Fuck someone did what i planned / dreamed: Jumping from a dam

[Kodama]

Hi guys
I'm considering CTB everyday since few weeks, i'm deeply depressed by a professional situation (my start up is near from bankruptcy)... I readed a lot of thread about hanging / jumping (most simple way to CTB impulsively for me)... And near from home their is a 240 feet Dam i was thinking about. Hanging method soon good but i changed my mind very often the last days (CTB/No CTB/ Hanging/Jumping/teleportation far far away....).
Last week someone did this jump... and die. Is it a sign ?
Totally lost !
I'm 51, French, 2 children (18 & 22), first time depressed but unable to ask for help and unable to see a pleasant future...
Wish i'll have a heart issue during my sleep or an accident very quickly, because my children will be much more broken if they know about my self destructive mood :/

 

[First loss]

Well fuck, friend. I understand that money is essential in this world and that losing it could cause you a great deal of stress and pain. If you are going to kill yourself over it, it is your choice and your choice only. Still, I would recommend pushing trough life until it is 100% over for you and try and fix the bankruptcy situation.

As for that suicide on the dam, I do not really think of it as a sign from the heavens that it is your destiny or anything. If anything, you have a confirmation that your jumping attempt will work.

Best of luck.

 

[Kodama]

Money and shame... CTB could be better now for my children as i'll be able to let them some money... in few months it will probably be too late...
I know it's stupid to think like but it's my only way of thinking right now.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Money and shame... CTB could be better now for my children as i'll be able to let them some money... in few months it will probably be too late...
I know it's stupid to think like but it's my only way of thinking right now.

if u file for bankrupcy- dont you then rid yourself of all debt? u cant start over-- i know you want to give yr kids some money-but they are adults now-many many parents dont give there kids any money at all from 18 onwards (earlier in some cases) some times kids that age have to help their parents with money-if you have given them even some love and affection over the years that is the SINGLE most important and valuable gift you could ever give them-in my opinion far more important than any money - in giving them the emotional tools needed to thrive now and in later life,

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

I understand what you are going through. I started some business ventures that did not pan out. I was completely disappointed in myself because I am a perfectionist. However the majority of new businesses fail. Unfortunately thats just the luck of the draw. I would consider taking time off to regroup. While you may feel embarrassed I think you are strong enough to recover from it. Anyone who creates a new business is a strong person because it requires you to think outside the box and be extremely resourceful. This may be a time to step back pick up the lessons and make a pivot to create something new.

I would also like to ask if one of your children had a business that did not go as planned and you found out he/she wanted to suicide because of it what would you say to him/her? I'm almost sure you would not want suicide to be their fate.

I hope you will reconsider. We are here to talk to you if you need it.

 

[Kodama]

This may be a time to step back pick up the lessons and make a pivot to create something new.

Your right, but no more energy right now and I'm so tired of me...

Anyone who creates a new business is a strong person because it requires you to think outside the box and be extremely resourceful

"Ever tried, ever failed, no matter, try again, fail again, fail better" i know... i'm just so tired...

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Your right, but no more energy right now and I'm so tired of me...

"Ever tried, ever failed, no matter, try again, fail again, fail better" i know... i'm just so tired...

I am tired too. I totally understand.

I only ask what you would tell your kids because you might be too hard on yourself right now. If you would not support your kids choice you may be able to see that there are other choices for you too?

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. I can't help you with next steps. That is solely your decision. But you can find support here whatever you decide.

 

[Kodama]

I am tired too. I totally understand.

I only ask what you would tell your kids because you might be too hard on yourself right now. If you would not support your kids choice you may be able to see that there are other choices for you too?

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. I can't help you with next steps. That is solely your decision. But you can find support here whatever you decide.

I would support them 100% off course and i'll be probably scared about any suicidal intension from them... And i agree, being here can help me a bit, because I keep my mindset Top Secret as you can imagine.