Venting FUCK... none to help

[Yaka]

I am unable to save myself from this hell I am in
None else is going to save me from this hell I am in
None is going to care till I am gone because they have made this hell
They all want me to stay in this place of shame so they can use me as there slave - they made it so I am stuck to serve them even at 18 years old
there is no way out but one because my boyfriend will not come get me out

My current partner said that he was going to get me out in march,
I asked recently for the dates for the week he is going to come help and then he stated that his scedual was really busy the next 6 months
well I left the convo at that because I felt like I had been stabbed
Then later he messaged me stating he wanted to go into the army - Like what the fuck Am I the idiot?! Or is he saying he does not have time for me because of his work but he does have time to go spend his last moments fighting for a country that does not allow women to get abortions till they are actively dying and even that is iffy
I just feel like he is not supporting me and then also he wants to support a place that does not support women

I dont know I just need someone to tell me if I am crazy or not, if I am thinking clearly or not, if I am being rational or not.

 

[Yaka]

You do not want to rely on others to dig you out of a hole. You'll only find yourself trapped in another one. People will always have their own wants and ambitions. To expect someone to make sacrifices for youis irrational. You're right in that no one is obligated to save you but yourself. I'm sorry you feel betrayed by his choice, I understand why you would but people join the military for many reasons, in some cases it may benefit them in the long run not because they necessarily want to fight for their country.

Maybe I'm just biased though. I know what it's like to feel disappointed, hurt and betrayed after getting your hopes up, waiting and waiting only for it all to turn out null on a whim. Especially when it's by someone you love. I think we all like to think we'd do it for them if they were in our shoes but that's not being realistic. There are a lot of people I wish I could've made sacrifices for but ended up bailing for my own sake and sanity. But life isn't a fairytale and no one is obligated to be your knight in shining armor nor you theirs.

If it's any consolation, you are not a slave, you can be free - with or without their help. Try to pretend you're on the outside looking in, how would you go about saving yourself from this situation? I'd start small, save money, look into apartments or roommates - see what criteria you'll have to meet to get yourself out of there and start from there. I know it's hard but try to keep your goals and ambitions close to heart. I wish you the best of luck OP. You can do this.

Do not worry I did actually want everyones opinion no matter what it is, thanks for yours.

The big problem is I cant get a job, as I drive my dads car and so he and mom can choose where the ca goes and if they do not approve of the job I can not go to it
I work for my mom at the moment and she does not pay me for the work I do so I am very stuck

I do not normally rely on anyone to help and ngl I did not expect this person to help but I was still crushed when I found put they wanted to spend there time away from work for much longer for the military