Venting fuck. I did it again.

[livelaughlove]

holy shit. I did the thing I promised I wouldn't do again. I opened up to a teacher. Like today was just too much and I went to him expecting to just have a casual light-hearted "how do you stay happy?" convo (because he's one of the most positive person I know and I've been really trying to be like him for the past few months). but no. I said that calm and all, but when i spoke another word I started bursting into tears. my god. I can control my emotions when I don't need/have to, but when I actually do need/have to I can't control them. It was a good talk though. I didn't think I'd ever open up to him like that much ever. But obviously he has to tell the higher ups (people in charge of student welfare) and that was fine because they already know. I've gone through this before. But now it's really hitting me. Like I really went into detail this time. Fuck. Everyone's had this totally different image of me this year because of how much differently I presented myself (happy and living life). They all believed that I was a whole different person and didn't have these thoughts. And it was great. No one worried about me. Now I've just ruined it again..

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly- I think it's for the best you told him. You obviousy felt comfortable enough to- so- hopefully he will respect your privacy as much as he can. It is REALLY frightening opening up to people but if you feel like you need to continue- at least for now- and especially with the pressures of uni- I think it's best your tutors know- so they can support you better. I hope it will turn out for the best that he knows.

 

[hrsprayqn]

It's terrifying opening up to people, but I'm proud of you for doing so. You deserve to get better, and I sincerely hope you do friend

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that it's always a terrible idea opening up about wanting to die and it would certainly just make things worse but of course I get that for many people it's hard to keep their feelings to themselves. People should be able to open up about suicide without the negative consequences and stigma associated with it as after all suicide is a human right and there is nothing wrong with choosing to exit this world, but this is sadly not the way that things are.