hand, I personally don't want a funeral. I don't have that many friends, I don't get along with most of my family and my family and friends don't really know eachother. So there are also some logistical problems. I feel like no one really knows me well enough to plan a funeral that represents who I am either. The financial aspect is another thing for me. Where I live, burials in either a coffin or an urn are mandatory. For that one has to purchase a plot on a designated cemetery. the cheapest burial option (cremation, simple urn, public plot, not gravestone or similar things, no funeral) is still over 2000€ and I don't feel comfortable adding more to that, considering I won't leave much money behind if any.

On the other hand, I understand that funerals can be very important and helpful in the grieving process, so I also feel like it's not my place to ask them not to have one for me...since I won't be around anyways. I'm al little worried about how my loved ones will feel, once they realize, they don't know me well enough to plan a funeral, and I also think it's to leave a note with my favorite color, song, outfit, flowers or even favorite people. I already found a funeral home that only seems pretty progressive and openly talks about grief after suicide, and I think that if there was a funeral, they'd be the best for it.

Another part of me considers donating my body to science. I have a very rare autoimmune disease, that hasn't been studied for very long. However, the thought of being touched disgusts and scares me. Even knowing, I'll be washed and touched by the funeral home operators, who are very respectful with the dead, really bothers me. It would probably be the right thing to do but the thought makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm selfish for that.

Another part of me considers donating my body to science. I have a very rare autoimmune disease, that hasn't been studied for very long. However, the thought of being touched disgusts and scares me. Even knowing, I'll be washed and touched by the funeral home operators, who are very respectful with the dead, really bothers me. It would probably be the right thing to do but the thought makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm selfish for that.

I'm also not sure how my loved ones would feel about my body being donated and therefore not being able to bury me.

 

[BPD Barbie]

If it gives my family closure and they think they can afford it, then they can hold a funeral for me. But I'm not overly bothered, there really aren't that many people who would attend anyway. I'd rather just be cremated and scattered somewhere I love.