Venting Fundamentally fucked

[Tried-tireD]

I apologise in advance if this post offends in any way

I've seen many posts recently about how people have lost relationships, been betrayed, been abandoned ect and it got me thinking about humans as a species. This may get philosophical: I've been told by professionals, seen in media and all that, that humans are social creatures and we (supposedly) thrive on connections and bonds with others. I won't discredit this as there are obviously exceptions. But this social aspect that drives our, I guess evolution and longevity seems (to me at least) majorly contradictory to our selfish nature. If we're always putting ourselves before others then how are we supposed to find those long lasting relationships?

For me personally, I lack any sort of real connection, a solid bond with someone due to everyone abandoning me when I needed them the most because they didn't want to deal with anything serious. Whenever someone asks "How you doing" and your answer is anything other than "I'm good and you" then they ditch you, they don't wanna hear that even if they do say otherwise.

I think that this world is going to shit, honestly. Filled with selfish pricks who only care about themselves. Sure there are exceptions but it looks like everything is run by superfluous and superficial relationships which I utterly despise. That's just me. What's the point in going on in a world where nothing is "real"?

I've always wanted a true friendship where there are mostly no lies and there is unconditional support and everything. Idgaf if that's impossible. It does exist. Just very rare. I've also wanted a partner too. Love and validation rocks, doesn't it? But, although I've never experienced those things, thanks mostly to this site, there are too many examples of how rotten and selfish people can be and those sort of relationships don't last or were never even there to begin with. It makes me sick

I don't even know what this post is anymore ffs

 

[Sister of the Moon]

Everything you wrote makes perfect sense. Technology can make us connected to far more people than ever before. Yet it's a double-edged sword since it's commonly used to make dozens of superficial connections we certainly wouldn't have made otherwise. In turn, this superficiality has spilled over into our real-life interactions. People today of all ages have lost the proper interaction skills they once had, and the younger generations never even had those skills as they've had a screen shoved in their face from being babies.

Unless we somehow lose the technology we've come to rely on, this is only going to get worse. I fear for the future led by superficial narcissists who will never know the pleasures of a simpler life. There are still some good people who know kindness, love and respect, but these people are unfortunately in the minority. It's up to us to find these people and encourage better ways of living through kindness, community, sharing and spreading positivity.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do get where you are coming from. Biologically, we are programmed to try and ensure the survival of our genes. This I suppose accounts for people seeking out partners, reproducing- and ought to ensure that they care about their offspring.

Have you ever read the book 'The Selfish Gene' by Richard Dawkings? He talks about the phenomenon of altruism- why do we care about people who don't share our genes? I think he says it is because we have learnt that if we help others- they help us in return. So- altruistic genes have thrived and been passed on...

Maybe, we're now learning that we can do even better by pretending to care and then exploiting the other person all we can! I agree with you- that's often what seems to happen. Maybe the altruistic genes have just been overwritten with a bunch of selfish arsehole genes.

Worse still- the people out there who DO still care about others probably care SO much that they simply don't want to bring their own children into this shit show. I sometimes wonder- if the state of the world just becomes more and more harsh- more and more competetive- will it ever get to the point where only the sociopathic/narcissistic people will be able to survive in it?

 

[TimetoGo!]

I apologise in advance if this post offends in any way

I've seen many posts recently about how people have lost relationships, been betrayed, been abandoned ect and it got me thinking about humans as a species. This may get philosophical: I've been told by professionals, seen in media and all that, that humans are social creatures and we (supposedly) thrive on connections and bonds with others. I won't discredit this as there are obviously exceptions. But this social aspect that drives our, I guess evolution and longevity seems (to me at least) majorly contradictory to our selfish nature. If we're always putting ourselves before others then how are we supposed to find those long lasting relationships?

For me personally, I lack any sort of real connection, a solid bond with someone due to everyone abandoning me when I needed them the most because they didn't want to deal with anything serious. Whenever someone asks "How you doing" and your answer is anything other than "I'm good and you" then they ditch you, they don't wanna hear that even if they do say otherwise.

I think that this world is going to shit, honestly. Filled with selfish pricks who only care about themselves. Sure there are exceptions but it looks like everything is run by superfluous and superficial relationships which I utterly despise. That's just me. What's the point in going on in a world where nothing is "real"?

I've always wanted a true friendship where there are mostly no lies and there is unconditional support and everything. Idgaf if that's impossible. It does exist. Just very rare. I've also wanted a partner too. Love and validation rocks, doesn't it? But, although I've never experienced those things, thanks mostly to this site, there are too many examples of how rotten and selfish people can be and those sort of relationships don't last or were never even there to begin with. It makes me sick

I don't even know what this post is anymore ffs

you are bang on with this.....couldnt agree more pal

 

[Tried-tireD]

Everything you wrote makes perfect sense. Technology can make us connected to far more people than ever before. Yet it's a double-edged sword since it's commonly used to make dozens of superficial connections we certainly wouldn't have made otherwise. In turn, this superficiality has spilled over into our real-life interactions. People today of all ages have lost the proper interaction skills they once had, and the younger generations never even had those skills as they've had a screen shoved in their face from being babies.

Unless we somehow lose the technology we've come to rely on, this is only going to get worse. I fear for the future led by superficial narcissists who will never know the pleasures of a simpler life. There are still some good people who know kindness, love and respect, but these people are unfortunately in the minority. It's up to us to find these people and encourage better ways of living through kindness, community, sharing and spreading positivity.

That's true. I really struggle to see how this superficially driven dynamic can somehow be mitigated. I don't think there's a future worth striving for if its ruled by the narcissists

Maybe, we're now learning that we can do even better by pretending to care and then exploiting the other person all we can! I agree with you- that's often what seems to happen. Maybe the altruistic genes have just been overwritten with a bunch of selfish arsehole genes.

I like that thought. The altruistic genes are then lost along the way while the selfish genes become more dominant.

Worse still- the people out there who DO still care about others probably care SO much that they simply don't want to bring their own children into this shit show. I sometimes wonder- if the state of the world just becomes more and more harsh- more and more competetive- will it ever get to the point where only the sociopathic/narcissistic people will be able to survive in it?

If the world truly does come to that, I simply do not want to be a part of it. Frankly I'm losing faith in the idea that the state of the world could ever become better. I'd really hate to become sociopathic/narcissistic just to adapt to a world I already hate

 

[Heartbroken2022]

I cannot agree more with you. The thing is that let's say you have found the person who you think is the exception among all the shitty people to meet every day. He/She has everything that you require to make a lasting relationship.
Even that person nowadays can be so easily affected by his/her surrounding envinronment (friends, colleagues, social media, movies, series, just strangers on the bus, etc.) that eventually at some point you might lose that person.
Relationships are so hard to develop nowadays and if you manage to do that they are even harder to maintain and to keep away from all risks. Unfortunately that is modern life.
That's why we are in this forum I guess...
If relationships were easier, this forum might not have existed at all.

 

[yyytry]

I don't think there's a future worth striving for if its ruled by the narcissists

That's the old way.
The new way will be machines/AI who rule us and those who rule the machines.

We are in the last chapters of human freedom.
Things will be changing dramatically in the next 20 years.

Well that's my 2 cents on it.

 

[Tried-tireD]

That's the old way.
The new way will be machines/AI who rule us and those who rule the machines.

We are in the last chapters of human freedom.
Things will be changing dramatically in the next 20 years.

Well that's my 2 cents on it.

Maybe the machines will spare the altruists and those people who truly care in an inevitable AI uprising :/
That's my 2 cents added to that